TOS Caption Contest #181: The Last King of Scott-Land

[jep]

Scotty: "Lookin' ta fight then are ya, ya wee fuckin' shiter?"



.

 

[DrBob]

Scotty: Right, ye three are going ta be beaming down with me to the coldest most hostile environment you've ever seen, with huge aggressive red haired creatures that'll make a Mugatu look like a wee tribble in comparison.

Security: Wheres that Sir?

Scotty: Scotland

 

[Mistral]

McCoy couldn't help but watch as Scotty shoved his Wee Willie into the headphones plug on Kirk's chair.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "So Chekov was a Russian sleeper agent all along?"

Scotty: "Aye, and he was so subtle about it!"

McCoy: "What, the Leningrad remarks weren't a big enough hint for you?"

 

[Ssosmcin]

Scotty feels somewhat better, but Bones, well aware of the lethal vacuum of space, desperately wants to crack a window.

Scotty: "From my mother. Why?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "Great, that takes care of the tribbles, but what about the tribble shit?"

McCoy: "I'm a doctor, not a waste disposal expert!"

Scotty: "Wanna toss me caber?"

Scotty: "So Craig Kilborn has a new show, eh?"

Conan: "Yeah, I wonder how long it'll take before he quits and gets replaced by someone better."

Scotty: "What do you mean the caption contest hasn't had a new post in a day and a half...oh, wait."

 

[Isis]

Scotty: "How much for the hat, lass? It's just the bonnie finishing touch me dress uniform needs."

Scotty: "So what de ye think, laddies? Does the hat make this outfit or what?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Scotty: "How much for the hat, lass? It's just the bonnie finishing touch me dress uniform needs."

Scotty: "So what de ye think, laddies? Does the hat make this outfit or what?"

Guard: "Its missing something."

Scotty: "Better?"

 

[jep]

Scotty: "Better?"

Guard: "Well, this explains the choice of paint for these bulkheads."



.

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: So anyway in about 100 years I'll be telling some random Ensign about how I came to this planet and he'll be paying even less attention than you are now.

 

[Isis]

McCoy (to self): "Hmmm, this may be a good opportunity to lift Scotty's wallet."

McCoy (to self a nanosecond later): "Who am I kidding? I'm a doctor, not a pickpocket."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: I wonder if I should mention to Scotty that he's putting on a few pounds. Nah...it's not like it'll get out of hand.

 

[Ssosmcin]

Mr. DePaul (thinking): "Please don't look over here. Please don't look over here. Please don't look over here..."

 

[TeaKirk]

Bones: I wonder if he could ever do a barrel roll?
http://img72.imageshack.us/img72/2733/scottland1.jpg

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY: What?

Ye haven't HEARD, lass?

It was me understanding that even on Argelius it was common knowledge!

KARA: And what would that be?


(*"Surfin' Bird" starts playing...Scotty jumps to his feet and dances*)

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY: You really need to get a better laundry detergent, Scotty.

Those stains just do NOT go away.

 

[Isis]

Scotty: "How much for the hat, lass? It's just the bonnie finishing touch me dress uniform needs."

Scotty: "So what de ye think, laddies? Does the hat make this outfit or what?"

Guard: "Its missing something."

Scotty: "Better?"

Kara: F'ing Earthers. Give 'em an inch and they take a mile."

[With thanks to jep for the final photoshop.]

 

[Yeoman Randi]

SCOTTY: Well, well. Looks like Christmas came early this year.

KARA: Would you like to unwrap your presents?

SCOTTY (embarrassed) Actually "Christmas" is me nickname for my willie.

Morning cawfee spew!!!!!!!

 

[Ssosmcin]

McCoy: "Who is Lt. Magnum? And why does he keep calling you 'Higgins'?"

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY: Well. Guess we're all out of ideas.

Any last-minute suggestions before that alien ship blasts us into a million pieces?

SCOTTY: Aye.

Get me a new pair of skivvies, lad.

And some wet naps.