Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This #576: Back in the game

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jun 20, 2020.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    Normandy SR-2 Comm Room
    Hello all! I seriously did not realize how much time had gone by since the last contest. I knew I was behind, but had it in my head that I had started a new contest around the time Shelter in place started.

    I can see that there's interest in potentially having someone else take over, I have no argument with that. My schedule has gotten busier over time and my Star Trek time is not as sizeable as it once was. @Mutai Sho-Rin if you feel it's appropriate to give me the hook, please PM me and we'll talk.

    In the meantime,

    [​IMG]


    First up to the plate, we have the "Let's focus people!" Award, going to @Herbert for:

    [​IMG]
    K'ehleyr: Intently engaged in the meeting
    Picard: Intently engaged in the meeting
    Riker: Intently engaged in the meeting
    Data: Intently engaged in the meeting
    Troi: Intently engaged in the meeting
    Worf: <thinking> Did I leave the iron on?

    Next, we have the "Suzie Plakson Appreciation" Award, going to @GeorgeKirk for:

    [​IMG]

    "Look, Dr. Selar, I don't know what you have to gain by trying to convince us you're a Klingon. What's next, a Q? An Andorian?"

    Next, we have the "But I like cracking my knuckles!" Award, going to @IMC Headquarters for:

    [​IMG]

    CRUSHER: Jean-Luc? STOP CRACKING YOUR KNUCKLES ON THE TABLETOP! YOU KNOW I CAN'T STAND THAT!


    Next, we have the "THIS is why we need a permanent Chief Engineer" Award, going to @shivkala for:

    [​IMG]

    Crusher: Captain, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you could have network connectivity problems.


    Next, we have the "Interstellar Kickbacks" Award, going to @Leviathan for:

    [​IMG]

    Picard: Federation Underboss Oxmyx sent me to collect his "piece of this action".


    Next, we have the "The Most Honorable Captain in Starfleet" Award, going to @JesterFace for:

    [​IMG]

    PICARD: Mr. Data, now that I have seen your cards in your hand, want to deal me in?


    Two KBL's!

    @Delta Vega:

    [​IMG]

    Worf quietly ponders why six of them are crammed into half the table space, while the rest is empty


    @Laura Cynthia Chambers:

    [​IMG]
    Christmas Day: When your parents are so fascinated with the toy they bought you that they won't let you play with it.


    Many thanks to all who participated and congrats to our winners!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Enjoy!
     
    Orphalesion and IMC Headquarters like this.
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    Normandy SR-2 Comm Room
    [​IMG]

    Captain's log: I'm beginning to regret telling the crew that I could run this whole bridge myself.

    [​IMG]

    Riker: Why don't I ever bring a tricorder? I wouldn't have to poke my head out into the open if I ever had one.


    [​IMG]

    Picard: It's a beautiful view, isn't it Mister Worf?

    Worf: Shouldn't we be able to see the Warp Nacelles from here?


    [​IMG]

    Second officer's log: I was reciting my latest poetry to Geordi, then he mysteriously ran to a turbolift.

    [​IMG]

    Sela: Why do I have to stand here in the shadows? I want to totally freak out that Engineer.
     
    IMC Headquarters likes this.
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Tomorrow Never Knows Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Here, There and Everywhere
    [​IMG]
    PICARD: Why are we in orbit around Gideon?

    [​IMG]
    RIKER: I should be safe behind this sleeping alligator.

    [​IMG]
    Data tries to remember his room number.

    [​IMG]
    SELA: Red Alert by Cover Girl. The perfect shade of lipstick for invasion and conquer.
     
    Herbert and IMC Headquarters like this.
  4. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    [​IMG]

    Worf: What?
    Picard (shouting): I SAID IT'S A BEAUTIFUL VIEW !
    Worf (shouting back): YES SIR, IT IS.

    [​IMG]

    Picard: Mr. Worf, where is everyone?
    Worf: We're all all on the bridge, where are you?
    Picard: Apparently on another bridge.
    Worf: Sir, a ship has only one bridge, one bridge.

    [​IMG]

    RIker: What do you want?
    Aliens: We're just look for our large snake.
    Riker (looks at alien creature he was having sex with):
    She'll be out in a few minutes.

    [​IMG]

    Data (thinking): There are over one thousand people aboard this ship. Why are the corridors so empty?
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2020
    IMC Headquarters likes this.
  5. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Fleet Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
    [​IMG]

    PICARD:. Fingerprints smeared all over this console... Computer? Activate the Emergency Housekeeping Hologram.

    COMPUTER: *does not compute bleep*

    [​IMG]

    A lone mosquito on set triggers Frakes' PTSD from his time trekking through the Maine woods where he got eaten alive by the relentless buggers.


    [​IMG]

    PICARD:. So. Mr Worf? Who is the better Captain--Sisko or myself?



    [​IMG]

    DATA:. Someone is smoking a cigarette nearby.

    [​IMG]

    StarTrek: Intro Darkness

    Welcome back LeadHead!!!

    Thank you for the win!
     
  6. Mutai Sho-Rin

    Mutai Sho-Rin Crusty Old Bastard Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2001
    Location:
    Orange, CA USA
    The ancient and wise Sho-Rin is delighted to see LeadHead back in action. I never wanted to yank the caption contest from you, I was just responding to that suggestion since you had virtually vanished. Thrilled to see you back.
     
