TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christmas

[Outpost4]

I don't know why I'm changing out this contest at 9 PM at night. I could have easily done it between noon and 3 PM this afternoon. God knows I wasn't doing anything important, like listening to the Packers blow a game the fourth week in a row. I just keep telling myself it could be worse. Forest Gregg could be our coach.

First off, one of this week's winners allows me to correct an oversight that has existed for weeks. Scottydog has long deserved to be in the Mudd Club. He's one of the most consistent winners here, as evidenced by his 18th win this week. His humor is hard to categorize. Sometimes dry, often bawdy, and occasionally outrageous. Let's just call Scottydog damn funny. That covers it. I look at it this way. The Mudd Club now has its Court Jester. Congratulations, Scottydog.

Other winners this week include the second win for goldbug, the third for middyseafort and highlander winning for the second week in a row. Highlander's is a special cross picture award, tying both pictures together with one caption. Good work, all three of you.

Kirk: "This is one sheet of Klingon toilet paper?"

Kor: "It would be dishonorable to have anything less than explosive bowels."

My God.. Dr Wallace, if it has this effect on tinfoil,what do you think it'll have on Captain Kirk?

Spock: Please, Mr. Sulu, not in front of the Klingons.

Wallace: "I found this outside of Lift 7. I asked Sulu and Spock what it was but they were........evasive."

This next week we have Spock giving McCoy the once over. Kirk barraged by kids and a bonus pick, courtesy of Trekcore, of Kirk and Spock reading Mad Magazine.

Next week the Packers try to make it five in a row.


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa (2x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (18x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (10x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (5x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug

Plus one this time for a total of 2!
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (4x)

Plus one this time for a total of 5!
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard (2x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (2x)

Plus one this time for a total of 3!
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (21x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (15x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (30x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (17x)

Plus one this time for a total of 18!
Sector 7
Shatmandu (19x)

Sir Rhosis (2x)
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (13x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (10x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Spock: Doctor, if I put my ear up to yours, might I hear the ocean?

Kirk: Now children, Santa just had to go to the little elves' room and will be back in a second for all of your Christmas wishes.

Kirk: What, me worry?

 

[Outpost4]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Spock: I told the captain this atlas was useless and we were lost, and still he found his way back to Vasquez Rocks. That's why he's the captain!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

Thanks for the win! And congrats to all the winners.

McCoy: What do you think?
Spock: That the barber didn't even out your sideburns.

Captain Kirk finally meets all of his illegitimate children.

 

[highlander]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

The annual "Jim's Kids" telethon went horribly wrong.

 

[highlander]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

Spock: "There's no way that's your natural hair color."

 

[MANT!]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

Punks..in MY Day..I beamed to and from school, up hill, BOTH WAYS...

 

[highlander]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

Kirk: "All right everybody...5,6,7,8,...It's a hard knock life for us..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

SPOCK (thinking): Idiot

MCCOY (thinking): Moron

MIRI: Calm down there's enough meat here for everyone!

 

[26138]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

McCoy stares in disbelief... he'll never wait in line to use the toilet after Spock because apparently Vulcan explosive diarrhea isn't a myth after all.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

SPOCK:A pledge pin! On your uniform?

 

[Maurice]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Only his hairdresser knows for sure!

Star Trek: Beyond Thunderdome

Sadly, the cover of MAD was prophetic about the 3rd season scripts...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Nimoy: I can't believe it; he's counting how many lines Kirk has in this parody.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Nimoy: "Don't play innocent with me De, it's written all over your face. He roped you into it. Bill is recruiting for his little backstabbing, attention grabbing ploys now...


Where the fuck is my bike!?!"

"How's this for a foolie, we dismantle Nimoy's bike, and you wear bits of it as part of your costumes. Kim can wear the chain as a necklace. Where is she anyway?"

"In therapy."

Nimoy: "What's my bike doing on page 12 of Mad Magazine? Being thrown out of a DC3 over Laos?"

 

[Outpost4]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Spock: Doctor, there is nothing more pathetic than an older man wearing an earring.

 

[Outpost4]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Kirk: Can you tell me how to get to Seseme Street?

 

[scottydog]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Spock: "Fascinating. When I look in one ear, I see..."

McCoy: "...out the other?"

Spock: "Negative. I see an alarming build-up of ear wax."

 

[scottydog]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

McCoy: "Dammit, Spock, why do you always get to play Sargent Carter while I'm stuck playing Gomer Pyle?"

Spock: "Doctor, please indulge me. On Vulcan, Sargent Carter is highly revered for his impeccable logic."

Shatner enjoyed his frequent visits to the Neverland Ranch.

 

[johcomp]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Children Means It Must Be Christm

SPOCK: Hmmmmm. Security, take Dartagnion here to my quarters!

 

[Shatmandu]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #118 - Angry Kids Means It Must Be Christmas

Spock, whispering: "I'm going to drop this whole 'I'm such a Vulcan' pretense for a second and just say that if I ever really felt like bothering, I could snap your goddamned neck in an instant."
McCoy, trying to play it off: "Why, Spock, I do believe ..."
<Spock makes quick motion toward McCoy, McCoy flinches, Spock smiles and walks off.>
Spock: "Believe it, bitch."

Kirk: "We're going to help you all ... except for that ugly little shit in the purple blouse and the buck teeth and the big ears and the 'BONK BONK!" Fuck that little asswipe."
Kids, chanting: "He can go to Hell! He can go to Hell! He can go to Hell! He can go to Hell! He can go to Hell! ..."

Spock: "Lt. Reilly tells me you think he does the best nude jumping jacks out of the entire crew."
McCoy: "Well, I, uh ..."
Spock: "Sounds just like what you told me last week ..."