to be upset or not to be?

[Nakita Akita]

So you're at a class for diabetics.
Your boy/girlfriend's (whichever: here to referred to as "spouse"(thought marriage not necessary))
Next door neighbor goes to the class too.
He/ she rides in the car you with you and your "spouse".
After the class your "spouse" who has diabetes, stops by to ask the instructor so questions regarding further classes, A1C questions.
Whilst standing next to your "spouse" the neighbor walks up
And says to the instructor that he/she takes care of your "spouse" during the week while you are at work and you take care of her/him on the week ends.
Example:
Larry is talking to Emma the class instructor.
Mary, Larry's partner of 20 years is standing next to Larry.
Tina, Larry's next door neighbor tells the instructor,Emma, " Well, I take care of Larry during the week and Mary takes care of him on week-ends."
Tina, Larry and Mary are all heterosexual.
Larry is in no way an invalid and does not require care.

Does it seem normal or odd that Tina says this?
Is Mary justified in getting upset with Tina?
Is Mary just insecure?

 

[auntiehill]

No, that's not normal.

A conversation needs to be had---both with spouse and with creepy -ass neighbor.

It could be that creepy-ass neighbor is just trying to feel more important by inserting herself into other people's lives, because she's lonely or has an inflated sense of self-importance ---or maybe she wants to be more important to your spouse in particular. She will probably say she was just "joking" but those types of jokes are actually passive -aggressive methods of revealing intent.

Either way, that shit has to stop.

If that happened with me, a third party, and my spouse, believe me, a conversation would occur.

 

[ALF]

Not sure. Maybe normal?
Just about everyone I meet and talk to in public is peculiar in some way.

 

[Nakita Akita]

No, that's not normal.

A conversation needs to be had---both with spouse and with creepy -ass neighbor.

It could be that creepy-ass neighbor is just trying to feel more important by inserting herself into other people's lives, because she's lonely or has an inflated sense of self-importance ---or maybe she wants to be more important to your spouse in particular. She will probably say she was just "joking" but those types of jokes are actually passive -aggressive methods of revealing intent.

Either way, that shit has to stop.

If that happened with me, a third party, and my spouse, believe me, a conversation would occur.

Well, a few weeks later
Larry told Mary that he told Tina that Mary said she doesn't want Tina hanging around with them.
Mary explained to Larry how creepy it was, what Tina had said and asked Larry to
Please use his undeniable skills of decorum to tell Tina to "get the fuck out of Mary and Larry's lives/life".

Larry told Mary, weeks later that Tina said that Mary is insecure.
Mary's ever lovin freaking head almost exploded.
Mary tried to explain that she felt Tina was being creepy and intrusive but she felt as though she were trying to explain it to a stack of cordwood.

Maybe Mary should invite some single male friends from work along on a few outings with her and Larry.

 

[Nakita Akita]

Not sure. Maybe normal?
Just about everyone I meet and talk to in public is peculiar in some way.

Sort of but Karry and Mary have known Tina for 15 years.
Tina was married to Tony.
The two couples went out as a group, twice in the 15 years. Never invited to each other's houses pretty much nothing as two couples.
So it's not talking to a stranger at the train station type thing.

If you have a partner or spouse would you want someone telling another that he/she takes care of her/him during the week?
-assuming that your partner is not a person in need of "care".

 

[DonIago]

I'm ready for the visual aids...

 

[Sibyl]

I'm reminded of an Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode on just the other night.

Sorry, what your describing may or not be "normal", but it ain't right.

 

[Kor]

Unless Tina is Larry's sister, mom or daughter, then in my humble opinion I think it might possibly be useful to have some frank communication about proper boundaries.

Kor

 

[Nakita Akita]

I'm ready for the visual aids...

I'd love to do visuals for you.
But I can't.
Don Lago and For Liga (Don Lago's lover)
Are talking to Miss S.
Creeply Creep, comes up behind Don Lago and For Liga and tells Miss S,
" I take care of For Liga during the week and Don Lago does it on week-ends."