  7. Finn

    Finn Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin
    [​IMG]
    PICARD: Why are there more fingerprints on Data’s station than the others?

    [​IMG]
    First Officer’s log: I’ve met my match. A maze made up of chairs I cannot get my leg over...
     
  8. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    shivkala
    Thank you, @LeadHead and welcome back!

    [​IMG]

    Picard: Captain's Personal Log, until Starfleet sees fit to give me a proper Captain's Yacht, I am forced to run weekly separation drills, freeing up the bridge for some relaxation. Now, using the CONN, I will initiate my Captain's Yacht-Rock Playlist and indulge myself until Riker realizes what I've done and returns with the drive section.

    *Christopher Cross' "Sailing" begins playing.*

    Picard: Yes, it is not quite far from paradise...

    [​IMG]

    Riker: First Officer's Log, following Counselor Troi's suggestion, I've beamed down to this planet with my transporter duplicate, Thomas, for a game of "Hide and Seek" to attempt to bond with him. Either he's really bad at this...or, oh, no, he's returned to the ship to tell them I'm dead so he can get his revenge and strand me here for 8 years! That handsome bastard!


    [​IMG]

    *After several long, quiet moments staring out into space...*

    Picard: What if, Worf, what if the "Strange New Worlds" we've sought out were the friends we made along the way?


    [​IMG]

    Data: Curious, it appears that if you walk far enough down either side of this corridor, you'll come to something called a "soundstage."

    [​IMG]

    The 24th Century revival of "The Weakest Link" had some questionable set design.
     
  9. Qonundrum

    Qonundrum Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    May 18, 2017
    Location:
    The clinic located by the Q Continuum
    [​IMG]
    Picard: "
    Stand Navy out to sea,
    Fight our battle cry
    We'll never change our course,
    So vicious foe steer shy-y-y-y.
    Roll out the TNG,
    Sail on to victory
    And sink their bones to Davy Jones,
    just don't tell Peter Tork, oy vey!
    Anchors Aweigh, my boys,
    Anchors Aweigh...
    "



    [​IMG]
    Riker: "Captain, I heard that. The next time you want to sing, turn off the bloody intercom first!"




    [​IMG]
    Data: "Captain, Commander Riker has a point about your singing with the intercom on. Especially as your singing was off-key. But you have given me an idea. About lifer forms, tiny little life forms..."


    [​IMG]
    Sela: "Captain, do you like my new economy-size lipstick?"
     
  10. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    [​IMG]

    And once more Jean-Luc falls for the ol' super glue on the Ops panel trick.

    Picard: Merde.
     
  11. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2017
    Location:
    CT - Yay! More taxes and possibly tolls.
    [​IMG]
    Spiner: Does this shot make me look taller?
     
  12. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2017
    Location:
    CT - Yay! More taxes and possibly tolls.
    [​IMG]
    Voice over announcer whispering: We've secretly replaced Riker's phaser innards with palm beacon innards and the hostile aliens are just around the bend. Let's see if he notices the difference.
     
  13. Gepard

    Gepard Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
    :lol:
     
    shivkala likes this.
  14. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2017
    Location:
    CT - Yay! More taxes and possibly tolls.
    [​IMG]
    Worf: Captain, as ordered the lights in the observation lounge have been set to 'gravitas'
     
  15. Herbert

    Herbert Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2017
    Location:
    CT - Yay! More taxes and possibly tolls.
    [​IMG]
    Garak: <to Bashir> It's the latest in Romulan fashion dummies.
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Tomorrow Never Knows Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Here, There and Everywhere
    [​IMG]
    PICARD: I was expecting a larger turn out for my lecture on the implications of the Prime Directive.
    WORF: I was told there would be prune juice...
    PICARD:*glares*
    WORF:...so, no prune juice?
     
    kira_nerys likes this.
  17. Mojochi

    Mojochi Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
    Ooo! Welcome back! I missed these. :hugegrin:

    [​IMG]

    Captain's Log: 1st entry: Apparently they weren't kidding when they said I'd be going where no one had gone before.

    [​IMG]

    Riker: (Thinking) Remember your academy training. Lean... Then take aim.

    [​IMG]

    Worf: Sir... I really don't think my coming closer to you is enough ballast shift to affect the ship's tack.

    [​IMG]

    Data: Damn you Soong, for not putting in some rear optical units. This is terribly inefficient.

    [​IMG]

    Riker: Your eyes are up where?
     
  18. Qonundrum

    Qonundrum Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    May 18, 2017
    Location:
    The clinic located by the Q Continuum
    [​IMG]
    Sela: "Data, I got bored with you, which is why I told you to never speak of it. So how do you like your replacement?"
    Data: "It is positively glowing and radiant with vibrance. But if you expect me to engage in any negative emotional responses such as 'jealousy', you will be mistaken."
     
  19. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    [​IMG]

    Picard: Okay, what about this console.
     
    Tim Thomason likes this.
  20. Orphalesion

    Orphalesion Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2014
    [​IMG]

    Sela: And this lovely "massage stick" can be yours for only 399.99!
    (Failure to make a purchase within the next 30 minutes will be interpreted as an act of treason)

    [​IMG]

    Riker: Be vewy quiet I'm hunting Womulans!

    [​IMG]

    Picard: Data is still writing Twilight fanfiction?