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After the Plomeek soup incident, Kirk ordered Mr. Spock and Nurse Chapel to watch the StarFleet species hygine video "Why Human Jane Can't Date a Vulcan".
I've had to go through every officer in the fleet to get into this position.
I am humiliated, however I still have got my rank, don't I? The Captain's whore!
Kirk (to self): "Well, that conversation went well. She seems so mellow. After today's tough away mission, I know we'll just have a nice quiet night in. Pop some popcorn and watch a movie. I think we're really going to get along well."
Noel (to self): "Well, that conversation went well. He seems so dynamic. After today's tough away mission, I know he'll want to take my mind off it by an exciting night on the town. Hit every club in the sector. I think we're really going to get along well."