Donlago, do you want someone taking care of your lover during the week?

 

[Refuge]

I hope you don't mind this reaction but Larry needs to own his own passive involvement here.

(Quoting you)

*Well, a few weeks later
Larry told Mary that he told Tina that Mary said she doesn't want Tina hanging around with them.
Mary explained to Larry how creepy it was, what Tina had said and asked Larry to
Please use his undeniable skills of decorum to tell Tina to "get the fuck out of Mary and Larry's lives/life".

Larry told Mary, weeks later that Tina said that Mary is insecure.
Mary's ever lovin freaking head almost exploded.*

(End excerpt)

Larry told Mary that he told Tina that Mary said she doesn't want Tina hanging around with them

Like thanks Larry for dropping Mary in it. Couldn't Larry have distanced himself from Tina by showing a united front with his partner? It did rather set Mary up for the later comment from Tina, who seems to still be offering her intrusive comments to Larry. She gets to call out Mary on being insecure when it should really be both Mary and Larry who don't need Tina taking ownership in Larry's care, let alone getting in their business. Larry let Tina know it was only an issue because it upset Mary.

Larry is possibly just a dude who might feel just a tad entitled to attention, I really don't know so I hope I'm not speaking out of turn. Tina needs to be shut down and politely but efficiently put back in her place. Larry needs to refocus his spare time to looking after himself and his own family/partner. In my not so humble opinion

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Larry" should have told "Tina" to go take a long walk off a short pier.

 

[Nakita Akita]

I hope you don't mind this reaction but Larry needs to own his own passive involvement here.

(Quoting you)

*Well, a few weeks later
Larry told Mary that he told Tina that Mary said she doesn't want Tina hanging around with them.
Mary explained to Larry how creepy it was, what Tina had said and asked Larry to
Please use his undeniable skills of decorum to tell Tina to "get the fuck out of Mary and Larry's lives/life".

Larry told Mary, weeks later that Tina said that Mary is insecure.
Mary's ever lovin freaking head almost exploded.*

(End excerpt)

Larry told Mary that he told Tina that Mary said she doesn't want Tina hanging around with them

Like thanks Larry for dropping Mary in it. Couldn't Larry have distanced himself from Tina by showing a united front with his partner? It did rather set Mary up for the later comment from Tina, who seems to still be offering her intrusive comments to Larry. She gets to call out Mary on being insecure when it should really be both Mary and Larry who don't need Tina taking ownership in Larry's care, let alone getting in their business. Larry let Tina know it was only an issue because it upset Mary.

Larry is possibly just a dude who might feel just a tad entitled to attention, I really don't know so I hope I'm not speaking out of turn. Tina needs to be shut down and politely but efficiently put back in her place. Larry needs to refocus his spare time to looking after himself and his own family/partner. In my not so humble opinion

Well Larry belives now that Mary is insecure.
I think anyone thinking Mary is insecure is asinine. But Tina being a C word and using her female psych on Larry, it seems has duped him.
I think Mary may be possessive rather than insecure.
Mary wants to knock crap out of Tina in the best redneck style but also doesn't want to go to jail.
Anyway Mary tried to explain as you said,to Larry, explain to psyco-bitch Tina to distance herself, but Larry acted like a fool
And threw Mary under the bus.
Anyway, Mary was okay with bitch face Tina for the most part as she had backed off, but since finding out that bitch face Tina tried her psych on Larry, now Mary will never so much as say one word to Bitch face Tina ever again.
And Larry's cousin lives down the road and as soon as Mary sees an opportunity she is going to make sure Larry's cousin knows about bitch face psycho Tina.

 

[auntiehill]

Why do I suddenly hear "Dueling Banjos?"

 

[Avro Arrow]

OK, two things.

One, "Mary" doesn't need validation of her feelings from random strangers online. If she's upset, she's upset, and her feelings are valid.

Two, this thread appears to be turning into just an opportunity to vent about "Tina", and as such, seems to be heading right into "blog" territory. So I think we're just going to shut this one down.