Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #535: Cold Conditions

[tharpdevenport]

Geordi: "HEY! Who's been messing with my Romantic Engineering Work/Date With Brahms program?!"

Wes: "I hear humor is the best medicine. How would you like me to carve out a penisrock from that lump of rocks?"

Picard: "Oh, very well. Just make sure you don't show it or you'll make T'Bonz very cross."

 

[shivkala]

Thank you for the win!

Picard:
Yo, Wesley, let's kick it!
Ice ice baby
Ice ice baby
All right stop
Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow that a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme, I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
Dance
Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killin' your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less that the best is a felony
Love it or leave it
You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye
The kid don't play
If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my Data revolves it
Ice ice baby Vanilla
Ice ice baby Vanilla
Ice ice baby Vanilla
Ice ice…

Picard: I get the outfit, but a sweatband? Are you sure that's practical? Wouldn't earmuffs be a better choice?

Wesley: Now to superheat these rocks to provide us with enough warmth.

Rocks: Shut up, Wesley.

LaForge: Engineer's log, remind me to send Reg instead on the next away team. I'm staying in my nice safe engine room, where at least there's a door I can roll under in times of emergency.

Riker: Doctor, did you bring a phaser with you?

Crusher: No, why?

Riker: 'Cause your butt is stunning!

Worf: Sexual harassment is without honor!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

To lighten the mood after a harrowing away mission, the crew of Enterprise-D engage in a friendly game of freeze tag.

 

[Herbert]

Stewart: I'm impressed. With our budget I didn't think such outfits were doable
Wheaton: This? This is just wadded up aluminum foil
Stewart: So much for being impressed

 

[Qonundrum]

 

[Qonundrum]

 

[CorporalCaptain]

T4TW, @LeadHead!

Crusher: The holodeck is out of adjustment. All I can see is snow!

Cyrus Redblock: Is that wordplay supposed to be funny? People won't get that. They aren't even watching over the air any more.

Thug: I thought it was a sly reference to the animated series, when Uhura, Sulu, and McCoy were temporarily put in a snowstorm while the "rec room" was malfunctioning.

Whalen: Like people would get that; this is really messing up my death scene....

 

[Captain Crow]

Riker: Wow! That's a really big turd. I'd hate to meet the thing that left that.

[comic beat]

[loud pitched down with reverb dog bark]

Worf: Uhhh... Sir.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Worf: "Commander, may I suggest turning from your side to ... any side ... sideways not your 'Best side'..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: According to these readings, Dr. Korby's old lab should be this way.
RIKER: Worf, stay here and stand guard.
WORF: I've seen TOS... so, I don't think so.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Doctor, why is your purse vibrating?
Crusher: Sonic...screwdriver
Worf: WRONG FRANCHISE

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: Doctor, we're happy to be your chaperones, but are you sure this is where he was supposed to meet you?
Worf: Tinder is without honor!

 

[Catarina]

Wesley: Just blasting a dookie, sir.

La Forge: *to himself* As a matter a fact, so am I.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Day ten: I have still not found Sulu's corpse. Apparently Starfleet has not learned to send away teams to planets with just blankets and instead issued weak jackets."

 

[Leviathan]

TFTW!

"Star Trek: The Canadian Generation" was not a hit.

 

[Leviathan]

In this rare screencap from his audition, we see why LeVar Burton blamed "Trek typecasting" for his failure to land the role of Gollum.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Picard: "Computer, I meant a Dairy Queen Blizzard!"

 

[Leviathan]

Wes: There you go sir. A nice relaxing callback to TOS era cures all ills in old people. Feel better yet?

 

[Leviathan]

Picard: WHAT THE HELL!? A snowball?? Matter cannot leave the holodeck! Mr Worf, execute The Boy for a violation of the Canon Directive.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I asked for a Spring setting.!
DATA: This is Spring on Andor, sir.