TOS Caption Contest #140: Scotty-Centric

[S'kai]

"I wish Usul would monitor his own goddamn thumpers ! He been trying to call this worm for nearly two weeks now."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Don't give me the lip, Mr. Scott. Don't give me the lip. <sigh> All right, you can have a shot of scotch. But only one shot this time, okay?

 

[26138]

Doohan, Shatner, and Kelley wait in hiding to see what happens when Nimoy discovers his bike is missing...

 

[Nerys Myk]

SCOTTY: One man, one woman and three small children passed this way ten minutes ago.

SULU (off screen): Wow, you can tell that from placing your ear to the ground?

SCOTTY: No, they just ran over us with a wagon.

 

[Tribble]

Washing Machine Kirk is watching you masturbate.

Kirk: Don't look at me like that, Scotty! I mean, I know you have a thing for machinery, but it was a JOKE! I didn't really expect to see someone masturbating in front of a bloody waching machine!

 

[Shatmandu]

Shatner, yawning: "Did Harlan finish the script yet?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Scotty: "You used the last of the toilet paper!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Don't touch me unless you really mean it!
Scotty: Sorry, Jim. But you've just put on too much weight. I canna be with you no longer.

 

[cooleddie74]

Jim Kirk found out ALL too late...

Velour wasn't the ONLY thing to permanently shrink in the wash.

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Please, Hammer.

Don't bloody hurt 'EM."

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Mr Scott, please."

Scotty: "Why d'ye blame me?"

Kirk: "Because it sounded like a fog horn and smells of haggis and scotch. Worse yet, now poor Sulu's 'flag pole' is standing a full staff."

Scotty: "Aye, the call o' the virgin arse gets him e'ry time."

 

[Alrik]

Scotty: "Capt'n, ye said put down the bag pipes and try listenin to some rock. I dunna get it."

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Where the hell is Chekov? He's supposed to let me out of this damn thing."

Kirk: "Grab me like that one more time Mr Scott, and you'll lose that finger."

 

[Alrik]

CAROLYN:"What do you mean, 'was it good for you'? I didn't even realize you had started."

 

[Rat Boy]

Doohan: "Len's gonna kick your ass about that bike."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "But will you respect me in the morning?"

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "Don't chicken out, Mister. You're the one who suggested 'No Pants Day.' "

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Scotty: Sir, I dinna mean to alarm yah, but there's a tribble on your head.
Kirk: Mister Scott, you make one more crack about my hair... and you'll spend the last two years of this mission being the chief of waste recycling.

 

[T'Girl]

Ensign Pavel Chekov : ...you see I've never been with a woman before.

Drill Thrall Fredrick : Woman?

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty: "Sorry, Cap'n: I ate your danish."
Kirk: "Ah, did a 'four-finger discount', eh?"