TOS Caption Contest #181: The Last King of Scott-Land

[jep]

Scotty: "I've got a sudden overpowering urge for some fresh cantaloupe... and to let you play with the ol' bagpipe."


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[Sir Rhosis]

^^^I believe we're witnessing the birth of another caption contest legend -- "Late Night Scotty"

 

[T'Boggan]

McCoy: Thinks....Hmmmm, Is he or isnt he?

Scotty:Thinks....Did I put them on this morning or what?

Scotty:"Dont wurry lass its no the first time ahv beamed a tribble!"

Scotty " Fur the luv of God man if you dont get oot ma way I'll stick yer heed up ma kilt and fart you into an anurism!"

 

[jep]

Kara: "Why did you tear a hole in the container Scotty?"

Scotty: "Nevermind that, lass. Go ahead and have some more popcorn. There be a .... surprise... waitin' on ye at tha' bottom."

Kara: "Oh!!! I like surprises!"

Scotty: "You're gonna love this one, lass."



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[tharpdevenport]

Scott: "Aye -- now that that lad-loving' ensign is off the Bridge, I won't have to worry about my ass being gandered at all the time."

Scott: "Speaking of venting dry plasma ... check this out..."

Ensign on the right: "You see yon sleeping Scotsman who is young and handsome built. I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath their kilt. Ring ding diddle diddle i de o Ring di diddle i o..."

Scott: Stunned silence.

 

[LeadHead]

Multi Cap response:

Scotty: Why don't we get out of here, my starship is in orbit, I'd love to show you.

Kara: You go ahead, I'll meet you there. Ad just so you know, I love a man who can dress up.

Scotty: What are you all doing here?

Ensign: Beautiful girl about to beam up to meet me Sir. She says he loves a man who can dress up.

 

[jep]

Guest Scotty: "If you'd known we were going to turn out like this, you would have transferred into the "Red Shirt Brigade" on the Big E, wouldn't you, laddie?"

Host Scotty: "(Sigh) Aye."



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[Rat Boy]

Ensign: "Well, if this is my bachelor party, where's the stripper?"

Scotty: "I'm the stripper, lad."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: Well, well. Looks like Christmas came early this year.

KARA: Would you like to unwrap your presents?

SCOTTY (embarrassed) Actually "Christmas" is me nickname for my willie.

 

[LeadHead]

Scotty: For the last time... I am Not Groundskeeper Willie!

 

[jep]

Scotty: I'm surprised tha' Captain hasn't told ya boyos... ya hav' ta dress like him: the girdles go INSIDE your clothing.



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[Tribble]

We are now witnessing a major historical event: the moment McCoy, for the first time, thinks about the usefulness of an ass-rubbing clone.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: So, what's it like being me?

 

[jep]

Scotty: "Admit it, you banged number one, didn't ya?"



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[ItsGreen]

What's that you say lass, up where.
Aye, you must mean up the "Jeffries Tube".
Well my "haggus" will be in the fire for sure.

 

[Maurice]

SCOTTY: I always wanted him gone, and now that he is... I dinna know what to do.
BONES:Sit on it.

SCOTTY: Call this a "skant" one more time you'll soon find a dilithium crystal so far up your impulse vent you'll taste it!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: No, laddie. I will not ride your shaft whilst wearing this kilt.

 

[Tribble]

Scotty: What!? The captain says he likes short skirts.

Guard: We are all for equal opportunity and stuff. But if you must wear a skirt, you could at least shave your legs.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: I'm wearing it, are you happy?

GUARD: A bet's a bet.

 

[Tribble]

Scotty: Sulu would like your dress.

Girl: I'd love to show it to him! *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*

Scotty: Yeah, but would you be willing to lend it to him?