TOS Caption Contest #104 - This Time, Blue Shirts Die

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Sorry, Pavel. No one is ever going to mistake you for Kareem Abdul Jabar."

 

[Shatmandu]

Chekov: "Scotty published a technical paper about my combover."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "You'd better tell the captain we've got to land as soon as we can, this woman has to be gotten to a hospital."

Boma: "A hospital! What is it?"

Spock: "It's a big building with patients and doctors and nurses but that's not important right now."

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: Pavel, what can you make out of this?
Chekov: This? Why, I can make a hat or a church or a pterodactyl...

 

[Classic Fan]

Sulu: "Pavel, do you like movies about Gladiators"

Sulu: "You ever been on a Starship bridge before? Pavel: "No sir, I've never been up in a Starship before.
Sulu: You ever seen a grown Asian man naked?

 

[Turbo]

Spock: You got a message from Starfleet Command today.
Scotty: Starfleet Command? What is it?
Spock: Well, it's a big building where admirals meet. But that's not important right now.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"This is a church. This is the steeple. Pfft. This was a RUSSIAN inwention."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"Let's begin.

You first, Mister Boma.

Whichever one of you gentlemen climaxes in the Yeoman's mouth the quickest loses."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Dear Lord Xenu...

Please deliver dis ship from de scourge of Cossack oppressors and put dem to slave labor in de velour mines of the Coal Sack Nebula..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "What flying experience have you had?"

Boma: "I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force, but this shuttle has two engines. It's an entirely different kind of flying... altogether."

All (Together): "It's an entirely different kind of flying."

 

[Turbo]

Sulu: All right, Chekov, you listen, and listen close. Flying a starship is no different from riding a bicycle; it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

 

[cooleddie74]

BOMA:"Well, what did you have?"

SPOCK:"The vegetarian meal."

SCOTTY:"Aye, lads...I had fish as well!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Tenk you and de Church of Religious Consciousness for allowing me to give back at de office at Jupiter Station..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "Over Macho Grande?"

Chekov: "No. I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande."

Leslie: "Our top story tonight, four-alarm fire rages through downtown Buffalo. Also in the news, shuttlecraft Galileo out of control, and certain disaster."

Sulu: "Our top story tonight, four-alarm fire rages through downtown Tokyo. Also in the news, Federation shuttlecraft locked in death struggle."

Chekov: "A four-alarm fire in Downtown Moscow clears way for a glorious new tractor factory. And on the lighter side of the news, seven capitalists are soon to perish in shuttle disaster."

 

[cooleddie74]

SULU:"Back to Spacedock? What's that for?"

CHEKOV:"It's a huge orbiting hangar vere de Fleet keeps lots of ships and people...but dat's not important right now!"

 

[M'Sharak]

"Kung Pao shrimp again, Meestar Sulu? Vhoof! Stop snickering,
Meestar Leslie, or I'll trade you stations, you Cossack."

 

[Gertch]

Spock: "Mr Boma. If she points to the ceiling and shouts 'Khan, da plane, da plane' again. Shoot to kill."

 

[Rat Boy]

Chekov: "Loneliness, that's the bottom line. I was never happy as a child... Christmas, Hikaru, what does that mean to you? It was living hell. Do you know what it's like falling in the mud and getting kicked, in the head? Vith an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does, that never happens. Sorry, Hikaru, it's a dumb question, skip that."

 

[Tim]

Sulu demonstrates the "silent but deadly," much to Chekov's chagrin.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "Mr. Boma, how soon can you land?"

Boma: "I can't tell."

Spock: "You can tell me, I'm a Vulcan."

Boma: "No, I mean I'm just not sure."

Spock: "Well, can't you take a guess?"

Boma: "Well, not for another two hours."

Spock: "You can't take a guess for another two hours?"