Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #511: Translation

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: It's made from genuine Mugato horn.
RIKER: Looks like cheap plastic.
PICARD: It's legit. I have an authenticity certificate from Quark, Inc.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: With the Captain missing, is now the best time to determine which of you Counselor Troi thinks is the better lover?

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the Win!

Picard: Dundee, his knife a real knife.

Riker: Worf, your plan is entirely sensible and would be the best course of action. However, as I am taking over for Captain Picard and this is his ship, I must deny you. He would have it no other way.

Picard: Damn it, why did I doodle instead of paying attention in "Survival 101" at the Academy?

Picard: Kirk, McCoy, and Spock with marshmelons at Yosemite.

Picard: Captain's Log--I believe my leadership philosophy can best be summed up by, "Speak softly and carry a sharp-ass knife."

 

[Jedman67]

Riker: "I'M THE MACHINE!"
Worf: "I'm The Machine!"
Riker: "No, you gotta yell it, bring it from your chest and roar!"
Worf: "I'M THE MACHINEEEE!!!!!!!!!!"
Data: "this is highly insulting, Commander."

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Picard: After reading your report on Klingon command structure that you wrote after your time aboard the Pagh, I've decided to implement a new method of crew evaluation that really cuts down on the paperwork.

By the way, I think you'll find that there's currently an opening for backup bridge commander on gamma shift.

 

[Tenacity]

Dathon: Jean-Luc, do you like movies about gladiators?

Dathon: "To a gun fight, a knife Darmok brought."

 

[Gepard]

"How to keep a Starfleet Captain busy for hours? Turn over."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Picard: "This is why men don't read the instructions."

Picard: "This is the last time I buy a campfire kit from IKEA..."

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: You know, you don't half look like that guy who always dies horribly in 20th century science fiction. Let's hope that's not an omen.

Worf: *Crosses Arms* I don't care if you did beat me in this year's Mr Enterprise contest, you shall not have my sash!

Picard: "Strong and Stable"?

Picard: "Row, row, row your boat..."

Picard: OK, you want this seat...I'll fight you for it!

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Look, I've only just lived down the Robin Hood Men in Tights jibes. Could we not tell anyone we fought an invisible monster with a couple of cheese knives?

Worf: Kirk.
Riker: Picard.
Worf: Kirk.
Riker: Picard.
Worf: Kirk.
Riker: Picard.
Data: Gentlemen perhaps we should say that both captains, each in his own way, had the legs for a skant.

Picard: "The Darmok Guide to Messing with Alien Universal Translators." Chapter One: Verbs....??

Picard: Gilgamesh and Enkidu at Uruk -
Dathon: Temba, skipping ahead to industrialization.

Picard: He even had it inscribed for me....
Riker: "Darmok, seeing lights of four" ??
Picard: Yeah, I don't get it either.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Dathon: From inside the house, the call traced.

 

[Ithekro]

Picard: Wait, you mean there are suppose to be energy beams coming out of these hilts?

 

[Tenacity]

Despite Picard's urban demeanor, you have to be careful around him.

Because he'll cut you.

 

[Mojochi]

Picard: Is there some reason why I should like you better than this other creature you want me to stab? He didn't kidnap me!

Data wondered if it would be rude to draw attention to the sexual tension

Captain's Log: I'll have to inform Commander Data that primitive survival guides should be a little lighter on flow charts

Picard: What's important to take from all this, is if I were the one dying, you people would be in some seriously deep shit

Picard: He who lives by the sword... ruins a perfectly good shirt

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATHON: Totally shouldn't have eaten that third bag of marshmallows.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Picard: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream...

Dathon: ????

Picard: (slower and louder) Roud's row boat...

Dathon: Roud's row boat...

Picard: ... on the stream!

...

 

[LeadHead]

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