TOS Caption Contest #127 - Very Strange New Worlds

[Triskelion]

Pizza midget's here Gene. We're ready to start filming.
Cue fluffer!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "What did the leper say to the prostitute?"
Alexander: "'Keep the tip.'"

Kirk: "'Crazy bread'? I asked for 'crazy head'."

Kirk: "I specifically asked that the driver have his penis sticking up through a hole in the box bottom."

 

[John Picard]

Kirk and Spock knew that somehow, the Nazis had to be defeated in order to bring and end to the caption contest. The question was how.

 

[Rat Boy]

Nazi: "I believe you Amerikaners have a saying about your attempt at escape, ja? 'Epic fail?'"

 

[Shatmandu]

Herr Flick: "I haff read the caption contest entries about you gentlemen. Gassing is too good for you."

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Haven't you ever heard of the Geneva Convention?"
Hanz: "I vas at that convention. You charged me 80 for zat signature!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Alexander: Change the f'king contest or I'll shank you, pretty boy.

 

[Cakes488]

Kirk: WOW! Domino's is really getting cheap with their breadsticks....first they send only one and on top of that it's so friggin small that it's barely a mouthful and last they have it wrapped up in some smelly toga like napkin....?
*few seconds pass and our hero comes to the awful realization that*
OH MY GOD THAT WASN'T A BREADSTICK!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Put down the knife or lose your Mudd Club status, you little shitstain."

 

[cooleddie74]

"This contest over yet, Herr Commandant?

Spock and I have to piss like racehorses."

 

[cooleddie74]

"That's the Ronco Slice-a-thon 5000...isn't it?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Outpost Vier: "Every moment I refuse to change the contest out is deliciously painful for you, isn't it? I can feeeeeeeeeeel it ..."

 

[Michael]

 

[Outpost4]

Shatner: The contest been up for only a frickin' 7 days, you dink.

Dunn: Who are you calling a dink?
Shatner: I'm calling you a dink, you dink.
Dunn: Stop it. I resemble that remark.
Shatner: Dink.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm recording a kids record in my living room right now. Last night I had five bopping, screaming girls running around, dancing to a rough mix of a song they'd just sung on. My nerves are still shot. I'll get to changing this contest over the weekend. We record our last tracks today.

 

[Cakes488]

Shatner: The contest been up for only a frickin' 7 days, you dink.

Dunn: Who are you calling a dink?
Shatner: I'm calling you a dink, you dink.
Dunn: Stop it. I resemble that remark.
Shatner: Dink.


Kirk: Good Lord has it been 7 days already? Time just flies when your standing here motionless for a week....AND I absolutely need to take a wicked leak in that urn over there...Alexander will you be my piss boy? Ah yes it's good to be the king!

 

[Rat Boy]

Nazi: "And ve have vays of...vhat is that, vhat are you doing?!"

Spock: "The titillation is having no effect."

Kirk: "Let's just kick his ass and get it over with."

 

[Shatmandu]

Herr Flick: "The reason for the delay in the contest switchover?"
<Kirk raises eyes.>
Herr Flick: "Outpost4 is busy in the other room, schtuping the Gunter twins as the men clap and cheer."

 

[John Picard]

Nazi: "Vun uff you vass peet-chink, und vun vass cat-chink!"

Kirk: *mumble* "Catching".

 

[Rat Boy]

Nazi: "Yes, you will do nicely for the Chippendale's performance for der Fuhrer."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"I was told there'd be antipasto."