TOS Caption Contest #185: Punch Drunk

[Rat Boy]

Well, now that I'm firmly back in the Hotel California, it's time for another caption contest. First, let's live it up with...

For watching about as much TV as I do, our winner is...

Rand: "Captain, you should know i've seen Seinfeld and i know what you're doing."

For demonstrating that the Corps is mother, the Corps is creepy step-father, our winner is...

Bester: I know you'll end up doing great things at Psi Corps.

Landon: But I'm not a telepath.

Bester: Details....Details...

For the best song to bludgeon someone to, our dual winners are...

"Greb a fencepost, hold eet tight,
Whomp your partner wit' all your might,
Hit heem in the chin, hit heem in the head,
Hit heem again, th-- "

"Chekov!"
"Sir?"
"Not. Helping!"

The critter ain't dead
Whop him low and whop him high
Stick yer finger in his eye
Pretty little thing, pretty little sound
Bang yer heads against the ground!

Sorry, I love that cartoon!

And our Photoshop winner wins by a nose, or a neck in this case...

Chekov: "Does it bodder me? Vell, av course not. Aldough I'm just curious--you're certain you don't have some giraffe in your lineage?"

Congratulations to the winners! First up this week, we have Dr. McCoy wondering if Sandoval's eyeing his lemon drink (Rifftrax joke). Our second pick comes by way of captrek and it's a doozy. Finally, the cast tries to let Walter Koenig down gently when they tell him he's not going to be in TAS. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Sandoval: "I know what you were doing with my daughter last night."

McCoy: "Want to see how fast I can put you in a hospital?"

Kirk: "Meh, I've had better yeomen. She couldn't stop whining about how short Ensign Garrovick's dick is. Is someone behind me?"

Spock: "For the last time, that's not what the poop deck's for!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Come on guys, the wig isn't that bad!

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY: You lying sack of S**T.

This isn't Nestea.

You tried sneakin' some generic crap by on ol' Leonard, didn't ya?

I'm going to break your jaw for this.

GARROVICK: Hi - KEEBA!!!

I'm huge!!!

Chekov's impacted wisdom tooth was coming out.

Whether he WANTED it out or not.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY: Want a sip?

Don't worry, Sandoval...

There's not MUCH backwash in there.

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCOY:You should see the last guy who called this a "fru-fru drink"

 

[jep]

Sulu, thinking to himself: "(Sigh) Why can't Spock look deep into my eyes like that?"



.

 

[jep]

McCoy: "You mean you have no need for doctors YET. Because I'm about to open up a whole can of whoop-ass on you."



.

 

[jep]

Garrovick makes a very bad decision in his quest to complete the true duty of the "Red Shirt" on away missions.



.

 

[Rat Boy]

Garrovick: "I can't stand it! First 'Rocket Man,' now 'Bohemian Rhapsody?!'"

 

[jep]

Ninja Diemon Dave: "And a Judey Chop!!!"




.

 

[cooleddie74]

There were consequences for seeing one's birthday presents too early.

Even for a legendary starship captain.

 

[TeaKirk]

Bones: If you make me say I'm a doctor not a.....I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be able to apply Preparation H with a toothbrush and by god I'll do it!, just how big a boy are ya?

(Roy D.Mercer reference!)

 

[jep]

McCoy: "Why thank you... I've never had anyone tell me I had "some mighty purty lips" before. Say, do you hear a banjo playing?"



.

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY: Nice pants, Sandoval.

Where'd you get them..."Sober Losers 'R' Us"?

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: It's an old family recipe.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: I don't think I like your tone of voice, Sandoval! In fact, I don't much care for the way you're dressed, either! And come to think of it, that's a pretty crappy haircut you've got there, too!

Kirk: Looks like a pretty dangerous situation up ahead, Ensign! Lucky for me you didn't let yourself be spooked by all those "red shirt" rumors back on the ship!"

McCoy: "Jesus Christ, I've never seen anyone so terrified of a simple prostate exam!"

 

[LeadHead]

McCoy: Your prescription? Walk two miles away from me right now and maybe I'll answer your call in the morning.

Garrovick: I will not become a Red Shirt Statistic!

Spock: My Mind to your mind... Fascinating.

Sulu: What is it?

Spock: He actually does think everything was invented in Russia.

 

[Maurice]

BONES: If I keep drinkin' these, next thing ya know I'll being seeing white rabbits!

When Kirk heard Garrovick threaten to use Hai Karate, he thought it meant aftershave.

SPOCK: I said "look into my eyes"! That's an order, douchenozzle!

 

[ItsGreen]

What am I a Doctor, or a bump on a log?