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Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #467: Collaborative Work

LeadHead

Director of Comedy
Premium Member
Hello and welcome to the new contest!

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First up to the plate, we have the "Too many Riker's" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

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O'BRIEN (Offscreen): We've detected a problem during transport. The transporter beam was duplicated again!
PICARD: So now there are three Rikers?
O'BRIEN: Yes.
PICARD: My God. Get out of here, quick! Warp 8! Don't tell Will.



Next, we have the "Biggest Plot Twist Ever!" Award, going to inflatabledalek for:

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Warp Flash Effect: Hello! Yes, it's me, I was the surprise villain all along. You'd have thought you twerps would have worked it out before now considering I've been following your ship all series.



Next, we have the "Bad Career Choices" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

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Geordi came to regret the decision to leave Starfleet and join the Pakled boyband, No Direction.



Next, we have the "Vital Protection" Award, going to The Laughing Vulcan for:

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Crusher: "I must insist as CMO that you report to sickbay for your routine physical, Captain. You've been putting it off for months."
Troi: "And your psychological evaluation is out of date, Starfleet regulations..."
Picard: "Computer, activate anti-nag field"



Next, we have the "Important Instructions" Award, going to Leviathan for:

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Force Ghost Picard: You must go to the Dagobah System...


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The Award goes to Triskelion for:

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Captain's log, supplemental: Away mission bug zapper duty shall no longer be determined by random draw!



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Our KBL Award goes to thapdevenport for:

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Picard: "Okay, now lengthen the hair. Part it down a side. Yes, that's good. Now remove the beard. Ummm, on second thought, put the beard back."

Worf: "Sir, commander Riker is not Mr. Potato Head."



Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

I am pleased to announce that our puzzle has been solved.

Lords of Waterdeep?

Lords of Waterdeep is correct!

For those of you who don't know, Lords of Waterdeep is a resources management board game, While you might be expecting that it's one of the board games that typically takes 3-4 hours to play, it's more like 1-2. :) It's a fun game and if you know somebody who has it, I recommend giving it a try.

I'll explain the clues:

All of the thread titles are Intriguing.
Ambush!
Free Drinks!
Inevitable Betrayal
Research Agreement
Honorable Example
Crime Wave
Manipulate
Call in a Favor
Call for Adventurers
Mandatory Quest
Open Lord
Recall Agent

The Thread Titles are all the titles of Intrigue Cards from the game.

Other clues:

Wil Wheaton is connected to this pattern and it has nothing to do with Mass Effect or The Big Bang Theory.
The Wil Wheaton connection also connects Patrick Rothfuss and Felicia Day to this.
Wil Wheaton, Felicia Day & Patrick Rothfuss played this game on an episode of the Geek n' Sundry show, Tabletop.

The mystery is related to Dungeons & Dragons (but not to a movie)
The game is based on Dungeons & Dragons.

Apologies if the fill in the blanks were confusing. I formatted them to make more sense than they turned out looking in the posts.

Congratulations to dstyer!


And now a new contest! (and the title is not part of some puzzle)

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Enjoy!
 
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Worf: I'm sorry, Sir. No one besides Data or Geordi knows how to use these consoles.

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Picard: It's not working.

La Forge: You have to tickle this tricorder to get it to work.

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La Forge: Okay, I didn't fix it after all.

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Barclay: I though you said if I opened the container you'd do the rest.

La Forge: I was hoping you'd buy that.

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Data: You can stop searching, Doctor. The Bathroom is not listed on this schematic, either.
 
T4TJLFLEALH!
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Troi: Unbelievable!
Picard: Astonishing!
Worf: Impossible!
Riker: Silly.


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Geordi: Check it out. Dancing Doctor on Youtube.
Picard: Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker. In tap.


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Data: I told you there was a warp ten threshold.
Geordi: No, you've just crossed the Party Like It's Warp 9.99 barrier.


