TOS Caption Contest #122 - Into the Arena

[SeerSGB]

Ensign Ricky didn't get the memo, that only the Human-form Cylons were capable of mating with a human. The Centurions...not so much.

 

[Triskelion]

Metron: Why, yes, I use the men's locker room. How did you know?

 

[cooleddie74]

Human - Plasma Conduit Love


Banned on 47 worlds for good reason.

 

[cooleddie74]

METRON:"I'm flattered, Captain.

Who is this...Tea Leoni?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"So...Hammer Time involves delivering pizzas in bad neighborhoods?

Makes sense now."

 

[Gertch]

"Your solution was interesting for a lower species but it needed more cowbell."

 

[Rat Boy]

By the 23rd Century, Federation Idol found more creative ways to punish the more horrendous rejects.

Kirk (thinking): I wonder if that cannon has enough for another shot to take this prick out.

 

[Maurice]

METRON: I'm here because you DO believe in fairies!

"That smarts" didn't begin to describe Ensign Deadmeat's thought at that moment.

Some Cylon's spines glow red when they orgasm, others...

 

[M'Sharak]

"Nineteen bucks - what?!?! Your pizza isn't even that good!"
"Okayokay, homessss -- chill out. Make it twelve-fitty, but you gotssss
ta give me a good tip. And don't you tell nobody, nahmssssayin'?"

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "I see you're gangsta. I'm pretty gangsta myself."
Al Gorn: "Bitch pleassssssssse!!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Al: "Ourssss is a franchissse. We don't acccept corporate couponsss."

 

[Shatmandu]

Al: "If you lisssten to me freessstyle, I'll give you my employee disscount."

 

[Outpost4]

Al: One sulfer, potassium nitrate and carbon pizza with extra diamonds. That will be $14.95.

 

[Gertch]

Al: "Why, yes, I'm not wearing underwear. How did you know?"

 

[Triskelion]

Sorry dude. I went to the Vasquez de Coronado overhang.

Captain's Log Supplemental: New orders. From now on no away team member is to try the local hot pockets. Ensign Wally's death was merciful end to the explosive diarrhea.

 

[Shatmandu]

OutpostGorn: "I'll change the contessst when I change the contessst, asssswipe."

Gorn Captain: "Fart joke."
Kirk: "Dick joke."
Gorn Captain: "Ass joke."
Kirk: "Homosexual joke."
Gorn Captain: "You-fucked-my-sister joke."
Kirk: "I-fucked-your-sister joke."
Gorn Captain: "Photoshop."
Kirk: "Scotty-is-fat joke."
Gorn Captain: "Uhura-is-a-tramp joke."
Kirk: "Sulu is gay joke."
Gorn Captain: "Bifurcated joke."
Kirk: "Venereal disease joke."
Gorn Captain: "Assless-chap Picard."
Kirk: "Gerbils-up-the-ass joke."
Gorn Captain: "Pull-my-finger joke."
Kirk: "Nude-jumping-jacks joke."
Gorn Captain: "Grignak reference."
Kirk: "Running Spock reference."
Gorn Captain: "Uh, hmm. Balok puppet photoshop?"
Kirk: "Nah. We don't see many of those anymore."
Gorn Captain: "True. How about 'Rand-is-a-slut joke.'"
Kirk: "Yeah, that's good."
Gorn Captain: "Cool."
Kirk: "Is it my turn?"
Gorn Captain: "Your turn."
Kirk: "Oh, yeah. Shit. Hmm. Did we say 'dick joke' already?"
Gorn Captain: "Yep."
Kirk: "Hmm ..."

 

[Tan Ru]

Taking the term "Red Shirt" to its logical conclusion. . ."

 

[Shatmandu]

And Kirk said, "Thank God you're here, Mary Sue! You're just the hermaphrodite we need!"

*End Chapter Seven of Star Trek: We'd All Die Without Carl, voted best Trek fanfic of 2008 by Carl's newsletter readers*

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorn: "Zed? Maynard here. Looks like the spider has caught himself a fly."

 

[Gertch]

Metron: "Relax everyone. He's cool."