TOS Caption Contest #202: Leftover Turkeys

[Rat Boy]

Screaming family members becoming unbearable this holiday weekend? Why not settle in for a new caption contest? First, let's pass the gravy to...

Well, I guess Pike's off my fantasy team...

Mendez: Fleet Captain Pike had an injury.

Spock: His hamstring again? You can't keep bringing us here every time he gets a boo boo.

Mendez: He was exposed to Gamma Rays.

Spock: Whoops.

He'd take the road less traveled, but considering how high up they are, that might not be a good idea...

T'Pau: "There are two paths before you Spock. Which will you choose?"

Spock: "Must all my inner turmoils become so irritatingly literal?"

And now, evidence that TOS was occasionally a little cheesy...

Kirk: "Captain's Log Stardate 4347.3. The good news is this moon in the Cacio Sector really is made from green cheese. The bad news is we waited so long that, at this point, it's more mold than cheese."

Scotty: "It's Stilton, ye heathen!" walks off mumbling. "Uncultured Americans and their damned processed cheese in a tube!"

Three pictures to Photoshop yields three winners...

Kirk: "Let me guess, Mr. Chekov... you took a wrong turn at Albuquerque."

Chekov: "Albuquerque? No sir... it was Minsk."


.

After winning the Quidditch World Cup,
Harry is off to face "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"
......Khaaaan!

McCoy: This is getting out of hand. Now there are two of them!

Spock: We should not have made this bargain

Congratulations to the winners. This week, we're dialing it back to two pictures. First, I think I may know why Charlie blew up the Antares. Second, Kirk tries his hand at being a drama critic. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Ramart: "Oh, by the way: Charlie's a bed-wetter."

Kirk: "The nosebleed section? I told you to go to Stubhub.com to get tickets!"

 

[jep]

Kirk, thinking to self: ("That's right.... reach over and get another handful of 'popcorn'.")


.

 

[ItsGreen]

(Kirk thinking to himself)

Frankly I don't see why the women go crazy for this guy.
He might be a good actor, but Damn, look at those ears.
They're almost as big as Spock's.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk (whispering): "Psst! Got any jujubes?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Ramart: "Word of warning: Charlie gets cranky without his nappy time."

 

[jep]

"Charlie was a real pleasure to have around! He even gave us these sweet red uniform tunics!"


.

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Ramart: Well, So long! Have fun with the teenage freakshow!

Kirk (o.s): What?

Kirk: Man! This movie sucks! If this Michael Bay were still alive I'd kick his ass

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK (thinking): I thought Nick Fury was black.

 

[ItsGreen]

Charlie chuckled when he changed Navigator Tom Nellis
into Tom Turkey! Captain Raymart just smiled and went along so
his neck wasn't also on the chopping block.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy.

Kirk: "So, you were actually in the first of these "Pirates of the Laurentian" movies?"

Guy with Eyepatch: "Yarrh, 'twas my lasting regret not to sign on for the sequel. Got a job with an insurance company. How be I to know we'd make a hit?"

 

[jep]

Shater: "Wow... even with our supposed technological strides in the future, you have an eye patch?"

One eye: "Fuck off Bill. At least I'm not wearing a rug."


.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Shatner and the Paramount executives after the screening of the widely unknown to be filmed "Phase II" pilot.

Shatner: "So?"
Paramount: "Need more Patrick Stewart."

 

[Smellincoffee]

Brother Ramart: Hi, Mister Kirk? We'd like to talk to you. Have you heard the Good News?
Kirk: Dammit. I told gamma shift to use more discretion when beaming over civilians.

Kirk: If you ask me, if they didn't FILM it in 3-D, they shouldn't SHOW it in 3-D.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "That bald guy playing MacBeth...I wonder if I can get his autograph."

 

[LeadHead]

Tom: Avatar looks the same to me on standard and 3-D.

Kirk: You do realize you don't have any depth perception right?

 

[Gepard]

KIRK: "Try to guess where my hand is."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "The fellow who plays me has the requisite awesomeness, but otherwise I think this J.J. Abrams doesn't quite get it."

 

[Isis]

Tom: Avatar looks the same to me on standard and 3-D.

Kirk: You do realize you don't have any depth perception right?

Sick, but hysterical.

 

[LeadHead]

Tom: Avatar looks the same to me on standard and 3-D.

Kirk: You do realize you don't have any depth perception right?

Sick, but hysterical.

I freely admit it wasn't the most tasteful joke in the world, I was watching Futurama when I was doing my captioning and Leela put that into my brain. Hope nobody was offended.