TOS Caption Contest #150: Cutbacks Are A Bitch

[Hambone]

McCOY: I'm the doctor and you are my patient. What would you like to do?

SPOCK: I dunno...play chess...screw...

McCOY: Well, let's play chess!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Mental note: Never try to motorboat a six foot tall lesbian amazon with big knockers."

Or...

Kirk: "I had snu-snu."

Kirk (off camera): "Okay, people, the Thriller tributes are getting a little out of hand."

Reverend Spock hated getting lectured about the altar boys.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "While checking my prostates, please refrain from shouting 'BOOYAH!' over and over."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Quit your whining!

Don't be such a martyr!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Spock: Doctor, please refrain from calling it a beanie. It is a yarmulke.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "One is and one isn't?"
Spock: "I'm half-Jewish."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Crew members were most grateful when they finally because unionized as it put an end to the Engineering crucifictions so popular in the days of yore.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: "Mental note: Never try to motorboat a six foot tall lesbian amazon with big knockers."

Or...

Kirk: "I had snu-snu."

Kirk: If a gigantic, amazonian alien woman ask you to snu-snu, you say, "no."

Beat ya to it... or did Captain Crow beat us all to it.

 

[Shatmandu]

Shatner: "Your FUCKING bike is in the FUCKING rafters. Jeez."

 

[seigezunt]

 

[Shatmandu]

^^^ I paid money to see that movie in the theater. The things a young man will do for tail ...

Sulu: "You're going to have to do better than that."

 

[seigezunt]

 

[T'Girl]

What gets me about this shot isn't Scotty hanging on for dear life, it's the guy in the red engineering coveralls to the left just casually standing there.

 

[Shatmandu]

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Crewman; "Scotty, we get it, the wind's blowing soooo hard in here. Now can you give me a hand with these crystals?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

^Reminded me a SNL skit "Plato's Cave"

I am a leaf! Tawssed in the wind! Oh, thou wind! Blow! Blow! Blow me away! The first demand of ontological empiricism is to find yawself! Depression! Down! Down! Down! [sinks to the floor] Knife! Blood! Bleed! Black! Black! Black! Blow! Death.Life. I dance like the wind. The wind!

 

[Tribble]

Damn, while I was waiting till I was able to upload something on imageshack, several people have already made the Thriller jokes... Anyhow:

Scotty's moonwalk left a lot to be desired.

Spock: Doctor, you should know that the ship's climate is to cold for me to do jumping jacks in the nude.

That sound you hear? Thousands of fangirls drooling at the sight of Spock in tight black clothes.

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "Doctor, I wish to thank you. Your mouth-to-mouth resuscitation saved my life. And I appreciate your eating chocolate prior to performing it."

McCoy: "Umm, Spock, it wasn't mouth-to-mouth. It was ass-to-mouth."

<pause>

Spock: "Shit."

McCoy: "Exactly."

 

[Isis]

McCoy (OS): "Jim, I didn't mean that kind of cougar."

Spock: "Great job, doctor. You've aligned the front of my head with the back of my body. Who do you think I am--Linda Blair?"

 

[Isis]

Spock: "Doctor, I know we're running low on hospital gowns, but did you have to put me in a hand-me-down from Morticia Addams?"