TOS Caption Contest #194: Have A Drink On Me

[Slightly Insane]

Bones: Did you know I'm also a gynecologist? You look overdue for a checkup.

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Gotta hand it to those soap operas. So this is the stuff they use to strip out the DNA from paternity test samples?"

 

[Sigh]

Yes, it's Andorian tanning fluid. Taken internally it should give beings an... other worldy glow....

 

[T'Girl]

McCoy: "You know where I'd like to see that shawl?"

Shaw: "Knotted around my wrists, then tied to your headboard?"

McCoy: "Actual, knotted around your neck, then tied to a ceiling beam, but we can work towards that."

 

[Mistral]

McCoy: "You know where I'd like to see that shawl?"

Shaw: "Knotted around my wrists, then tied to your headboard?"

McCoy: "Actual, knotted around your neck, then tied to a ceiling beam, but we can work towards that."

I need help. And so do you.

 

[milo bloom]

Kahn: "And who was it that left a flaming sack of tribble poop outside my quarters?"

OS: "Sulu!"

Kirk: "Dammit Chekov, get out from underneath the table!"

Spock: "Due to Starfleet budget cutbacks, we have to replace with your Saurian brandy with Trader Joe's Three Buck Chuck. "

 

[LeadHead]

Khan: Thank you for your hospitality Captain. I had a very memorable conversation with young Mister Chekov.

Kirk: Who?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Château Picard, eh?

SPOCK: They were out of Thunderbird.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ANNOUNCER: James T. Kirk can hear him, even over the sound of how awesome Kirk is.

He is...The Most Interesting Man In the World.

KHAN: I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.

Stay thirsty, my friends.

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: This bottle was brought aboard, it's final destination is the Gamma Quadrant.

Kirk: Who's it for?

Spock: Someone named Weyoun, the message says: "The alpha quadrant has the best poisons, see ya in a century!"

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "You expect me to take you seriously, when your clothes are made from a tablecloth?"

Kirk: "You expect me to take you seriously, when your clothes are made from a tablecloth?"

 

[Itisnotlogical]

"Ahh... Spock, what is this? It's very refreshing."

"It's Mr. Chekov's bi-monthly urine sample for drug testing. The Saurian brandy is in the blue bottle, Captain."

"... Can we make Mr. Chekov's drug test weekly?"

"Ah... most refreshing, Captain. I don't believe I've ever had this drink before..."

"It's personally hand-made by our very own Mr. Chekov, Khan."

 

[Captain Crow]

Khan: This drink has a very odd yet very intoxicating flavor. What is it?

Kirk: Smuff urine.

 

[Isis]

McCoy: "Sorry, Halloween isn't for three weeks."

 

[Isis]

McCoy: "Excuse me, miss, but is that a tribble on your head?"

McCoy: "Excuse me, miss, but is that a tribble on your head?"

[with apologies to Tom Bergeron]

 

[ItsGreen]

Madam, I'm a Doctor not a fashion consultant!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Drink up, Spock. It's only a matter of time before Cigar Guy shows up in the caption contest."

Spock: "Which one?"

Kirk: "All of them!"

 

[Ssosmcin]

Kirk: "This tastes like piss. I don't get it, Surian Brandy doesn't go bad."

Spock: "Oh snap, that's a brandy bottle?"

McCoy: "Fill this and give it to the nurse. I'll call you with the results."

Khan: "200 years of evolution and advancement, yet the best you can offer me is a wine cooler?"

McGivers: "You're bitching to a manniquin."

Khan: "But that's what I'll tell him when he gets here. Just wait."

 

[Ssosmcin]

McCoy: "You have cold fingers."

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Wow, that's never happened before. I spill my drink on your dress and your dress turns into a Picaso Painting.