Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #535: Cold Conditions

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks for the double win LH!

Whalen: Ah, Picard, my old friend. Do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold on the holodeck.

Picard: No Mr Worf, let them have their fun. They way things go on this ship, they'll probably be killed by an exploding console before they hit puberty anyway.

Wesley: Well, I always hoped to get my rocks off before leaving the ship...

Geordi: How does the entrance to this cave work without a door to roll under?

Riker: *Mumbling* Sure, Crusher is the one who stuck her slug boyfriend in me and made me have sex with her, but everyone do captions about me sexually harassing her. I'm in no way bitter.

 

[Finn]

Beverly: I know what they say about San Francisco in the summer but this is ridiculous

Braga: (OS) let's make him Harry Kim

Gene: *slaps Braga's head* Don't be stupid...

Ensign's Log: I'm considering moving the Captain so the heat would reflect off Picard's head better, making the room even warmer.

Chief Engineer's Log: This is the last time I'd ask Data about going mudding on the holodeck

Data: (OS) *laughing gleefully as he dances naked in a nearby pool of mud*

Crusher: I'm getting an idea for a play...

Riker: Riker to Enterprise, two to beam up immediately...Worf and myself..

O'Brien: (OS) What about the...

Riker: That's an order!

 

[Mr Soak]

Thanks for the win!

The Holodeck Snow Angel Contest was cancelled due to adverse weather conditions.

Picard: And here, Worf, is Wesley Crusher and nameless friend modelling our submission for next uniform design.
Worf: Kill me now.

Wes: Captain, you were lucky it was your turn to have the ship's phaser.

Meanwhile...

La Forge: D-d-d-damn, it wasn't my turn f-f-for the phaser.

First Officer's Log: Thankfully, our Starfleet training kicked in, and as soon as we materialised, we started searching for rocks to phaser for warmth.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Crusher: Commander, if you don't start pointing that thing somewhere else, I'm going to use you to train the new surgical interns. It's nearly time for your yearly physical. You won't feel a thing. Or maybe you will.

Riker: Fiery, isn't she?

Worf: Wesley Crusher is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

 

[Triskelion]

Man: I'm making snow angels.
Group: DOWN WITH INTOLERANCE!!! <shoot him>

Wesley: Captain sorry I hit you with a snowball. Too bad a Security officer wasn't here to take the hit for you.
Worf: M'on break

Wesley: Stow it, Wilson!
Picard: Grand.

A neutrino beacon! Lotta good that woulda done me down a big-ass hole! "Thank you" Wesley Crusher

Crusher: I'm detecting trace amounts of sarcasm in this direction. That might be Geordi.
Worf: What happened Commander - did you eat Kentucky's Fried Chicken for lunch?
Crusher: Never mind.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Picard: "Ah, Wes -- it's a little early in the dire situation to have painted my head and named it 'Wilson', don't you think?"

Wesley: "Sorry. I'll do other stuff."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: I've got a bad feeling about this.
CRUSHER: Wrong franchise, numskull.
RIKER: About that...

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!