TOS Caption Contest #141: Pox Marks the Spot

[The Squire of Gothos]

McCoy: "Him? Keeps asking if we're in Pocatello yet"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Spock (filtered): Spock here. Go ahead.
Kirk: I've made a bowel movement. Inform the crew.

Kirk: Spock?
Spock (filtered): Spock here.
Kirk: I need you to retrieve the Captain's Log. I've left it in my cabin commode.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "She wears little eye-patch underwear. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And
 so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going 
up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"

Spock: "Jim, you do realize you're broadcasting that all over the ship?"

Explanation...

 

[Shatmandu]

To pay off his student loans, Kirk worked as an Intercom Sex Operator on weekends.

 

[scottydog]

Nimoy, off-camera, to lighting crew: "... a little to the right... that's it. Perfect shadowing."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, shipwide: "I said I would go naked until the person responsible for upper-decking my toilet stepped forward. Day thirty-three begins ..."

 

[Maurice]

SPOCK: Only half a cup? Don't you like my coffee?

BONES: 57 channels and nothin' on.

TRACEY: And then they came, and they came. We drained four of our phasers, and they still came. We killed thousands and they still came.
SPOCK: The Yangs?
McCOY: His "crotch crickets".

And Shatner had thought "The Naked Time" was a symbolic title...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Van Gelder: Scotty! It was Scotty who sold me the drugs!

 

[Sovay]

LMAO!! very nice! And so fitting

Kirk: "She wears little eye-patch underwear. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And
 so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going 
up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!"

Spock: "Jim, you do realize you're broadcasting that all over the ship?"

Explanation...

 

[Yeoman Randi]

^ omfg!

i was not familiar with that story. Not too embarrassing, eh?

 

[Shatmandu]

^ omfg!

i was not familiar with that story. Not too embarrassing, eh?

Yep. Another "family values" bleater leads the way.

Kirk, to Spock: "Hazing ritual initiated. New personnel orientation in Rec Room Three will be streaked."
Spock: "And you want this in the ship's log?"

 

[Alrik]

^ omfg!

i was not familiar with that story. Not too embarrassing, eh?

That's just freakin classic!

Way to go Rat Boy.

 

[Alrik]

Spock: "It appears, Doctor, that you have again forgotten the blindfold and ball gag."

 

[Nerys Myk]

VAN GELDER: You aint taking my kidney!!!!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

^ omfg!

i was not familiar with that story. Not too embarrassing, eh?

That's just freakin classic!

Way to go Rat Boy.

Shatmandu's not the only one who can drag a sex scandal into a caption contest!

 

[Shatmandu]

Van Gelder: "If you don't shut her up, I will. <Makes slapping motion with hand.> I told you I'd shut her up. <Eyes bug out.> If you don't shut her up, I will. <Makes slapping motion with hand.> I told you I'd shut her up ..."

 

[Mysterion]

VanGelder: I demand to speak with my HMO!!!

McCoy: Shut up! This ship is under a single-payer health care system!

Spock: Doctor, you're inept reference to 21st century political matters is most...

McCoy: Quiet, you!

 

[Rat Boy]

Van Gelder: "And keeps going on and on about places he names, money I name, otherwise bargain noooooooooo!"

McCoy: "He's obviously on shrooms."

 

[scottydog]

McCoy: "Remember a long time ago when I said that space was disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence?"

Van Gelder: "TURKEY VOMIT!" <eyes bug out>

McCoy, sighing: "I wish I had been right about the silence part."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Another one for the food synthesizer?

MCCOY: Yep.

VAN GELDER: You do realize,I can hear you!