TOS Caption Contest #151: Early Bird Special

[scottydog]

McCoy: "For God's sake, how many taints do I now have to treat for rope burn, Vulcan STDs, and cat bites!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Make sure they all get separate quarters: I can't be up all night treating prolapsed anuses ..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Scotty: "Scott here. The awesome levels are reachign critical mass; aye do not know how much longer I can hold 'er together!"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock (pressing intercom button): "Yeoman Rand, your latest order from Erotic Robotics has just arrived in Transporter Room 2."

McCoy (muttering): "I have got to get that girl into some kind of therapy..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Gideon dude: "I've seen better strip shows."

 

[Captain Crow]

Reger: Why the fuck do I keep poping up in these contests? One minute I'm having a cup of tea with Conway Twitty, Grignak, Keyboard Cat, Madeleine, and Mrs. Slocombe in the waiting room then bam I'm in another one of these damn things.

Spock: Not now. I'm about to snap into a big ass Slim Jim.

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: Look at all that Shat on the tranporter!

Kirks, singing in unison: We represeant the Over Actors Guild The Over Actors Guild. The Over Actors Guild.

 

[scottydog]

Kirks, singing in unison: We represeant the Over Actors Guild The Over Actors Guild. The Over Actors Guild.

McCoy, singing: "Ding dong, the witch is dead, Jim, the wicked witch, the wicked witch, Jim."

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: I keep telling you we don't have any wassail!

 

[Shatmandu]

Green guy: "I grok Spock."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirks, singing in unison: We represeant the Over Actors Guild The Over Actors Guild. The Over Actors Guild.

McCoy, singing: "Ding dong, the witch is dead, Jim, the wicked witch, the wicked witch, Jim."

Spock: "It's life Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain."

...

...

crickets chirp

Spock: "What!"

McCoy: "You killed it, Spock."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "THE WOMEN!"

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Note how Vulcan DNA forms an orderly queue.

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Oh God, he's doing 'Rocket Man' again! Beam him out of here!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Welcome, gentlemen. Your father is on the Bridge."

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Keep adjusting the matrix till he looks like Chris Pine.

 

[M'Sharak]

Odona: Green guy at the left kinda looks like Bug-Eyed Earl.
Kirk: Really? I was thinking one of the dudes from Devo, personally. Maybe it's just the outfit

Odona: Bible salesmen -- the planet's crammed to the rafters with them.
Kirk: Huh, that's...
[beat]
Kirk: Nah, couldn't be.

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "You'd think 23rd century Wii bowling pins would be arranged better than this."

Spock: "The bowling pins are arranged perfectly, doctor. Get me the biggest, heaviest ball you can find. Immediately."

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Why don't they pop up, doctor? I have Reger's stick ready for whacking purposes."

McCoy: "With their prolapsed anuses, they're spent. I'll have to prescribe 20cc's Cialis to get them up, Spock."