TOS Caption Contest #150: Cutbacks Are A Bitch

[John Picard]

McCoy: "Sorry, Spock. Going Emo just doesn't fit you."

Spock: "Indeed, Doctor."

 

[Shatmandu]

^^^ I honestly did forget to give you a win for the toilet. :')

And I'll be struck by lightning for this one:

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

^^^ I honestly did forget to give you a win for the toilet. :')

And I'll be struck by lightning for this one:

"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!"

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "Why are you Mr. Scott's executioner?"

Spock: "He ate Captain Kirk's danish."

McCoy: "But he's done that a million times. Why now?"

Spock: "It is only a matter of time before Mr. Scott's weight precludes a proper crucifixion."

Scotty: "I'M SLIPPING OFF. THIS THING NEEDS MORE POWER!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Word of advice: don't say no to a fan dance."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: If a gigantic, amazonian alien woman ask you to snu-snu, you say, "no."

The Last Temptation of Scotty

The Passion of the Scot

 

[John Picard]

Scotty: ".... Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life..."
​

 

[Shatmandu]

Shatner: "Fine, Doohan, keep your lines. Jeez, I'm just trying to make the show better ..."

Roman Soldier: "I'm just glad he's not wearing the kilt."

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Before the next mind meld, Mr. Spock, please trim your fingernails."

McCoy: "Okay, Spock, you are medically cleared to serve as the ship's Chimney Sweep."

Spock: "Doctor, are you sure the ship has a chimney?"

McCoy: "Is the Pope Catholic? Now get your green ass out the nearest airlock and start scrubbing."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "I did not say 'Turn your head and fart.'"
Spock: "Indeed."

Scotty: "Ye''ll need a spanner to get me right leg secured. <soldier does so> Aye, good lad ..."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Is it true?
Spock: Is the space pope reptilian? Yes it's true--once you go black, there ain't no coming back.

McCoy: Say "ah".
Spock: Ah.
McCoy: Wrong hole.

McCoy: Drop your trousers and call me Shirley.

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "What is Mr. Scott's location?"
McCoy: "Oh, he's hangin' around ..."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: "What is Mr. Scott's location?"
McCoy: "Oh, he's hangin' around ..."

Spock: "Is he angry?"
McCoy: "Yes, he's cross."

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "The surgery was a success. You are no longer bifurcated."

Spock: "Excellent. Unification at last."

McCoy: "What? I added a dick. You are now trifurcated."

< pause >

Spock: "Shit."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Scott: "Why'd it hae to be California? It's nae the crucifixion, it's yon surfers passing by and yelling out 'How's it hanging, dude?' that hurts."

 

[Shatmandu]

Scott: "How many times do I have to tell you, the right tool for the right job! Ye dunna use yer helmet t'drive a foot nail, lad."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Scotty simply couldn't stop himself from doing "Thriller" every time he had engineering to himself.

 

[Mistral]

Chorus: "Day by day,...day by day...Oh, Dear Lord, these things I pray..."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Spock: "Please be gentle with me Doctor."

McCoy: "In a pig's eye!"

 

[Mistral]

^^^ I honestly did forget to give you a win for the toilet. :')

And I'll be struck by lightning for this one:

I swear, I didn't even see this(these) before I posted my caption.....It was just the first thing that popped into my head.