TOS Caption Contest #137: The Red Hour

[Triskelion]

Uhura: Captain, alien vessel approaching on vector three one one mark seven.
Kirk: ...
Uhura: Captain?
Kirk: ...
Uhura: Oh fine. Alien wessel approaching on wector three vun vun mark sewen.
Sulu: Chekov shined my boots, too.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kirk: "I ... I don't understand -- there's no boobies."

McCoy: "Jim, for the last time -- that's not a girl."

Kirk: "I refuse to except that!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: Isn't some one suppose to swerve out of the way in chicke.....

Unscientific explosion noise in space

 

[Alrik]

KIRK:"So. He really does have a double dong after all."

Uhura: "Damn right he does."

Sulu: "I could so give that thing a go."

Uhura: "Hands off Bitch, he's mine."

Scotty: "Lucky for you lass, I've always been more of an ass, than a tits man."

 

[Shatmandu]

Uhura: "Maggie shot him? We waited all summer for that?"

Scotty: "Now that we've got my Engineering primae noctis out of the way, lets get you married, lass."

 

[Triskelion]

Uhura: Damn, Robin Williams looks like a mugato on crack.
Sulu: If I was that hairy I'd be on crack too.

Scotty: Now remember to come back every three thousand light years for a filter change.

 

[Shatmandu]

Scotty, whispering, leaning in for a kiss: "Now tonight, when you're having sex with him for the first time as a married couple, dun't neglect the prostate."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Incredible..."

UHURA:"It...it's BEAUTIFUL beyond words..."

SULU:"It's only a model!"

ANGELA:"I'm the happiest girl in Starfleet, Scotty!"

SCOTTY:"Apparently, ye haven't met Yeoman Rand after a wee visit to the Captain's quarters!"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"How can he be dead?!

The little red light in his hand hasn't started glowing yet!!"

 

[Gertch]

Uhura: "It's, it's - a fan dance. Let me see if I can get those moves down."
Sulu (thinking): "I wish Chekov was here..."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"These home movies gonna be over anytime soon, Mr. Sulu?

I don't know how much longer I can feign interest in your childhood trip to San Francisco's most famous glory holes."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK:I guess this ship was too exciting.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "That's what you get for hiding your Scotch in the janitor's closet, you drunk."

 

[Alrik]

Sulu. "Uhura, would you mind shifting possition....perhaps crossing your legs maybe? It's starting to smell like Fisherman's Wharf in here and its making me homesick."

 

[Alrik]

Kirk: "Bones, is he..."

McCoy: "..dead, Jim? No. He'll be just fine in time. But when he does recover, you'd better have a little talk with him. Spock caught him sniffing Uhura chair after she left the Bridge. That's what landed the poor guy here."

Kirk: "Idiot."

 

[LNJM906]

*Jizzed in his pants*