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TOS Caption Contest #129 - Time

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MCCOY: You better not have forgotten my jello Spock!!!!!!
 
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McCoy: "This has got to stop: I just sneezed a tiny Spock."
Kirk: "Oh yeah? Well, I accidentally cleaned my ears out with one. Beat that."
McCoy: "Last time I took a dump, and it had bits of red jumpsuit in it. Beat that."
Kirk: "I thought I had jock-itch, but it was a tiny Spock biting my left nut. Beat that."
McCoy: "I caught two of them having sex in my pillow case."
Kirk: "I found a dead one in my Coke can."
McCoy: "I saw ten of them wearing miner helmets heading into Sulu's quarters."
Kirk: "I got drunk and smoked one. When I lit his head, he screamed."
McCoy: "I found out I've been using one as an ointment applicator."
Kirk: "I fell in love with one and planned to leave Starfleet so we could be together."
McCoy: "I killed twelve with a beer fart."
Kirk: "I felt one in the toe of my boot while dressing, and I kept right on pushing."
McCoy: "I invited thousands to a party, then opened the shuttlebay doors."
Kirk: "I equipped a team of five with machetes and gave them a map to Uhura's crotch."
McCoy: "I dressed one up as Superman and one as Wonder Woman and one as The Invisible Man, and I forced them to reenact that old joke over and over."
Kirk: "I filled one with ink and used him as a stylus."
McCoy: "I played Jenga with them, and killed the losers."
Kirk: "One of them bit me, so I put him in a microwave."
McCoy: "I did that dandelion thing with one."
Kirk: "The what?"
McCoy: "The dandelion thing: 'Momma had a baby and it's head popped off!' <flicks thumb>"
Kirk: "Oh yeah, that. Pretty sick."
McCoy, sighing, looking down: "Yeah."
 
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Rooney: "And I think I've had just about enough of starship cafeterias. What are these colored blocks, anyway? Are they supposed to be some kind of synthesized nutrition masquerading as fruit? Well, I don't care for them. I've been plugged up for several days now. Even the captain can't get a bowel movement, despite downing a few bowls of high fiber black bean soup. If that really IS soup. You just never know on these so called starships. Next time I beam aboard, I'm bringing along a steamer trunk filled with food that won't cork my colon."
 
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Rooney: "And I think I've had just about enough of starship cafeterias. What are these colored blocks, anyway? Are they supposed to be some kind of synthesized nutrition masquerading as fruit? Well, I don't care for them. I've been plugged up for several days now. Even the captain can't get a bowel movement, despite downing a few bowls of high fiber black bean soup. If that really IS soup. You just never know on these so called starships. Next time I beam aboard, I'm bringing along a steamer trunk filled with food that won't cork my colon."

Kirk: "Oh, kill me now, God! All he does is talk and talk!!!"
 
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Tiny Spock on table, to Mego McCoy: "Here's something illogical: you have no genitals. <steals his phaser, beats him with it>"
 
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