TOS Caption Contest #172: A Little Too Much LDS

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Man, this modern condom is uncomfortable."

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[jep]

Uhura: "My God... it's... it's........ BIFURCATED!!!!

Spock: "Indeed Lieutenant... and prehensile."

Uhura: "Oh... my." (Swoon)


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[jep]

(Offscreen) "Play some Hendrix!!!"

Uhura: "I believe I heard someone request 'Lady Is a Tramp'!!!"


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[T'Girl]

~

Andorian: (to Kirk) "... and then the lord Garth takes the ceremonial walk
through the royal trough of Mugato urine, followed by ...

Kirk: "Nooooo !"

 

[Rat Boy]

Fredo Corleone (off camera): "And that's why they call him 'Superman.'"

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: I'm in, you're out.

Uhura: Why are they letting you stay on American Idol and not me.

Spock: It appears that in addition to being logical and precise with my music, I am also "Pitchy Dawg."

Kirk: Now that Redjac as been beamed into space, I must ask the obvious question; Why do we have so many Drugs Aboard?!!!

Garth: I am Garth of Izar, and the first person to ask "What about Wayne?" Gets the Neural Neutralizer.

Kirk: Nice car, reminds me of the one I threw into a Gorge that didn't exist in Iowa...

 

[T'Boggan]

Uhura's party trick of farting the federation anthem always got Spock!

Kirk " The Aristocrats!"

Andorian doctor " And if you dont stop all that stuff with the alien girls Your junk will look like this...show him Garth!

Kirk " Ahhhggg....."

Kirk "Im an exellent driver yeeah"

 

[Maurice]

UHURA: My diaphragm just imploded.

SCOTTY: And then I sold him some "Jewels of Sound"!

KIRK: Now there's something you don't see every day...
MARTA: Lucky you!

KIRK: Ahhh, a flivver!

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Garth, have you no shame? You wouldn't catch me prancing around like that after I've just come out of the pool..."

 

[Isis]

Sulu (OS): "Oh, my!"

 

[Isis]

Spock (OS): "Mr. Izar, that doesn't answer the question 'boxers or briefs?' Neither 'commando' nor 'none of the above' are acceptable answers."

 

[Isis]

Marta: "Garth, did you forget to take your toolbelt off or are you just happy to see us?"

 

[LeadHead]

Spock: Any requests?

Uhura: Yes-

Spock: The same song over and over again? Sure!

Garth: I am now the ruler of this Asylum! God, I'm a pathetic villain.

 

[Captain Crow]

Announcer: And here is Francis wearing the newest in Hobo Fashion. A pre-urinated on combination mole, rat, and squirrel fur coat. [Francis opens coat and twirls around] Note the extra large pockets that are big enough to hold full sized bottles of wine, a couple of 40 ounces, or any other large bottled hard liquor. [audience mildly applauds]

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "This one goes out to that fine-looking chief science officer from the Yorktown."

Uhura: "Why you son of..."

Spock (over communicator): "There appears to have been some sort of malfunction with the transporter. I have arrived in the middle of the council chambers, but my uniform is missing."

Marta: "Burt Reynolds?"

Garth: "Very good. Now your turn, Kirk."

*shapeshifter noise*

Kirk: "Uh...I'm not really good at guessing celebrity wangs."

Garth: "Come on, just this once!"

Kirk: "Uh...Bill Clinton?"

Garth: "You're better at this than you think!"

 

[ItsGreen]

Not only did I nail his girl Drusilla, I also stole Claudius Marcus' Jupiter 8!

 

[T'Girl]

UHURA: My diaphragm just imploded.

SPOCK: This would not have happen Miss Uhura if you had simply gone on the pill as I advised.
No mere physical birth control device can with stand the superiority of Vulcan sperm.

UHURA: I mean "ouch".

 

[jep]

Budget cutbacks are a bitch.


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