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Barclay: Is this enough ranch dressing for the Golden Girls marathon?
Geordi: Friday nights rule.


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Crusher: There seems to be some kind of giant mutant space goose attacking the ship.
Data: That is the ship.
 
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Troi: Counselor's Personal Log-Hold it together, Deanna. Act like you know what the screen says or they won't trust you with this stuff again and you'll be back to saying things like, "I sense hostility from the alien, Captain."

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Picard: Now it's showing a loser who can't score a date with a woman.
Geordi: Damn, I thought it was fixed!
Picard: No, that was my point, it's working perfectly!

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Geordi: I did tell you my engineering skills would shock you...I'll show myself out.

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Barclay: No luck, it's vanilla also.
Geordi: Reg, this is bad news. I vote you tell Counselor Troi.

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Data: Doctor, what are you doing?
Crusher: Wesley and I had an argument last night about whose job was more difficult. So we agreed to switch jobs today.
Data: That is unwise, while young, Ensign Crusher's duties are quite delicate and involve a high level of control over the functions of the ship. This "bet" is a very dangerous idea.
Crusher: That's what I said about Wesley performing brain surgery on the Romulan ambassador. One wrong move and we're at war!
 
Thanks for the win Leadhead!

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Worf: "I have reconfigured the aft tactical controls to emulate a Moog synthesizer. Prog rock night is a go."
Riker: "Officer thinking, Mister Worf."
Troi: "This Rick Wakeman keyboard solo has been going on for five hours now. It will be difficult to emulate."
Picard: "Do your best Counsellor. The Sheliak ambassasor is a big Yes fan."

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Picard: "What is it?"
LaForge: "It's a tricorder, but that's not important right now."

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Data: "Geordi, is it inappropriate that I am being sexually aroused by this systems malfunction?"

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Barclay: "I'm just saying that given a historical perspective, I would have voted Trump in the 2016 election. He seemed a candidate with his head screwed on right."
LaForge: "A crazy fool like you won't get far in Starfleet!"

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Brent Spiner's Diary Entry, March 14th: My respect for Patrick Stewart as a versatile actor doubled today, when he stood in for Gates during a bridge scene. The way he assumed the role! From the back he looked exactly like her.
 
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RIKER: None of you have a clue about what you're looking at, do you?

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REG: Do we have to do this every time the Chief brings us some of Keiko's cooking?

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GEORDI: It's some fiction I've been working on.

PICARD: So the lovers, "Leanne Bronze" and "Joey LaForte" aren't based on real people? Because if they were, Leanne would be seriously creeped out
 
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Troi: "Captain, I am sensing a hostile presence."
Picard: "Very good, counselor! Mr. Worf, is the enemy ship still firing at us?"

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Barclay: (singing) "You put your right leg in, take your right leg out. You do the hokey pokey and turn yourself about...."
LaForge: "Reg!! For the last time, no singing on morgue duty!!"
 
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Barclay: "Ew. Now we know what happened to Molly O'Brien's diaper pail."
LaForge: *snickers*
Barclay: "What?"
LaForge: *snickers* "Nothing." *snickers* "Didn't she just get over a case of Solithian swine flu?"
Barclay: "Yeah, I heard that..." *thinks for a moment, then runs out of the room all panicky*
LaForge (calling over his shoulder): "Say hi to Dr. Crusher for me!"
 
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Captain's Log: I found a perfect birthday gift for Beverly, that would get me out of doing the play and probably breakfast for a month. I should thank Geordi for showing me a picture of what he got his date last week.
 
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Picard: LaForge, why is the ship stocked with these? Is it some sort of retro-hipster callback?
LaForge: They're rugged! You can drop these babies on the floor all day long, throw `em out into open space, crash-land the ship, and they'll still purr like nobody's business.
Picard: Mr. LaForge, this is the Federation flagship. We do not crash-land.

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LaForge: DATA! WAIT! THE CONSOLE IS M-
Data, singed: ...composed of explodium. Yes, commander, I have discovered this.

