TOS Caption Contest #141: Pox Marks the Spot
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Van Gelder: "AW, C'MON: I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER OUR SAFETY WORD."
McCoy: "Nice try, Binkie. <to intercom:> Chapel, activate the gynocology stirrups, bed three ..."
Kirk: "But Casual Fridays are good for morale."
Admiral Plotpoint: "There've been 427 complaints out of 428 crewmembers ..."
Kirk: Bones, I've just been in the sonic shower and discovered wads of hair falling outta my head.
Bones (filtered): Not to worry, Jim. We may not have cured baldness but we sure as hell got you covered. I'll tell cosmetics to prepare you a Burt Reynolds.
Kirk: How 'bout the Shatner 2000 instead?
Every minute the Captain was not around, the crew followed the updates of The all-inclusive "Sexiest Trek character" poll on TrekBBS with anxiety. It was less the fear of having Kirk find out that they surfed the internet while on duty but more the fear of what might happen if he found out that Spock was way ahead of him that kept them from showing him the poll.
Kirk: Everything allright on the bridge?
Uhura (overly professional, everytone else on the bridge pretending to be busy): Everything alright, sir.
Kirk: Fine, I'm going back to work on the sexiest body in the universe.
(Repressed laughter on the bridge)
Spock, to himself: And even with this outfit, I will still be sexier than Kirk.
Bum: Did you wash your hands?
Spock: I always wash my hands after a cavity check.
Other cook: <shifts uncomfortably>
Uhura: Did he just walk into a spiderweb?
Spock: <sighs> Negative.
Van Gelder: All I said was I hope there weren't any terrorists on this flight!
Spock: It's just a random check, sir.
McCoy: Anal probe is ready.
Kirk to Spock, there's a cat in my ceiling.
Coot: "I want a vente Mocha with one shot, iced, caramel sauce on the top and bottom, no whip, light on the ice, and two pumps of peppermint syrup."
Spock, without looking up: "One serving of brown water in a dirty cup, coming right up."
Uhura: "How many times has he jerked off since he's been there?"
All, in unison: "Four."
Van Gelder: "BUT YOU GUYS AREN'T IN MY HMO." <eyes bug>
Kirk to Spock: "Put Uhura up for promotion, and tell Dr. McCoy I'll be by for my injections in a moment."
Spock, sighing: "Affirmative."
Coot: "But don't I get any bread."
Spock: "Bread?! Three dollars!"
Sulu: "Hey, my stories are on. Can we watch this in the picture-in-picture?"
McCoy: "And to top it all off, he's on Medicare. I say we toss him out the airlock."
Kirk: "Bridge, this is the captain. Have all corridors on deck five cleared."
Uhura: "Is something wrong, Captain?"
Kirk: "I've shit my pants and I don't want anyone to see it."
OMG! A win????? FOR ME??????? w00t!!!!!
"Im not worthy!!!! Im not worthy!!!!!!"
THANKS JOE!!!!!
**screws on thinking cap for this week's contest**
"Im not worthy!!!! Im not worthy!!!!!!"
THANKS JOE!!!!!
**screws on thinking cap for this week's contest**
Coot: Can I have cream in my coffee?
[Spock turns around, beats one off in the cup, turns back around and hands it to him.]
Spock: NEXT!
[Coot looks at the cup and starts to walk off .]
Cook: At least you didn't ask for chocolate shavings.
