TOS Caption Contest #151: Early Bird Special

[scottydog]

McCoy: "What the heck? Her prices have doubled since yesterday!"

Spock: "You can blame Grignak the Coffee Asswipe. Let's just say his coffee cream... had gone bad."

 

[S'kai]

One of Kirk's first orders was the posting of bra sizes on the doors of all female quarters.

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[Yeoman Randi]

SHATMANDU WROTE:

Joe, i spit my coffee out when i got to this one!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

*checks gut*

Kirk: "Phew. For a second I thought someone would replace me with Fat Kirk from that blog."

Spock: "The contest is still young."

McCoy: "And you just put up a link."

Kirk: "Damn."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "Kirk to ensign Wah Chang ... Rand's plate is supposed to read 34C's."

Kirk: "Next one to say 'Jiffy Pop, Jiffy Pop', gets his ass handed to him."

Kirk: "Oh ... oh! You want The Omega Man ... I'm just a regular man. But if you got any lonely ladies over there, remember -- I'd hump a green alien, so..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives means slow death to the more valued members of the ship. Therefore I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your execution is so ordered. Signed, Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise." <reaches, pushes green button>

 

[Rat Boy]

Guy in window: "Could you let us in? It's cold out here."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: What's that guy in the back shouting? I can't quite make it out.

 

[scottydog]

Woman: "These are your sperm, magnified one billion times."

Kirk: "How can you tell they're mine?"

Woman: "They each have an IQ of a paper towel holder. Plus the tall one in the middle just finished his 3rd ham sandwich."

 

[MANT!]

Damn it to hell..Scotty told me he fixed my big screen...fuckin asshat..

 

[Tribble]

Spock award, love that...

Kirk: When they asked if I minded being watched, I didn't imagine this...

Kirk: This must be the new David Lynch movie. Weird stuff, I never get it...

 

[Tribble]

Janice Rand--defying the 47 conspiracy since 2200.

 

[Tribble]

Janice knew that Spock was the only one who could decipher hexadecimals, and that he couldn't resist boyish hips...

 

[Yeoman Randi]

McCoy was the only audience Kirk could attract on "Open Mike" night.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Kirk: "A thousand channels and there's still nothing decent to watch!!"

 

[johcomp]

Kirk: The Money's on the table. Bye for now.

Yeoman Skank: Yeah, bye........ NEXT!!

 

[johcomp]

Kirk: "A thousand channels and there's still nothing decent to watch!!"

Guys Outside: "A thousand channels and there's still nothing decent to watch!!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Guy up front: Do you believe in God?
Kirk: Even in space, the Jehovah's Witnesses find you.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk: "...and these are the preserved bodies of my women's previous boyfriends. As you can see, I've added your man Alex to the collection"