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Barclay: Why the interest in Pakled manure composters, commander?
LaForge: Wait, what?!

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Data: Intriguing. Doctor, why do you have a video feed patched into the captain's ready room?
Crusher: I'm...monitoring his fish for signs of infection.
Data: Would it not be more efficient to scan them directly?
Crusher: I'm the doctor, Data. Trust the professional.
 
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Crusher: It says here that there used to be screens with liquid crystal displays that could be powered by a 9 volt battery, and almost never exploded on the user.
Data: Ain't that some bullshit?
Crusher: You used a contraction!
Data: I downloaded a text-to-speech program from 1995.
Crusher: Ain't that some bullshit!
 
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CRUSHER: What's this a picture of?
DATA: Looks like someone isn't passing the Bridge Officer's Test any time soon.
 
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LAFORGE: Whats the name on this positronic brain?
BARCLAY: Abe Normal
LAFORGE: Sounds good. Box it up and let's install it in Data.
 
Okay, I dunno how to add the image to my post, but:

Barclay: "Ew. Now we know what happened to Molly O'Brien's diaper pail."
LaForge: *snickers*
Barclay: "What?"
LaForge: *snickers* "Nothing." *snickers* "Didn't she just get over a case of Solithian swine flu?"
Barclay: "Yeah, I heard that..." *thinks for a moment, then runs out of the room all panicky*
LaForge (calling over his shoulder): "Say hi to Dr. Crusher for me!"
Code:
[img]http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x54/TrueX-Ray/TNG%20Caption%20This/TNGCaption289d.jpg[/img]
 
^ At the bottom of your post, on the left side near your name, there is are options for "Edit Delete Report". Welcome to the capcon Laura Cynthia Chambers! :hugegrin:
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Geordi: Turn on the sensors.
<console explodes>
Geordi: Set warp intermix ratio to minimum.
<console explodes>
Geordi: Reroute power from auxiliary systems to main navigation.
<console explodes>
Geordi: Turn off your left blinker
<console explodes>
Geordi: Interlock the warptronic suffusion matrix module.
<console explodes>
Geordi: Oh come on, that one wasn't even a thing!


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Geordi: - and if we only used Tricorder and PADD screen technology for all our interfaces, well they might not explode in our faces anymore.
Picard: I'll drop a suggestion in the suggestion box outside conference room D next time I'm at Starfleet Command; along with Beverly's request for odorless Lemon Pledge. Though it would no longer be Lemon Pledge at that point.
 
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TROI: That's it! One moon circles! Hydrogen!
PICARD: Good thing we used the only explosive substance codex in the world that happens to have spherical diagrams of the molecule.
TROI: Yes, a very good thing! To any actual scientist those diagrams would have next to no value!

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PICARD: These are some strange readings.
GEORDI: The tricorder is upside down.

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DATA: This console is surge protected, right?
GEORDI: No Data, WAIT!

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GEORDI: Good to have you on, Reg. Why didn't you tell us you were a Last Minute Ship Saving Specialist? We'll be needing one to replace Wesley.

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BEVERLY: I'm no engineer, but I know my way around a...hey, what's that?
DATA: That's the starboard nacelle.
BEVERLY: Ahh. Hey, what's that?
DATA: That's the port nacelle.
BEVERLY: I see. Hey!
DATA. That's the starboard nacelle again.
 
Awesome sauce for the win LH!


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Troi: It seems we're about to fly into another reason of complete blackness...

Picard: No matter, no energy, just literal emptiness...

Riker: Should we tell them that console is off?


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Geordi: But is it normal?

Picard: What, taking pictures of it and showing it to your mates? No it's not!


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Data: I believe the obligatory quote is "Frying tonight".


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Geordi: Terrible packing, the item is completely smashed! Straight onto the Ebay app to leave negative feedback!


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Data: Dr. Pulaski, I doubt your latest attempt to win the Captain's favour will go down well.
 
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