TOS Caption Contest #127 - Very Strange New Worlds
- Thread starter Outpost4
- Start date
KIRK:"I got it!
You...you're the dancing hitman in RESERVOIR DOGS!
I hate charades with aliens."
KIRK:"You like movies about...about gladiators?"
Kirk: "You hurt me with that, I'll put my foot so far up your ass, your breath'll smell like toejam."
Kirk: "It's not my fault you can't get that 'Maiden Wine' song out of your head, you hood-ornament-looking little shit. Go stab Spock."
Kirk, giggling: "Aw, c'mon, put it down. I've won fights against things big enough to use you as a suppository."
Alexander: "I paid my money, I want my blowjob."
KIRK:"Why do I get the feeling Chris Pine isn't going to have to put up with this shit?"
SS OFFICER:"Are you ready to talk, Zeon?"
KIRK:"I'm afraid I'm not fluent in Zeon.
But I can recite dirty limericks in Esperanto if you like?"
No matter how hard he tried, Kirk just couldn't think of the lyrics to "Deutschland Uber Alles". Not with that damned Eee Pleb Nista stuck in his head again. Stupid parallel worlds anyway . . .
"Ladies and Gentlemen!! How about a BIG round of applause for tonight's very special GUEST STAR: Lord GARTH!! Along with the SOLID GOLD DANCERS!!"
"Kirk . . . Jim KIRK. how many times do I have to tell you? I don't know anyone named "West" . . . "
KIRK:"After all this, we'd BETTER be getting a complimentary set of bath towels from this place."
"Like the silver boot, ladies?
OTHER things on my person come in two different colors, too...if you play your cards right."
"OKAY!
ENOUGH!
I'll tell you where Robert Conrad's sportscar is parked."
"Colonel Klink sez you fellows tried to trick Sergeant Schulz vit a fake radio...
You vill find your frequency no longer picks up MERCY!"
Herr Flick to Spock: "Ze Fallen Madonna wiz ze big boobies, waz zis man ze model?"
Dammit, I fly all the way to Liverpool to find inspiration, then someone takes it from me on page 1.
Goddamned Nazi; Ze fallen Madonna wit ze fallen boobies?
Kirk; Uhura.
GN; Unt Lieutenant Gruber and his leetle tank?
Spock; Lieutenant Sulu.
GN; Michelle the waitress?
Everyone; Yeoman Rand.
GN; Schweinhunts! You have preempted a decade of British television viewing, to the Eastern front!
Kirk: "First: I don't have a wallet, and second: aren't you ADORABLE!!!."
Officer: "Unfortunately I regret we had to execute your helsmen; he was wearing his shirt. Just his shirt."
Kirk: "The nude jumping jacks I could take, but the next time McCoy says it'll just be a little prick, I'll kick his ass."
Spock: "We are not resistance fighters, we're just travellers, the people you are looking for have long since vanished."
Nazi: "Vat is zis freak trying to say?"
Spock: "Ve are not resistance, ve are just ze travellers, alzough, I have my suspicions about ze fat man in ze vig."
Kirk: "I didn't know you spoke German, Spock."
Spock: "It's a talent."
Poor bastard's too crazy to remember how to flash people.
Kirk: "Ahh, no. There will be *NO* circumcising me today."
Sgt Schultz notices *something different* about LeBeau but can't quite figure out what it is.