Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #559: Corridors of Power

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new caption contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Mommy Pulaski" Award, going to @2takesfrakes for:

KYLE: "What would you say to having Kate Pulaski as your new step-mother?"

Will: "She doesn't get along with the rest of the crew. She disrespects the Captain. She even called Data 'it.' You know what, Dad? I totally see it, now. You belong together ..."


Next, we have the "Dangerous Creatures" Award, going to @shivkala for:

Worf: Just watch out for the acid spit, Commander.

Riker: What's that? OWWWWWWW!


Next, we have the "...And she never let him forget it" Award, going to @1ittle for:

Lal: Father, what does my name mean?
Data: It is an ancient coding term for laughter.
Lal: Am I a joke to you?!
Data: I should not have made you a teenager...


Next, we have the "Death can come from a thousand paper cuts" Award, going to @captain crow for:

Alexander: Wow! I've never seen anyone go down that fast from a paper cut before.

Worf: Bite me.


Next, we have the "Those must've been interesting paternity tests" Award, going to @JirinPanthosa for:

RIKER: You mean I have a human child?
TROI: Yes, you named him Jean-Luc. What do you mean by 'human'?
RIKER: My other seven are half alien.

Two KBL's!

@tharpdevenport:

Worf: "do not worry, Commander Riker has saved the tree."

Son of Worf: "And the little turtles. Somebody save the little turtles."

Riker: "FU--"


@Honorable Ensign:

Hours later, it was finally time to admit neither of them could fix the computer themselves.


Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, rather than spending time on the Bridge, Ten Forward or Sickbay, lets go for a walk down the corridors.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Chief Engineers Personal Log: Apparently, I have a better uniform than Troi and Wesley.

Worf: Worf to Security team Gamma. Riker cheated at poker. Set phasers to kill.

Crusher: Oh, so THIS is where the arboretum is.

Data: Intriguing. The Captain's flute playing is registering as sonic weaponry.

Picard: (over comm) There's no escape this time Wesley.

 

[TribbleFeeder]

Thanks for the win @LeadHead !!!

Wesley: Where are we going guys?
Geordi: Ever seen Old Yeller?

Worf to Bridge: It appears Alexander is playing hide and seek again. He has been gone for several hours. If anyone sees him please contact me immediately.
Troi: Worf, your son has been living on earth for six months now with the Rozhenkos...are you just realizing that he’s been gone?

Beverly: Where is my dermal regenerator?
Lwaxana: Sorry dear, you know it does the trick for dark circles!!

Data: This is a photo of Spot on the sofa. And this is a photo of Spot on the counter. And there he is in the engineering room...
Geordi: Ok Spot’s cute, I kno—is he peeing??! I knew my keyboard felt sticky!

Q: Sorry Wesley! The crew and I finally agreed on something...
Wesley: NOOOOO!

 

[Finn]

Worf: I pledge allegiance to the flag of Minsk...

Chief Medical Officer's Log; I've decided on doing a Toy Story broadway production for next month's play. However, I seem to be unable to locate the Captain or rest of the senior staff.

Wesley: Computer, why is there a force field?

Computer: I've calculated a 88 percent likelihood of you causing a new crisis if I was to permit you to continue down this corridor. As a precaution, the forcefield is necessary for the good of the crew and the ship.

 

[Herbert]

Worf: Yer left! Yer left! Yer left right left!

 

[Herbert]

Crusher: <singing> How much more do you really think you know than a flower does about who's behind the door!
Ogawa: <in the room> Out of all the 80s bands you could choose to study, you chose Zebra? Really?

Spoiler

How many of you weren't even born yet when that song came out?

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

Wesley: So, have you given any thought to the "B-Team" idea I had?

Troi: The idea that Picard, Riker, and Data are the "A-Team" and always get to do the best stuff, but we're relegated to the background? I don't understand how banding together will help.

Wesley: There's strength in numbers, right? I mean, really, look at the type of stuff that focuses on us, you get pregnant, you get your powers stripped away from you, you date a string of bad men. I get drunk and almost destroy the ship, I'm captured along with other kids. But, if we band together, we're bound to get better stuff to do!

Troi: But why us? Surely Worf would be "B-Team" Material?

Geordi: I'm just thankful to be included!

Worf: Security Chief's Log--We need to get rid of these phaser pouches, they decrease our badass rating signifigantly. And these hand phasers are lame, as well. Why can't we get phaser rifles? And who is this dumbass besides me? It would be 10x cooler if it were Riker there than Lt. Noname.

Crusher: "Love is an open door!"

Picard: Dr., what have I told you about singing songs from Frozen?

Data: It is true, Geordi. The Tricorder corroborates my findings: this corridor is only a few meters long and then it stops. Each time we think we're walking in a new portion, we freeze, and start at the beginning of one of only a few different sections that I call "sets."

Wesley: Ha! Your forcefield cannot withstand my awesome dance moves! "Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh-oo child, things'll get brighter." Listen to these words. "Ooh-oo child, things are gonna get easier. Ooh-oo child, things'll get brighter." Now bring it down hard! "Someday, we'll get it together and we'll get it..." Dance-off, forcefield, just me and you!

 

[tharpdevenport]

The fourth annual Meeting of the Single Bridge Crew Members.

Picard: "He's a sparkly vampire, KILL HIM!"

Worf: "Actually, Captain, that's just the force field."

Picard: "Merde. Fine. He's Wesley -- KILL HIM!"

 

[2takesfrakes]

... Thanks for the win! wooHOO!!! >: )

BEV: "(Ohmygod!! ... Wes and Robin Lefler are getting it on?!) Wes, what are you doing? Get your ass up higher!!!"

 

[Leviathan]

Rarely seen use of the Starfleet Smugness Containment Field.

 

[Leviathan]

Geordi (muttering): standard uniform code my ass...

 

[Leviathan]

Just a routine drill...but per Starfleet protocol, Worf's backup would not survive.

 

[Leviathan]

By the 24th century, the leading cause of early death was distracted walking while looking at phones.

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

Worf will never live down the day he super-glued his hand to his communicator.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Worf: "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" is without honor!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

WESLEY: It's not fair for empaths to dress in revealing clothing. That's entrapment!

WORF: Heeeeeyy Macarena!

BEVERLY: Nope, no exciting colors in here either.

WESLEY: Damn it, if they can do that whenever they want, why don't they block off the entire ship the moment anyone escapes from anything? It's almost like they WANT drawn out chases!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD (VO): Intruder on the bridge!
WORF: On my way.
PICARD: You're bringing back up this time, right?
WORF (annoyed): Yes.

 

[ThankQ]

Crusher to Bridge: Intruder alert. Deck 7, Section 4. There's an albino going on about spores and being lost in the mycelial network.

 

[ThankQ]

Worf: A phaser rifle will not be necessary. This extra's Season 2 uniform is all the protection I need.

 

[Mojochi]

Wes: I really don't how Barclay can spend so much time fiddling around with holodeck women. It's so pathetic, right Geordi?

Geordi: Uuuuuh… yeah.

Little did they know, they'd been walking in circles on the holodeck, ever since the turbolift beam-out prank
#TurboliftBeamout

Wes: OMG MOM!

Beverly: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you... and... yourself

Geordi: I would've though your missing cat would be easier to spot. Why the hell DID you name it that?

Computer: Access to bridge denied... per captain's orders