Worf: "This is not the kitchen."
Riker: "Hey, it's not my fault all those passageways look alike!"
Worf: "I bet Wesley's eating that last slice of pizza right now..."
Worf: "This is not a good time, mom..."
Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #532: Halloween Week!
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Worf: "This is not the kitchen."
Riker: "Hey, it's not my fault all those passageways look alike!"
Worf: "I bet Wesley's eating that last slice of pizza right now..."
Worf: "This is not a good time, mom..."
Riker, Geordi, Data:
Vulcans, Klingons and Breen - oh my!
Vulcans, Klingons and Breen - oh my!
Vulcans, Klingons and Breen - oh my!
Worf: TOTO WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND. If you were any other man.
Beverly: So...does your wife know you're undead?
Zombie: I'm not married.
Beverly: Oh?
Shelby: As soon as Worf figures out where we are we can locate the Captain and extract him.
Worf: These birds are not so angry.
Director: It's not that it wouldn't fit in-universe, it's just that some people should not try to dance like Michael.
Riker: Shamone!
Worf: I AM SENSING NO PEOPLE ARE HERE, CAPTAIN!
Riker: I WILL TAKE TEN POINT FIVE SEVEN NINE EIGHT SEVEN FIVE ONE THREE EIGHT SECONDS TO FINISH THIS SENTENCE, CAPTAIN!
Worf: I AM TWELVE YEARS OLD YET I CAN STEER A FOUR POINT FIVE MILLION METRIC TON DISPLACEMENT WAR MACHINE!
Riker: NUMBER ONE! FETCH ME EARL GREY! SHAKESPEARE BLADDY BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Com: Picard to away team, how's it going?
Riker: It's pretty quiet over here, sir.
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Data: Which way do we go?
LaForge: This way. The oracle said if we take the right fork, we would come to the ruined castle
Riker: Can I magic missile the darkness yet?
Data: Commander, that ceased to be funny the second time you said it.
Worf: I'm the barbarian, right?
Data: What other class would you be?
Worf: Where are the orcs? You said there would be orcs to kill?
LaForge: Listen. I spent 87 hours programming this simulation. It contains all of the 1980s fantasy tropes. I didn't forget the orcs.
Riker: Hey look, little blue creatures.
Worf: Are those the orcs?
LaForge: No, those are Smurfs
Data: Worst D&D holo-program ever!
Riker: "Okay, who forgot to pay the power bill."
Worf: "But, sir, we do not use money."
Riker: "What did you say to the power company when they sent a subspace communication?"
Worf: "The Captain ordered me to not answer it and shut the external lights off so it looked like we weren't home."
Director, off screen: CUT! Hey morons. For the hundredth time the alien is the tennis ball on a stick.
Dorn: I thought it was the Post-it note on the wall.
Director, off screen: That's just a reminder for me to get milk on the way home.
Spiner: I thought it was the "No Smoking" sign.
Director, off screen: That's just a sign telling people they can't smoke in here.
Shelby: Stop staring at my boobs Data.
Riker: You had cabbage and prune juice for lunch and cleared out the bridge again didn't you?
Worf, sheepishly: Maybe.
[sounds of shattering porcelain]
Not my Hummel figurines!
[sounds of shattering porcelain]
Not my Tasteful Nudes of the Federation collector plates!
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Worf: Day-o, day-ay-ay-o.
Riker:.....
Worf: Daylight come and he wan' go home
Riker: You're right. The accoustics are pretty good on the bridge.
Worf: Day, he say day, he say day, he say day, he say day, he say day-ay-ay-o. Daylight come and he wan' go home
Riker: Okay, that's enough
Chief Engineer's Personal Log: It happened again today. No dumbasses... I don't need a flashlight
Crusher: How ironic. Normally it's the living patients unexpectedly dying
Shelby: I dunno.... Bug zapper?
Caught humping a moist hole in the ground, Riker screams for everyone to look away
Riker: I'll steer... You get out & push
Riker: We seem to be in a horror film. Geordi, you lead the way.
Geordi: Hey!
Riker: Come on, you know you're dead first regardless.
Crusher: Honestly, you bang one ghost...
Data: What have you seen Commander? Some slimey Borg monster about to drop down from the ceiling upon us?
Shelby: No, just got a crink in my neck from looking up at Riker. That dude is tall as buggery.
Amus: I was saddened to hear of Commander Riker's accusation. It was thirty years ago and I can no longer remember if it happened or not. But I was definitely drunk. And also gay.
Worf: THE SHIP HAS ONE BRIDGE!!!!
Riker: Our ship genuinely has two bridges.
First Officer's Log, the themed hotel was almost at capacity, so I ended up in the Creepy Room.
Barclay: Now that I have full access to the computer cores, I know how much Rum goes into your "tea, earl grey, hot."
Picard: Mister Worf, set phaser to kill.
Worf: Worf to Riker, there's no money in this room either.
Riker: (over comm) Did the hotel guest know you were there?
Worf: Not for long.
La Forge: I'm not sure what this is.
Picard: Picard to Enterprise. Download Tobin's Spirit Guide to Mister La Forge's tricorder.
Locutus: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is mostly futile.
Riker: How much for the happy ending?
Barclay: I'd hook you up Captain but it might create a Death Star beam.
Worf: Ah, Playborg - Miss 18 of 372 issue. Nice implants.
Picard: What is it, Geordi?
Geordi: Some kind of...ancient wine-soaked entity with a broomstick lodged up its backside.
Picard: Oh?
Geordi: And an alien.
Picard: Awww.
Locutus: I am Locutus of Borg. Corinthian leather is sheer luxury.
Borg: NEEDS WORK
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Riker, thinking: If it weren't for Barclay's usual horseshit I could be eating right now.
Worf: Wow! That's a lot of condoms.
Al the Alien: Coochy coochy coo!
Riker: "Just say when."
Doctor: "This sonic screwdriver is useless."
Picard: "Mr. Barclay, I've heard of Blu-Ray but this is ridiculous."
Worf: "Well, I see the Bible, but that's all."
Skeleton: "The motel owners just want you to go to Gre'thor, make no bones about it."
Picard: "I'm honored you want me to sign up for the Blue Man Group, but I really am not a singer."
Picard: "This egg whisk will make the best omelets."
Blanche Devereaux: "Jump my bones, please!"
Worf: "No!"
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