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TOS Caption Contest #125 - 5 Day Work Week

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HANSON:"Why didn't you assholes TELL ME the recipe called for only ten minutes' cooking and not TWENTY?"
 
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Hanson: "You couldn't get here any faster, Enterprise? My pecker looks like a piece of jerky because you dilly-dallied, you know ..."


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Sulu, with a start: "Ambassador Looseanus, I had no idea you were coming to visit."
 
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UHURA: Brilliant move Sulu. Steve the orderly and Bob the janitor at helm and navigation!
 
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Kirk: "Sand art. Every time I go to one of these festivals I blow my money on sand art. And as soon as I get back one of you fuckers spills it!"
 
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Obi-wan (off screen): You were the chosen one! It was said you would destroy the Sith, not join them!
 
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Sulu finally understands the need for a "Mature" rating on the box when the Night-shift crew shows him what happens to hookers in the "Grand Theft Enterprise" game.

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Kirk: I want ANSWERS, Mister. What's going ON here? Tuesday afternoons are ALWAYS finger-painting in the Rec-room. ALWAYS!

McCoy: It's Wednesday, Jim--

Kirk: TUESDAY afternoons, in the rec-room. Finger-painting. I want ANSWERS!

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"Kirk? Captain--WHO? I don't GIVE a good goddamn! You kids get the HELL off of my lawn!!"
 
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Do you have some salve I could borrow? Some balm, perhaps? Perchance an ointment or liniment? Sprig of aloe?
 
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Uhura: What is that smell?
Sulu: Oh bull I sat on the captains log!
Helm and Navigation (together):I had nothing to do with it!


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Uhura: Captain I'm not smoking that bong in front of me, especially not through that blue water!
McCcoy: Perhaps this hosed one, in front of me will do Uhura?
Kirk: No, no! YOU must combine the two bongs to defeat whatever it is we're against!
Scotty: oh bloody CRAP!


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Hanson: Jim.....(gurgle...gurgle.....gurgle) Stick to command NOT chemistry!
 
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