Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This #579: Close Contact

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Oct 17, 2020.

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  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Admiral

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    Location:
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    Hello and welcome to our new Contest!

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    First up to the plate, we have the "Strap yourselves in for StarCraft references" Award going to @TrekTee for:

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    Data: They're in for some chop, sir?
    Picard: Five by five.


    Next, we have the "Worf, Son of Venkman" Award, going to @Tenacity for:

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    Worf: I thought after we finish here we could share a meal
    Kaylar: You not going to use those same old cheap moves, are you?
    Worf: No, I have all new cheap moves


    Next, we have the "Ugh, can't we get the WB instead?" Award, going to @Honorable Ensign for:

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    Romulan: I have successfully altered our reception. We now pick up UPN.


    Next, we have the "So what do you rename Phaser to?" Award, going to @ghoulleywest for:

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    Data: I have successfully altered it from a "try"-corder to a "do"-corder.


    Next, we have "The Best Planet Express has to offer!" Award, going to @Geoff Peterson for:

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    RIKER: Are you sure Scruffy the Janitor is the right person for this job?


    Many great Photoshops this contest!

    @Captain pl1ngpl0ng:

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    Picard: What happened here?
    Data: someone saw K'Ehleyr screaming something about a "vending machine"
    Picard: and then she punched it?
    Data: yes sir

    @Herbert:

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    Data: Captain, you were correct. Bracing the cartridge by Jamming instruction manuals into the intake port indeed did the trick


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    3 KBL's!
    @Dr. San Guinary:

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    Worf: Success! I have located a Charizard in the auxiliary engine room!

    @shivkala:

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    Neral: Praetor, I have done as you ask, I have found a way to watch Picard without paying for CBS All-Access.

    Praetor: Excellent, Neral

    Neral: However, the human's system...YouTube...is only offering the series for a short time, so we must make haste and watch it, as the humans say by, "Netflixing and chilling."

    @Orphalesion:

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    K'ehlyr: I really want you to kiss me. But I also kinda want to punch you...
    Worf: Sounds like a normal Klingon relationship to me.
    K'ehlyr: Screw you, Worf!
    Worf: That's the plan.

    Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

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    Enjoy!
     
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  2. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    WORF: Talk to the hand, petaQ!
     
  3. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    LAFORGE: Computer, end program Three Stooges Riker1 !
     
  4. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Admiral

    Joined:
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    The More You Know: Commander William T. Riker miscalculated how heavy Lieutenant Commander Data was, causing permanent damage to his back and giving birth to his signature 'Riker Lean," but much to the chagrin of all CONN and OPS officers, the stinknuts position.

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    Chief Engineers Log: This was a mistake.

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    Duras regretted losing the Slap Bet to Worf.

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    PIcard: Vash, did you invite anybody else to our roleplay night?


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    Langor: No, let the two people who were in Wrath of Khan work things out.

    Romas: But he wasn't credited-

    Langor squeezes tghther

    Langor: THAT WAS HIS AGENTS FAULT!!!!
     
  5. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    WORF: If you three don't settle down, I'm turning this starship around and no one is going to Risa!!!
     
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  6. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Chief Engineers Log: I retain the title of "Chief Engineer" following the annual Starfleet Engineering Duel to the Death
     
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  7. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Worf: They are all incapacitated...I must strike NOW!
     
  8. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    A successful use of the rarely seen Klingon Fighting style "B'itch sla'p"
     
  9. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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  10. Leviathan

    Leviathan Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Picard: From this day forth all the toilets shall be known as "Johns"!

     
  11. Herbert

    Herbert Commodore Commodore

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    On the holodeck, Riker likes to indulge his Enterprise bridge crew manakin posing fetish
     
  12. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Geordi: Now now boys, there's plenty of me to go around.
     
  13. Herbert

    Herbert Commodore Commodore

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    Worf: <singing> Everybody was Kung-fu fighting. Those kicks were fast as lightning
     
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  14. Herbert

    Herbert Commodore Commodore

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    Laforge: Doctor, I fail to see how this is going to....
    The Dancing Doctor: Shut up Geordi. This choreography will finally win me Dancing With The Galactic Stars
     
  15. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Thank you for the win!

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    Worf: Lt.'s Log--There is great honor in being the designated starship driver. Now, I must convince Commander "I've only had 3 beers, I'm fine," that he is not, in fact "fine."


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    Geordi: THIS IS NOT SOCIAL DISTANCING!


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    Star Trek's attempt at 3d was...lacking.


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    Picard: I'm Robin Hood, I steal from the rich and give to the poor. You belonged to him, now you'll belong to some peasant. I don't make the rules, I just follow them.


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    Star Trek circa 1987: Drugs are bad, M'kay?
     
  16. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Musical chairs day on the bridge.

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    Using hindsight, maybe Star Trek wasn't as woke as some people seem to think it was.
     
  17. CryptCaitian

    CryptCaitian Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Riker was never very good at the Dead Bodies game, and Worf never failed to make him suffer for it.
     
  18. 20-Backwards

    20-Backwards Commodore Commodore

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    YOU USED A CONTRACTION DIDN'T YOU!?

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    Play air-clarinet one more time, I'll make it glow out your OTHER side.
     
  19. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker: Okay Data, if you want to be the counselor, you need to get up and put on a blue dress.
     
  20. Earl Grey Tea

    Earl Grey Tea Ensign Red Shirt

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    Worf: "We have finally arrived. It's the first Klingon drive-thru in 3,000 light years. So very hungry."
    Riker: " Stop hitting yourself."
    Picard: "Ah yes, the crimson arches...I want an Angry Meal with gagh!"
     
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