Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #509: Klingon Politics

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone!

Here's our new contest!

First up to the plate we have the "Fal-tor-Papa" Award, going to Hutchy01 for:

Soong: Remember.



Next, we have the "Missed Messages" Award, going to Laura Cynthia Chambers for:

When the captain decides to run the ship from the battle bridge and tells everyone but you...



Next, we have the "Well, duh!" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

Lore: I mean, seriously, if they ever do "Data has an evil twin" in the films, they'll have to use me, right?


Next, we have the "DOOP Captain of the Year" Award, going to shivkala for:

Picard: Soong's androids have a preset kill limit. I'll just have to send wave after wave of my own men until it's reached. Wesley, you'll lead the first wave.


Next, we have the "Dang Krusty Toy design flaws!" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

WORF: Here's your problem. Lore is set to evil. (Click)

The Award goes to Smellincofee for:

Data: Second Officer's Log: the entire ship is enjoying shore leave simutaneously. I am using the time to prepare an epic recital of my once-abbreviated Ode to Spot.

Our KBL goes to Mr Soak for:

My name is Wesley Crusher. You killed my father. Prepare to die!



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

Continuing on our journey through the Seasons of TNG, we now have the final episode of Season 4, "Redemption!"

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Gowron: For some reason, I am going to be sworn in as Chancellor of the Klingon Empire any minute now, but I still only have a Lieutenant's armor!

Guinan: Hand over the commbadge or I'll make you resign!

Going through the Lost & Found at the High Council chambers got awkward sometimes.

Worf: No, don't speak. Some of you don't have any lines this episode anyway.

Romulan: On Romulus, the birds are Angry AND Manipulative.

 

[Captain Crow]

Picard: HUZZAH!!

[sound of breaking dishes and clanking utensils followed by prolonged sound of a single plate coming to a rest.]

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win!

Gowron: Thank you Captain, for assisting me in this honor. My only hope is that I don't screw things up by getting jealous at one of my Generals, putting him in a position where Worf has to fight me to the death.

Picard: That's...rather specific.

Worf: Mustard yellow is my color! Your fashion choice is without honor!

Picard: Here you go, Gowron. Ignore the smell, apparently, K'mpec loved onions.

Data First Officer's Log--the way we are gathering makes me think this is some kind of finale to a season of our adventures. They are probably wondering if Worf will ever return, thus creating the feeling of hanging off of a cliff. Apparently, we will have to wait until the fall for a resolution to this plot. These humans are intriguing in their customs. Apparently, this has been happening for hundreds of years. After I did some research, I found it took several months to find out who killed J.R.

Romulan: Oh, that Garfield. He hates Mondays

Duras: They are without honor!

 

[Finn]

Captain's log:... some kind of genetic engineering or a virus...?!?

Guinan: You know that on Qu'nos, wearing yellow usually means you like bondage, right?

Gowron: What's next...you have some influence in the Romulan leadership?

Second officer's log: As a promise to the Captain and Counselor Troi, I kept my non-duty related critiques to myself. For instance, I didnt tell Worf his fly was open...

Romulan: *chortles*

Lursa: What?

Romulan: Just my mother complaining about her two sisters. They have been doing crazy stuff in a little 70 year old ship. Imagine that! Who would be crazy enough to do that with their sister?

 

[Jedman67]

GUINAN: "I know what you're thinking: "Did she fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Phaser, the most powerful weapon in the Federation, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?"
WORF: "Your phaser is without honor!!"
GUINAN: *fires*

DATA: "INTRUDER ALERT!!"
WORF: "Data, it's me. It's Worf."
DATA: "Intruder update. Klingon is impersonating Lt. Worf. Be advised, he is armed and dang-"
RIKER: *turns Data off*

 

[Jedman67]

LURSA: "As you can see, this app offers a unique experience to the individual. It lets you upload pictures, tag friends, even stream events with live video. We anticipate market penetration doubling every 18 months for the next four years."
ROMULAN: "We already have Facebook on Romulus."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Movar: I've been going through Earth's historical database. This "President Trump" could teach my people a thing or two about treachery...

B'Etor: Dead Tribble hairpieces are without honor!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

PICARD: You realize I only picked you because you suck less than Duras, right? Just want to be clear on this. You won by smelling slightly better than poop.

WORF: I play on level 16.
GUINAN: Hmm. I guess I could come down to that.
WORF: ...Uh huh. Can I have them back later please?
GUINAN: Have what back?
WORF: My testicles.

GOWRON: Wait, wait. Am I becoming Chancellor or getting married?
PICARD: Bring forth Lady Sansa.
GOWRON: Wow. That girl can not catch a break.

WORF: It's okay, I can serve in a foreign military and come back to Starfleet whenever I want.

LURSA: What are you doing?
MOVAK: Flaming Gowron on Twitter. He's going insane.

 

[Noname Given]

Clip Taken From the UFP History series: "Unknown Career Choices of Famous StarFleet Captains"

Announcer: "Some think Fedration Captain Jean-Luc Picard's only other career pursuit was Archaeology. Not true. While teaching at StarFleet Academy, in his off time he took a part time job as a Human Coat Rack at a posh Klingon themed restaurant in the 'Fisherman's Wharf' district of San Francisco."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clip taken from the UFP "Great Mistakes of Galactic History" Series:

Announcer: "Here we see what ended the Klingon/Romulan Alliance that had lasted through most of the latter 23rd century. Romulan Ambassador Ashe is seen here playing Pokemon Go in the Great Hall after the Klingon High Council had specifically forbidden catching Pokemon during diplomatic sessions. This lead tom the dissolution of the Alliance and the first Klingom/Romulan War. Afterwards the High Council re-wrote their history records to make it appear the Klingon/Romulan Alliance of the 23rd century never existed; and the Klingon and Romulans had ALWAYS been enemies."

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[rcjames]

Gowron: Why am I sitting in the kiddie chair?

Guinan: This just wont do! I want to see the costume designer now!

Picard: Doesnt it seem ridiculous to everyone that I'm choosing the next leader of the Klingon Empire? Like I get Kmpec chose me but c'mon it really is ridiculous.

Picard: Last years cliffhanger was so much cooler.

Movar: Aww look at the kitty.

Be'tor: Looks delicious.

 

[Triskelion]

Gowron: Just ignore it.

 

[inflatabledalek]

TFTW LH!

Picard: So you might say that if I select you then it's a case of Gowr-on. And If I don't, it's a case of Gowr-off.

Guinan: I've seen Klingons laugh.

Worf: You've seen me laugh. Back at the start of Yesterday's Enterprise?

Guinan: Oh come on, we can ignore that. No way that episode is important to remember in order to understand this one.

Gowron: Get those women out of here! Women are not allowed on the High Council!

Picard: Err...you had a woman chancellor about 80 years ago.

Gowron: That was our purple blood phase. We do not talk about it with outsiders.

Marina Sirtis trying her best to stop the crew staring at her arse.

Happy Romulan's Personal Log: I don't think she noticed I took a boobie photo.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Lursa: "Stop chuckling to yourself at every point of continuity I overlooked and try to enjoy my fanfiction!"
Movar: "Overlooked? You mean this isn't an AU story?"
Lursa: "You thought I was...oh, yeah. That's exactly what I was doing."
Movar: "You're a terrible liar."

Picard: "Why does everybody always want me to play the butler?"
Klingon: "Typecasting."

 

[Honorable Ensign]

Guinan was SERIOUS about no one beating her high score.

Picard tried to win the Klingons over by showing off Federation laundry technology. "As you see, gentlemen, the stain is gone!"

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!