TOS Caption Contest #144: Hands-On Treatment
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
SPOCK: Gonna build a baseball diamond...right here.
LEILA: Whut!?
SPOCK: Voice said "build it and they will come".
LEILA: Ummm, Spock? Hun? That was your communicator. Your Captain wants you to go back to work.
SPOCK: Yes, a baseball diamond. Then I will go seek the one called Kinsella...
LEILA: *sigh*
McCoy: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WE'RE OUT OF COFFEE!!
Spock: I believe this belongs to Mr. Sulu.
Spock: Mother has one of these.
Spock: Can't a guy shit in a field without an audience?
Lelia: What are you doing, Spock?
Spock: I am attempting to locate Bilbo Baggins, the bravest little hobbit of them all. He's only three feet tall.
Kirk: "Look at this, Spock. Not even out of the turbolift and she's already warming her fingers. Is it any wonder I love her so?"
Spock: "Yes, Reger, I do recognize this device. You say you found it in your daughter's room? Well...I'm afraid the most logical explanation is that she has been spending a lot more time in the "Red Hour" than you thought..."
Leila: "So, it's been a long time. My gag reflex is better now ..."
Shaw, skankily: "You can keep the panties."
<door shuts>
Kirk: "And you can keep the syphilis."
McCoy: "JETHRO TULL DESERVED THE HEAVY METAL GRAMMY!"
Leila: "I can put a whole ear of corn in my mouth."
McCoy: "MY LUNCH WAS IN THE FRIDGE AND HAD MY NAME CLEARLY ON IT!"
McCoy: "BLESSED BE THE BODY AND ALL OF ITS PARTS!"
Spock: "Fascinating. Landru must be set to the 'Samuel L. Jackson' setting."
Spock: "What I wouldn't give for a radish right now."
Shaw: "'Bye now."
<door shuts, Kirk examines book>
Kirk: "Great, it's a collection of Spock's nude photography."
<throws book in trash>
Are you thinking about those Mount Pilot women again, Spock?
Spock: "Does it come in yellow/green?"
McCoy: "KEEP YER FUCKIN' PEANUT BUTTER OUTTA MY CHOCOLATE!"
Spock, to self: "No farm animals? Bet the Doctor is disappointed."
Leila: "Did you say something?"
Spock, back to inscrutable: "No, no ..."
Shaw: "Thanks for the humping."
Kirk, as door is almost closed: "Ifakedmyorgasm."
Spock: "Does this enforce the will of Landru?"
Reger: "Actually, that's the petrified wang of Landru."
Spock: "Cool. I got all my Christmas shopping done on one planet this year."
Shaw: "Bye. Glad you still like pegging."
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Shaw: "Bye. Glad you still like pegging."
McCoy: "I need to stop looking up the words Shatmandu uses on Urban Dictionary!"
Spock: "And so after he was run over by the steamroller, you rolled Obama up into this poster?"
Reger: "It'll be on my teenager daughter's bedroom wall tonight."
McCoy: "YOU.. AREN'T... THE ONLY ONE... WHO CAN... OVERACT...."
Spock: "Facinating. The rabbit who ate my carrots is indeed.... Rascally."
Shaw: "Oops, meant to go to engineering." <facepalm>
Spock: "So it is Landru's will that I pole vault while wearing a monk's robe. Most curious."
"That'll be fifty bucks, Captain."
Spock: "And so after you pulled this out of his ass, what did he say?"
Reger: "Ouch."
Spock: "And what do you say?"
Reger: "I'd wash my hands if I were you."
Shatner: It... was... the... Dukes. It... was... the... Dukes.
Kelley: You're a dead man, Valentine!
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McCoy: "I need to stop looking up the words Shatmandu uses on Urban Dictionary!"
Made my night with that one.
Joe, giggler