Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #562: Get the bad guys!
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Captain's Log Supplemental: The aliens who abducted me are in their 34th hour of confinement. I have instructed Commander Data to release them exactly 1 minute after they match the time I was their prisoner.
Data: In the future, do not stand in an easily surround able area of metal scaffolding.
J'Dhan: I just wanted to earn my own baldric. Why is he the ONLY klingon anymore who gets to have one?!
Ardra: Do you really think these guys in silver capes can stop me?
Riker: Phasers on stun, they might be dangerous.
(Yar and Worf laugh)
Picard: Thank you, yes, that's very entertaining. But when I said I wanted to watch DISCO, that's not what I meant!
Second Officer's Log: Enterprise's Got Talent live auditions proceeding smoothly.
Data: Don't get your hopes up, Geordi, This may be a red light district, but Traveller's Guide to Bordellos say it's rife with STDs.
LaForge: Star Trek: Discoverys?
Data: ...We will go with that.
Worf: You are hereby charged with rolling around the corridors in that chair, yelling "Wheeeee!" How do you plead?
Ardra: I am Ardra. These are my henchmen, Thing 1 and Bob.
Riker: I assure you, our two civilisations will soon become mutual annoyances.
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The Fools of Acquisition
"No! Don't shoot! You'll ignite the cardboard behind us! It'll depreciate the value of this set!"
"Planet."
"Uh...right! Planet!"
"Where are the Sleestaks? We made luggage from them."
Kenneth Johnson sells yet another version of V to the networks...
"Mister Data? Strike the gong."
J'Dan: "There is no honor in time out."
Piacrd: Can you imagine that people used to watch Mama Mia: Here We Go Again! on a flat, 2-D screen rather than the holographic remaster?
Data: The sign clearly says only children under ten are allowed on the Jungle Jim.
J'Dan: Me? A Klingon? The very idea!
Ardra: Kirk would have bonked me.
Ferengi On Left:
I can't dance, I can't talk.
The only thing about me is the way I walk.
I can't dance, I can't sing
I'm just standing here selling everything.
Worf: Fans of the post-Gabriel era are without honour!
Picard: Yeah, this is way more interesting than Star Trek Bridge Crew. They should have went with the Alien Torture Simulator instead.
Alien 1: NOOO! NOT PURPLE!
Alien 2: PURPLE MUDDIES OUR COMPLEXION! WE'LL LOOK PASTY!
Geordi: You might've picked a better place to hide than the base of a radio tower
Worf: LIES! No Klingon would ever take... injections for an... illness. They'd rather just kill themselves
Captain's Log: Worst Gladys Knight & The Pips review, ever.
Yar: Don't worry commander. I've got them outnumbered.
Riker: Don't you mean WE have got them outnumbered?
Yar: No
Tasha: "Can we unfreeze now? My arm's getting numb."
Worf: "NO!"
Riker: "Why not?"
Worf: "Because Simon didn't say so."
Yar: We've got them covered, sir, just as a precaution.
Riker: These short, orange-skinned humanoids seem harmless enough.
Yar: Not them, sir. The intelligent lifeforms on this planet are these crystalline structures. We can't translate all of their language, but we think they're definitely, uh, giving as the bird, sir.
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