TOS Caption Contest #140: Scotty-Centric

[Sovay]

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Kirk: "Scotty. Do you forsee an end to those sideburns anytime soon?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Scotty's sister? Hell, no: she's five foot tall, three hundred pounds, and looks like a basketball with a marble on top."
<Turns.>

 

[Mistral]

Kirk: "I know you thought the kitten was cute but for the last time, I had no choice. We had to get the Gorn out of the cave, and we didn't have anything else to use for bait! What? Don't look at me like that!"

 

[Mistral]

Scotty, the winner of the crotch-kicking contest, received the magic Singing Rock as first prize.

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "I didn't find that tweet about me finger particularly funny, jackass."

Scotty couldn't work up the nerve to tell everyone that the Blarney Stone was an Irish thing.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Yer da only woman who really understands meh. *hic* I wuv you. *hic* No body loves me. No body understands the pressure I'm under. "More power!" *hic* That's all that tin-plated dictator with a tribble on his head says to me.
Kirk: Scotty, I'm right here. And that's not a woman.
Scotty: Ish not?!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Tonight on NatGeo, see the case of the Starfleet Siamese Twins, Jim and Monty.

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Mr Scott. How many times have I told you not to invade my personal space when I'm trying to take a leak. It gives 'little Jimmy' stage fright."

 

[cooleddie74]

Worst Pilates idea ever.

KIRK:"Not NOW, Scotty.

Wait until we're off-duty. Besides, the lotion's not here yet."

 

[cooleddie74]

It was both tragic and inescapable.

Joey the Boulder had no heartbeat.

He was dead.

 

[Triskelion]

Sweet! A win!

Last year's Santa? Was Mr Spock in a suit.
Say it ain't so Captain!
The lack of jollyness didn't give it away?

Chekov: I found it Keptin! I've found Meester Spock's Titleist.
Scotty: There's an afternoon well spent.

Spock: I'm gonna get that gopher.
Kirk: Tee hee!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, groaning: "Last frat party I go to ..."
Scotty: "They glued me head to this fuggin' rock."
Spock: "And they wrote the word 'BITCH' on my forehead in reverse, for when I looked in the mirror."
McCoy: "Ugh. I remember a beer bong, a fat girl, and a video camera."

 

[26138]

Scotty wins this year's "cuddle with a styrofoam rock" constest.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy (looking through microscope): Jim, looks like every cell of your body is infected with ego... yours.

 

[battrekker]

Kirk: "And I think that muppet that was with Mr. Scott in Delta Vega was probably his lover... He, he, he... Oh."

 

[Shatmandu]

The bad feelings on the set in Season 3 were caused by having to use the toilet after Shatner.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"The bloody rabbit...she...she DIED...didn't she?"

KIRK:"Sorry, Scotty. If Mira lives you're gonna have to pay child support."

KIRK:"I'm gettin' too bald and paunchy for this shit."

 

[Hambone]

SCOTTY: She canna take no more, Captain!

KIRK: That's not what your mother said. She's a screamer, that one.

SCOTTY: Oh, you're dead.

 

[cooleddie74]

When I find meself in times of trouble, Brother Jimmy comes to me...hamming lines of wisdom...

Let it Be.