Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #469: Exciting!

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Now there's your problem..." Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

Q: A little help here?


Next, we have the "Another new uniform?" Award, going to Bry_Sinclair, for:

Fajio: I've got the contract for the new Starfleet uniforms, so what do you think? I'm going for lavender, peach, and turquoise. All are form-fitting, breathable, durable, and self-cleaning.


Next, we have the "Dixon Hill Pi-vate Investigator" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Dame: Why does your door say Dixon Hill, 3.141592653589793?
Dix: My second officer is an idiot.

Next, we have the "Maybe you should have looked at that before you checked in..." Award, going to Honorable Ensign for:

This hotel has poor ratings in cleanliness, amenities, and design, according to reviews on "Yelp."


Next, we have the "Riker really wishes you had kept that quiet" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

TAM ELBRUN: And yes Commander Riker, I know exactly how many Ensigns you are dating.

Shivkala takes this award for a great noir entry.

Picard: Captain's Personal Log--There she was, heart as black as her heels and legs that seemed to go on for days...

The Klingons are feeling a lot of laughter today, so two KBL's!

First we have Laura Cynthia Chambers bringing us laughs with:

Fajo: "Trust me, it's YOU."
Data: "Odd. It does not resemble me in the slightest."

And secondly, we have inflatabledalek, bringing us:

Q: You said you like a guy who was off the wall...



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: Worf, when I said "Get a lock and do it," I meant with the transporters, not phasers.

Worf: When I get my hands on that Wesley Crusher...

James Bond: Shocking.

Worf: I shouldn't have had that second helping of gagh.

La Forge: Why don't we ever go anywhere nice?

 

[Santa Kang]

GEORDI: I guess you could say.....
Puts on VISOR
...this planet went out with a bang.
YEAAAAHHH!

WORF: When I find out who replaced the Red Alert klaxon with "Yakety Sax".....

 

[Santa Kang]

WORF: We are under attack, Commander! This is no time to pose for a head shot!!!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Riker: "Wow!"
Geordi: "This new HD viewscreen is fantastic."

Worf: "Dammit! If I could lean into corners like Riker, I could hide that continuity error behind me!"

Yar: "Will someone tell that idiot Ensign McLeod to put that stupid sword away!"

Worf: "We're being hailed by the Borg... It seems that the Borg have assimilated tribbles!"
Riker: "Red alert, shields up."
off screen: "prrr prrr prrr prrr prrr prrr" translation "Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated."
Worf: "Permission to shit myself, Commander."
Riker: "Denied. We're at red alert, mister!"
Worf: "I was sort of asking for retroactive permission."

Geordi: "And this, Data is why we keep cats out of engineering!"

 

[Finngle Bells]

First Officer's Log: LaForge was able to observe a lot of...whatever...in the explosion with the use of his visor. Picard says his findings would help him make...decisions. Data explained how what Geordi saw was possible. Beverly complained about how this could make the crew sick. Deanna felt pain. Worf wanted to fire his phaser again. All I could think about was whether I could get a visor of my own and use them to look at babes on Risa and win poker more often.

Riker: (OS)...I win, Deanna. I told you folks would start running if they saw Worf run like that.

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win Head of the Lead!

Geordi: I told you this would happen when we found that cryoship and thawed out George Lucas. He just can't stop re-doing Star Wars!

Random Guy: Personal Log-I can't believe, the old "He want that-a-way" bit worked on Worf!

Denise Crosby: "Let that Japanese guy known for tentacle porn direct," They said...

Worf: Permission to fire phasers, now, Commander?

Riker: No, let's try a more diplomatic approach.

Worf: Denying my suggestions just to screw with me and getting us blown up is without honor!

Riker: It sure is lucky that falling debris missed Data, LaForge, and I, isn't it Ensign? Ensign? Riker to Enterprise, we lost another unnamed Ensign!

 

[jep]

Tasha learns the hard way that her... special toy... is not compatible with the ship's on-board power system.

.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

RIKER: There it is. The planet where we store all our continuity.

WORF: Prepare to engage the enemy. Remember, always engage them in parts of the ship with absolutely no useful cover.
ENSIGN: Of course.

PICARD: No, no! This may be the electric entity's way of establishing peaceful relationships! Make no aggressive movements!
TASHA: Screw you!

(BOOM)
WORF: Commander, I think it's time we finally raised shields!
RIKER: I don't think that's necessary Mister Worf.
(BOOM)

A very special episode where Riker went on a magical Christmas adventure learned the true meaning of friendship.

 

[Smellincoffee]

GOLDSHIRTS is filmed on LOCATION with the men and women of Starfleet Security. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
(Bad boys, bad boys, whatchoo gonna do?)

Turns out the "Don't Touch" button was legit.

Riker: Do a uey, Worf.
Worf: On the bridge?!
Riker: *sigh* Reverse heading.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Leadhead!

The real reason for Crosby's departure:

Picard told Groppler Zorn the Ferengi were cannibals in Encounter At Far Point! Continuity error!
NERD RAGE ACTIVATE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Santa Kang]

RICKY REDHIRT: Hey, no running in the hallls!
WORF: Shut up, Ricky!!!!

 

[Hutchy01]

Two audio entries:
Baywatch:

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[Santa Kang]

LAFORGE: Wow, its like we were there
RIKER: We are there! .

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Tasha: Well, yes, Admiral Numan, friends ARE electric!

 

[Eydie Munroe]

Riker: I knew I never should have let you two try this at home.

Security Officer: Dammit Worf, tagging me when my back is turned is against the rules!

Tasha: I knew following Luke Skywalker to the Death Star was a bad idea.

Riker: Worf, I know you love it, but Andorian porn is really not my thing.

Riker: This is the lamest escape room ever. Next time, Data, I’m picking the activity for our night off.

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Dammit Data! I said scan the planet with a polaron beam!
Data: Thought you said colaron beam, Commander.
Geordi: So long Planet Mentos.

Charlie Whitepants: Hey where's the fire.

Yar: I shoulda took that job as a towel boy on Risa!

Riker: First Officer's Log, Supplemental: Whoever told ship's security to remain "ever vigilant" should have said something about bathroom breaks.

Geordi: Commander, you hold that one-ton beam steady, and Data, you visually scan the composite for torsion stress! I will give the orders!
Riker: Geordi, rotate your frequency!

 

[jep]

LaForge: "What the... "

Riker: "Well, this certainly doesn't look good."

Data: "Hallowed are the Ori."

.

 

[jep]

DI Worf: HERE WE GO!
Recruits: Here we go

DI Worf: ALL THE WAY!
Recruits: All the way

DI Worf: EVERY DAY!
Recruits: Every day

DI WORF: ROCK ROCK ROCK ROCK STEADY!
Recruits: Rock rock rock rock steady

Voiceover: Starfleet Reserve personnel use their skills to make Starfleet even more capable, and gain the tools to make themselves even more successful. Learn how at StarFleetReserve.com.

.

 

[jep]

Worf realizes he might have consumed a bit too much of the 'Warrior's Drink'.

.