TOS Caption Contest #163: What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

[Rat Boy]

What are you laughing at, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's at an awkward moment drop in on...

For making a few people flip through their copies of Inside Star Trek to see if he was right, our winner is...

Leslie Parrish: "I don't get it! That cute Bill Theiss and I spent hours working on this costume, and me flirting for all I was worth the whole time, and nothing! Does he have something against blondes?"

For the most awkward stage directions in a porno ever, our winner is...

Galt: You shall now perform your famous flying butt kick on the female thrall.

And this week, we have multiple Photoshop winners. It all began with the following headswap and ended with most of us reacting like McCoy...

Coming this fall from "Oh Dear God, No!!!!" Studios, LLC, it's "The Hottie and The Scottie"!



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Hope you don't mind, jep. I've been lookin' at this photo for
days and nothin'. I then seen your kickass head swap and I
finally gots it...

Not at all. Go nuts with it.... although... if I may? A small modification:

The censors at CBS required that Desilu Productions edit this scene for decency. (Plus I don't want another bitch-slapping by a mod.)


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If only this had been animated...er...never mind. Congratulations to our winners. This week, we salute the surreal days of season three. First up, Scotty's so desperate to forget about that one time with Paris Hilton that he'll even drink whiskey in a bar with no walls. And in the second, I'm still wondering how the heck Charles Napier got typecast as a gruff, tough guy after "The Way to Eden." Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "How many did that little rich lass give me?"

McCoy: "Eighty, including a few we've never identified before."

Scotty: "Aye."

Adam always enjoyed nailing "Freebird" on Guitar Hero.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Scotty: "I'd rather drink bum wine than this swill"

Adam: "Eruption? I think I can pull that off"

Not at all. Go nuts with it.... although... if I may? A small modification:

The censors at CBS required that Desilu Productions edit this scene for decency. (Plus I don't want another bitch-slapping by a mod.)


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Brilliant! I must invest in a photo shop, lol
though I would have added this

Scotty: "OWwww No teeth!! I said no Teeth!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Two wins--here and in the movie forum! Thanks, Rat Boy!

McCoy: I got a message from Doc Holiday, Jim: "I'm your huckleberry."

Adam: And now for our rendition of "Stairway to Heaven."
Sulu (off-camera): Why is that every asshole with a guitar has to do that f'ing song?

 

[Mysterion]

McCoy: Jim, I told you there was a hair in the glass. But you went and drank it anyway, didn't you? And now you're all grossed-out, aren't you? Y'all should be listenen' to me a little more often, shouldn't you?

Scotty: He did, you know.

Spock: Indeed.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "I liked it better the last time I was in this movie, I was one of the Earps."
Kirk: "Weren't you the one that got killed?"
McCoy: "Aw crap!"

Kirk os: "Do you do requests?"
Adam: "Sure!"
Kirk: "Can you play, boom chikka wow wow...? Hello there little lady!"
blonde hippychick giggles

 

[Maurice]

BONES: Scotch? A 'lil ol lady from Savannah invented it.
KIRK: That's Chekov's line.
BONES: He's dead, Jim.
KIRK: Oh, yeah...

If you're going to Plan-et Eden
Be sure to wear some purple in your hair
If you're going to Plan-et Eden
You're gonna eat some acid foodstuffs there

 

[Nerys Myk]

ADAM (thinking): After this gig I'm rejoining "the Good Ol' Boys". Better off as a Redneck than a Space Hippy

 

[M'Sharak]

McCoy: You know, I've got the nagging feeling we've been here before.
Kirk: The wallpaper... does look kind of familiar, now that you mention it, Bones.
Scotty: Eh? I dinna remember seeing anything like it.
Spock: You were... "hammered out of your skull" the last time, Mr. Scott... if I
recall the engineering parlance correctly, that is.

Scotty: At high noon? Are ye daft, man? Everyone knows that five o'clock is the hour
for a nude-jumping-jacks showdown!
McCoy: He's got you there, Jim.

 

[Nerys Myk]

McCoy: Canadian Whiskey? Figures you two would like it.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "No, seriously, why did they give Chekov two guns?"

Spock: "I should have two guns."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Its probably for the best that we don't get involved.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "On second thought, who cares about Chekov? Kid was more annoying than Elmer Fudd."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Rat Boy!

McCoy: "Scotty, looks like everyone in this whole town is packing iron. And you're the only one around wearing a red shirt. Kinda makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

Deborah Downey (blonde actress): "You want me and Charles to trade costumes? Oh, Mr. Roddenberry! They'd never allow that on the air! Would they?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Chekov (off-camera): Mind if I join you? Do you know "Hey, hey, we're the Monkees"?

 

[alte]

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Are you sure it's a good idea to let Chekov run around here on his own?"

Kirk: "Look, we got four or five of the main characters on this landing party. I think we'll be fine."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: If you three are down here who's in command of the ship?

KIRK: I'm sure they'll work it out like professionals.

 

[jep]

Scottie: "Here ya go, lass, try this one... I call it 'hair of the dog'."

Britney: "Yay!!! I like doggies!"

Kirk: "Say, Britney... (pause for effect as he removes hair from his mouth), do you know the difference between a ham sandwich and a blow job???"

McCoy: "Great, there goes the rest of my penicillin supply."



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[The Squire of Gothos]

Hey Charles Napier! Be sure to mention this part in your future interviews! I say that knowing you won't!

(Why Charles? Embarrassed?)