TOS Caption Contest #150: Cutbacks Are A Bitch

[Drob]

Name that tune:

Spock: "Why does it hurt when I pee? I don't want no doctor to stick no needle in me. Why does it hurt when I pee?"
McCoy: "Where do you think?"
Spock: "I got it from the toilet seat. It jumped right up and grabbed my meat. I got it from the toilet seat."
McCoy: "Any other symptoms?"
Spock: "My balls feel like a pair of maracas. Oh God, I probably got the Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus! My balls feel like a pair of maracas."

Pretty sure its:
Frank Zappa - Why does it hurt when I pee?

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Thanks to Scotty "Flashdance" was the only movie banned on all Federation starships.

 

[Tribble]

On some days, Scotty felt like Sisyphos when working in the engine room.

Kirk: Stop complaining, Bones, maybe you shouldn't have bitten me in that caption contest months ago.

 

[Shatmandu]

Everyone loved Scotty's playful vacation photos from Tit Rock, Montana.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "I could use this to nail Scotty to the cross."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scott (to Kirk): "Outta the way, ye borgas frat! If ye want to squish a Gorn, ye got to do it right!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Word to the wise: when they remove yours, don't ask to take your prostate home ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Pretty sure its:
Frank Zappa - Why does it hurt when I pee?

Yep. Don Pardo, give that man an oddly-named kid.

Joe, united

 

[Captain Crow]

 

[Hambone]

SPOCK: "Now, if Mr. Sulu will kindly hold still while I insert the..."

REGER, thinking: I can't believe he took the whole thing!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "There's no right way to hit a woman, but there's plenty of right ways to hit a man."

Spock: "So I found the 'Spocker' in the Urban Dictionary."

McCoy: "Really? That's surprising."

Spock: "The real surprise is that Shatmandu didn't write it."

 

[Captain Crow]

Spock: Would you like some popcorn Doctor?

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Bones, whatever you do, don't dive face-first into that popcorn. Double-dick has serrated edges."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Amanda said I was conceived in love. Is that true?"

McCoy: "In a pig's eye."

Spock: "I was conceived in a pig's eye?"

McCoy: "Shut up, Spock."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: What the fuck! All I said was: My anus pain was conceived in love by Spock.

McCoy, off screen: The crew did say if you made another "anus" or "was conceived in love" joke they would beat the shit out of you.

 

[Rat Boy]

Reger: "The anus and conception jokes...they're migrating up from the Movies Caption Contest."

Spock: "Says the guy who magically appears months after the caption contest you were in ended."

 

[milo bloom]

"Now is the time on Spockets when we dance."