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TOS Caption Contest #137: The Red Hour

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WEDDING CRASHERS

The Next Generation





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McCOY:"It's serious, Jim.

Red Velour Poisoning. I don't think there's much I can do for him."
 
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Khan: Ah yes, Chekov, I never forget a face....

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Angela: And then my great-grandfather, Sir Johann Q. Von Snarfwoots III's invention of transparent aluminum, not only cemented our family's political empire but also prevented an interstellar war between four star kingdoms, as well as saved ten thousand intelligent lifeforms from extinction, including the most charming race of probe-making spacewhales.

Scotty: What's that lass? Oh look, there's punch in the rec hall.


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Guess you shouldn't have multiplied your resistance to space herpes by four.
 
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KIRK:"These Billy Mays pitch ads are TOO DAMN hyperactive.

Like the man's on cocaine or something..."

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ANGELA:"You're like an uncle to me."

SCOTTY:"And you're like the niece me Great Uncle Seamus always watched undress in the bathroom."

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KIRK:"Forget how HE'S doing, man!!!

Look at his shirt...those wrinkles along the bottom seam won't come out without a lotta ironing work!!!"
 
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Scotty: "Was it good for you?"
Angela: "Well, your constant farting kinda put me off ..."





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Uhura: "No, Captain, those tits are fake."




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Scotty: "Sorry about ripping your pillow, lass. Been a while ..."



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Scotty: "I plan on hitting your ovaries like a speedbag, ye Yank trollop."



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Angela: "Mind if I take a shower first?"
Scotty: "Well, I would have to move me V-8 piston engine out of the tub."
 
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Uhura: What a stupid design for a robot. How the hell is it suppose to grab or lift anything with ice tongs for hands and dryer hoses for arms? At least Robby had hands and could make booze.


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Kirk: I warned him not be in a tubolift with Spock when he has gas.


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Sulu: Hello Docy Pooh.


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McCoy: No not that! Anything but that! I'm beging you, please don't make me watch Nemesis!


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McCoy: NOT THE FOOT!
 
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KIRK: I'm no Doctor, but shouldn't one of us be giving him mouth to mouth?

CHAPEL: He had haggis for lunch.

KIRK: Call it.
 
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Uhura: A fan dance? Seriously? You'd do that to me in the future.

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Kirk: The lead singer for Hiroshima has a better voice than you, Uhura.
 
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STARFLEET ENTRANCE EXAM, QUESTION 32: Examine the photo above. Notice that the starship employs an asian driver and a female in charge of the map. In 1 million words or more, discuss everything that could possibly go wrong with this scenario.
 
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KIRK:"You CAN'T DIE ON ME!!!!

Dammit...you still owe me for last month's poker match!!!"
 
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First contact with the Strobe people of the Groovy Nebula went well, until everyone found out about Mr. Sulu's seizures.
 
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KIRK:"Transmit the following message on all frequencies and in all known languages:

Do you play bar mitzvahs?

OVER."
 
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SCOTTY:"What are the lot of ya starin' with gay sexual intent at ME for?!?"
 
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Kirk: "I don't understand. It looked like a typical gerbil."
McCoy: "Sure, except for the razor-sharp teeth!"


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Kirk: "Uhura, I don't understand how we ended up near the Neutral Zone. The Gamma Tauri system isn't anywhere close to here."
Uhura: "You don't like the way I navigate, you plot the course yo' own damn self!"


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Scotty: "So, ye say ye've never heard o' the shocker, then?"


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McCoy remembered that not all species keep their genitals in the same place. Unfortunately, he forgot that some keep their teeth in the same place as their genitals.
 
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