TOS Caption Contest #127 - Very Strange New Worlds

[scottydog]

Kirk: "Are you the little bastard who shit green diarrhea on my toupe?"

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Just cut off about that much so it doesn't stick out from my toga every time I adjust my twigs.

You vill commence ze bathhousing!

Kirk: I know...you say you're gonna show me how to cut the wet leather leggings off a kicking princess. But you're just gonna shove that thing up my bunghole the minute my back is turned, aren't ya!

Kirk: Nobody's gonna believe Sophocles wrote Godzilla vs Megalon!

Now see here, just which twig & berries are you referring to?

 

[cooleddie74]

"That's it.

No more kegger for YOU, Bluto. You've even shrank from the excess drinking!!"

SPOCK:"Are you sure this isn't the time for an anti-Zeonite metaphor?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"NO.

Go back to the whip. It feels nicer on my thighs."

 

[cooleddie74]

METAMORPH PANTHER

60% of the time...it works EVERY time.

 

[Shatmandu]

Alexander: "Parmen, I'll take this one."

Herr Flick: "One of you will die. One of you will be my Eva Braun."
Kirk: "I'm a terrific cook. And I know my way around a penis."

Kirk: "We don't have any little people on board, but I've got a helmsman who'll just die over you."

Kirk: "But the nude jumping jacks are a required part of the physical."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Point taken.

Note to self: more lube and leather swings for next theme party."

KIRK:"Do I earn any brownie points if I say I've always been a fan of Oktoberfest?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Fine. I'll hand over the pictures of me with my balls on your forehead while you napped. Lighten up."

 

[cooleddie74]

"I'm Alexander of Platonius!"

"And I'm James T. Kirk!"

TOGETHER:"Welcome to JACKASS! This is the Toga Party Prank!!"

 

[DrBob]

Kirk: "Fancy a game of lawn darts?"

 

[highlander]

Spock: "We are not the homosexuals you are looking for."
Nazi: "These are not the homosexuals we are looking for."
Spock: "Move along."
Nazi: "Move along."

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "You have to be this tall to ride James T Kirk fella."

 

[highlander]

The latest creation from the house of Sulu

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "Hey...you're not Bethany Horowitz!"*


*You know the name if you watch Boston Legal.

 

[M'Sharak]

Kirk was suddenly struck by the incongruity of the major's Mickey
Mouse belt buckle. That couldn't possibly be regulation... could it?

 

[Zachary Smith]

Shatner: Hey, Little Kid! Pull my finger!

Dunn: God DAMNIT, Shatner! That's the third time today you'd tried to pull that shit with me! I'm NOT a little kid! I'm Michael DUNN--this week's guest star! Don't you pay attention to ANYTHING but yourself?

Shatner: That's quite a potty mouth you have there, youngster!

 

[Gary7]

"Alright you two. Next time I catch you both showering together, it'll be the brig for a week!"

"No, you're not holding it right. If you're going to commit hari-kari, you've got to point it to TOWARD yourself, not away."

"Yes, I've decided to forgo being king... I'd rather be queen!!"

 

[Gary7]

"What did I just hear? I have poor taste in attire? I am Lord Garth, master of the universe, setter of fashion trends! Nobody dresses like me, NOBODY!!"

 

[Piper]

Kirk wondered if the officer realised his fly was open.

A rare still from the never-aired Star Trek/Twin Peaks crossover episode.

Later on that night he suddenly felt silly when he realised he'd put on odd-coloured boots.

 

[Maurice]

NAZI: Talk or we'll plant the chia chest on you, too, sweaty boy.

KIRK: No, I'm not. And my pointed eared friend isn't this Artimus Gordon person, either, Mr. Lovelace.

GARTH: Check out my different colored boots! They're groovy!
MARTA: If he thinks I'll wear mismatched shoes, he's crazy!