TOS Caption Contest #141: Pox Marks the Spot
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Spock: Yes Doctor - he has figured it out - all he needs now is to find some naturally occuring glass, construct a primitive razor blade and find something that can be rolled into a tube.
Van Gelder: No! Don't ... need ..... anal ...... neutralizer....
McCoy: Well I hope you're happy Spock, you got your game result but at the cost of a man's mind...his mind!
Spock: I have never seen such a strong reaction in a human before, it is not logical.
Van Gelder: Please...please...no more...no more...no more "2 Klingons, 1 cup"...NO MORE!!!!
Van Gelder: "YOU CAN'T KEEP ME FROM THE TOWN HALL MEETING! OBAMA'S A MUSLIN SOCIALIST!" <eyes bug out>
Kirk: "An incredible fortune in cocaine ... and no hooker's boobs to snort it from ..."
Red the Cook: "I'll be back, Spock: it's taco night, and I've got to grind up one of these bums."
Spock: "Acknowledged."
Second guy in line: Hey, if I show you my dick will you show me yours?
Spock: A two for one deal is not logical.
After upgrading to Service Pack 3, things went downhill:
Spock: Lt Uhura, press the third button on the communication console, and hold it. Mr Sulu, hold that switch under the helm console. Mr Scott, press the red button on the Captain's chair. That should reboot the system.
Spock: Lt Uhura, press the third button on the communication console, and hold it. Mr Sulu, hold that switch under the helm console. Mr Scott, press the red button on the Captain's chair. That should reboot the system.
Van Gelder (Camera zooms for close-up): <eyes bug out>
McCoy and Spock snicker as camera pans out.
Van Gelder (Camera zooms for close-up): <eyes bug out>
McCoy and Spock snicker as camera pans out.
Van Gelder (Camera zooms for close-up): <eyes bug out>
McCoy: "That's enough playing with the camera controls Spock. If the climate controls change he might stay that way."
.
Van Gelder: My balls are itchy. Can one of you guys scratch them for me.
Van Gelder: My balls are itchy. Can one of you guys scratch them for me.
Spock (hitting intercom button) : Mr. Sulu, report to sickbay.
Van Gelder: You two clowns do know that waterboarding is torture!
Spock: No Dr. Van Gelder, it's enhanced interrogation.
Van Gelder: Torture I tell you!
McCoy: What if we elect Obama?
Van Gelder: Then it'll be okay
Spock: I fail to see the difference.
Van Gelder: Can't you both see, he like a god.
Spock: I warn you Dr.Van Gelder, people dressed in red don't last long on the Enterprise.
Spock: Jim, just hold the foam rock against your leg with one hand. That's what I did on Taurus II.
Homeless: But it's green.
Spock: That's Pohmeek soup, a tradional morning meal.
Homeless: But it's lunch time!
Spock: Why don't you bite this.
Homeless: But that's green too.
Spock: I've added a measuring cup of burbon to every bowl
Homeless: Now you're talking.
-- Sound of multiple scraping chairs behind homeless --
Homeless: It gets very cold at night.
Spock: Put on this red shirt, trust me on this show you'll get heated up fast.
McCoy: "Nobody sane likes Ugly Betty. That's the point, goldbrick."
And at the end of City On The Edge of Forever, have you ever wondered where Spock was going as he came out of that door?
Here's the cut scene:
Coot, to other Coot: "Some nut in the alley tried to get me to do nude jumping jacks for him ..."
Spock: "MCCOY!" <drops coffee pot, runs outside, encounters Kirk, Keeler, and McCoy>
Van Gelder: I'll tell you whatever you want know! Just stop playing that Miley Cyrus music!
Van Gelder: My balls are itchy. Can one of you guys scratch them for me.
Spock (hitting intercom button) : Mr. Sulu, report to sickbay.
Van Gelder: "NO! THEY'RE OKAY NOW." <eyes bug out>
Van Gelder: DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND!? IT'S A CANON VIOLATION! THE NEW MOVIE... IT'S A CANON VIOLATION!
McCoy: What in blazes is he talking about?
Spock: I do not know, doctor. I do not know.