Top 5 TOS Characters You'd Just Love to Biotchslap!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Ok, just to be clear here, I am not in any way condoning violence against women. The term biotchslap (altered for the censors, although I have seen worse language used on the boards) is defined according to the Urban Dictionary as:

"To open handedly slap someone. Denote disrespect for the person being biotch slapped as they are not worthy of a man sized punch. Suggests the slap was met with little resistance and much whining."

In other words, it is just as applicable to a man as to a woman. Okay, now that I've got the PC stuff out of the way, what are your top 5 characters (regular or guest appearance) that you would love to feed the back of your hand to? Here are mine:

5. Galactic High Commissioner Ferris
4. Ambassador Fox
3. Ambassador Fox's Aide
2. Plasus
1. Commodore Decker

 

[Nerys Myk]

Niles Barris

Arne Darvin

Commodore Stocker

Elaan of Troyius

Nancy Helford

 

[AtoZ]

Niles Barris

Just because.

 

[Gov Kodos]

5) T'Pring, which during Pon Farr could lead to all sorts of craziness.
4) Stonn, the poor schnook really needs to stop being led by the balls.
3) Chapel, just because.
2) Niles Barris, and pretty much every other Federation bureaucrat.
1) John Gill, the Nazis as role models? If ever there was a reason to biotchslap someone, that's it.

 

[Greg Cox]

Nancy Helford

I don't know. She's irritable (and irritating), but I'm inclined to cut her a little slack due to the fact that she's only hours away from dying of a terminal disease!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Nancy Helford

I don't know. She's irritable (and irritating), but I'm inclined to cut her a little slack due to the fact that she's only hours away from dying of a terminal disease!

I'll cancel the Airplane style slap que.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

I don't have a list but first one that came to mind was Marla McGivers.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Assuming his powers could be taken away first: Gary Mitchell. What a bastard. "Morals are for men, not gods" indeed.

And no, I don't buy the argument that it's the powers that made him act that way.

 

[Gov Kodos]

Assuming his powers could be taken away first: Gary Mitchell. What a bastard. "Morals are for men, not gods" indeed.

And no, I don't buy the argument that it's the powers that made him act that way.

So to paraphrase Shaw, 'Power doesn't corrupt, fools corrupt power.'

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ I just have a hard time believing that a 'good' man could turn that evil so quickly. He must have had some of it in him to begin with.

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

^ I just have a hard time believing that a 'good' man could turn that evil so quickly. He must have had some of it in him to begin with.

Well, I think we all have some of that in us already. The trouble is there was not enough time for the wisdom to use his power to develop as quickly as his power increased.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ I just have a hard time believing that a 'good' man could turn that evil so quickly. He must have had some of it in him to begin with.

Well, I think we all have some of that in us already. The trouble is there was not enough time for the wisdom to use his power to develop as quickly as his power increased.

But you'd think that Gary would have realized what was happening to him. If somebody starts out good, then becomes more evil, won't they know this and try to stop it? It's Gary's responsibility to himself and to the universe in general to do so. He should have known that his thoughts were becoming dark and evil. And therefore he should have taken steps to not fall any further. If he failed in that, it's his fault, isn't it? We saw what he was like in the end - he ended up becoming godlike BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. He ENJOYED it. Kirk said in the end that Gary "didn't ask for what happened to him"...why is this relevant? Gary may not have asked for it, but he took well advantage of it. He enjoyed what was happening to him even if he didn't ask for it to happen.

To put it another way: Dr. Dehner was smart enough to maintain her 'humanity', because she was not inherently evil. She stopped Gary. She realized what her power was doing to her. She died with her humanity intact.

 

[Bixby]

(1) Korax, Koloth's second-in-command from The Trouble with Tribbles: that dude is just askin' for it!

(2) Finnegan : just cuz the dude is REALLY askin' for it!!

(3) Marvin Belli as the Gorgan: just because he's so...damn...LAME!!!

(4) Dionyd from Plato's Stepchildren: all the Platonians were arrogant, but THIS guy was british (like all good evil movie/tv characters should be) but he had a face that just aches for a great big FRESH one...

(5) Ambassador Fox: I'm with Scotty, that guy was the sort of supremely annoying, finger-pointing, bulldozing, holier-than-thou bureaucrat we seem to always be saddled with today in the civil service...

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

^ I just have a hard time believing that a 'good' man could turn that evil so quickly. He must have had some of it in him to begin with.

Well, I think we all have some of that in us already. The trouble is there was not enough time for the wisdom to use his power to develop as quickly as his power increased.

But you'd think that Gary would have realized what was happening to him. If somebody starts out good, then becomes more evil, won't they know this and try to stop it? It's Gary's responsibility to himself and to the universe in general to do so. He should have known that his thoughts were becoming dark and evil. And therefore he should have taken steps to not fall any further. If he failed in that, it's his fault, isn't it? We saw what he was like in the end - he ended up becoming godlike BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. He ENJOYED it. Kirk said in the end that Gary "didn't ask for what happened to him"...why is this relevant? Gary may not have asked for it, but he took well advantage of it. He enjoyed what was happening to him even if he didn't ask for it to happen.

To put it another way: Dr. Dehner was smart enough to maintain her 'humanity', because she was not inherently evil. She stopped Gary. She realized what her power was doing to her. She died with her humanity intact.

Good point, but Mitchell's ESPer rating was higher, was it not? That might account for he power growing at a faster rate within him thus making it more difficult for him to retain his more virtuous faculties.

 

[CmndrSela318]

I'm going to put the episode titles in these square brackets [ ]

[Spock's Brain] Lady who stole Spock's brain.
[Dagger of the Mind] Dr. Adams.
[This Side of Paradise] Those colonists on that planet with those plants.
[Day of the Dove] Kang.
[Balance of Terror] Lt. Stiles--the navigator.

That's all for now. But give me time and I'll probably think of some more.

 

[Ian Keldon]

Another vote for McGivers. What Khan saw in her I'll never know. She was hardly a "superior woman".

 

[BillJ]

Helen Noel, I could slap that ass all night long. Oh wait, not that kind of slap...

 

[spockrocks]

Dr. Pulaski (Diana Muldaur)
Dr. Ann Mulhall (Diana Muldaur)
Dr, Miranda Jones (Diana Muldaur)
see a theme here?
Gary Mitchell
Captain Janeway

 

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Another vote for McGivers. What Khan saw in her I'll never know. She was hardly a "superior woman".

Oh but that red hair, healthy bosom, and fine child-bearing hips! Yeah, I think he saw fertile ground for building a new dynasty.

 

[T'Girl]

Helen Noel, I could slap that ass all night long. Oh wait, not that kind of slap...

Simply begs for a thread of it's own.

Characters who you'd love to bare bottom spank.