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TOS Caption Contest #141: Pox Marks the Spot

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McCoy: Well, you wanted Obama's health care reform...
 
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Spock: "You were mistaken Doctor, it's not Uhura's birthday it's Sulu's."
McCoy: "Damnit Spock, I'm a doctor not a party organizer. Well, don't just sit there man, help me turn him over."
 
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Kirk: "Can you handle that, Spock? I'm in the middle of a bachelorette party, for that mousy broad who's marrying the stiff from Phaser Control."
 
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McCoy: You think an organization that has the resources like Starfleet has would be able to afford something OTHER than cheap Vizio crap.
 
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Scotty: Thank God we found ye. Dr. McCoy came back three minutes after you left, we've been looking for you for almost 20 years!
Old guy in bomber jacket: Who's that guy, looks like he'd eat everything you have.
Spock: Just ignore him, he's probably drunk.
 
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Van Gelder: "CHAPEL! NNNUUUUURRRRRSE CHHHHHHHHHAPELLLLLLLLLLLL!"
Spock: "Clearly insane."
McCoy: "Agreed."


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Scotty: "They got real trans-fats in this era, huh? Gimme-gimme."
 
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Spock: Two Adam & Eves on a shuttle and wreck 'em!


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Crewman near viewscreen: This seat sucks! What's happening now?


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Spock: I still say we should have added plomeek.
Van Gelder: Next sear me until I'm a light golden brown.
McCoy: Who's cooking this braciole anyway??


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This is the captain. Would whoever stole my swimming trunks from the sauna room please return them, or I'm taking this ship to Ceti Alpha V and dropping off all your asses. And I remind you all about shrinkage. That is all.
 
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Spock: "Stone knives and a side of bearskins, coming up."




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Kirk: "Is this snow?"
Spock, shaking head: "Friggin' dumbass."


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Van Gelder: "ENOUGH WITH THE ENEMAS!"




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Kirk: "Spock, if you know I'm using a Yeoman uterus as a speedbag, please don't interrupt me."
Spock: "But the Klingons have ..."
Kirk: "Kirk out."



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Spock: "Anyone ever heard of Jim Jones?"
Coot: "Who?"
Spock: "Nevermind. Drink up."
 
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Nimoy (to himself): "On second thought, maybe that Lost in Space gig wouldn't have been so bad."


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"Damn, not Land of the Giants again."


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"Scotty, this is one of the strangest creatures I've ever seen. It hardly touches you and your clothes completely disintegrate. I'll need backup--send a contingent of female crew members on the double."
 
Shatmandu said:
**** Note: If you want to test your wife's stress-level, be in the middle of a google search for "Porky's" images when she comes in to say goodnight.****
Click to expand...
If I end up on the couch, I'm blaming you


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McCoy: You Know, she sort of looks like your cousin Valeris

Spock: Not amusing doctor

~3 minutes later into the film~

Scotty: Aye, she does look like your cousin, even has the same birthmark

Spock: Mr Scott I do not...wait, how the hell would you know?

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Hobo: So I have this idea for a movie, it's about a giant spaceship with a mixed race crew that is goes out and peacefully explores space. I call it Star Quest, what ya' think?

Spock: That's nice Mr. Roddenberry, now please move down the line so I can serve the other people...~to himself~ Crazy old bastard.
 
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