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Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #463: Call for Adventurers

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Worf: So what did you do, Sir?

Picard:
I did what every red-blooded male would do, I said, "Doctor, your patient is ready," and proceeded to have the best three hours of sex I have ever had.

Troi: Wasn't there an emergency we had to intervene in or something?

Worf: Do not be such a prude, Counselor!

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Riker: Oh, Captain, don't be...

Picard: That's not a square, Commander!

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Worf: Security Officer's Log-Note to self, queue up, "Damn It's Good to be a Gangsta," from the Office Space soundtrack the next time I roll into the holodeck with my boys.

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LaForge: "Park right here, Mr. LaForge," you said. "There's a 'No Shuttlepod Parking' sign," I said. "It's okay, we have a shuttlecraft, not a shuttlepod," you said. I think my point has been proven.

Riker: Don't be that guy, Geordi, no one likes that guy.

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Data: I read recently that in the next ten years they should be able to miniaturize transporter technology into a wearable pin, not unlike our communicators, thus eliminating the need for a transporter room such as this one or a transporter chief position.

O'Brien: Maybe there's a remote outpost which could use an engineer, then, so I can avoid being laid off.

Worf: You'd never catch me on a remote outpost!
 
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Data: Mr. Worf, are you sure this is what the captain meant when he insisted we beam down armed?


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Picard: Mr. O'Brien, do not let any of the alien ambassadors out of the transporter room until I come and get them.

O'Brien: Got it, sir. Not to let them out of this room, even if you come and get them.

Picard: No, Chief, until I come and get them.

O'Brien: Until you come and get them, the ambassadors are not allowed to enter the transporter room.

Picard: No, they're not allowed to LEAVE the transporter room.

O'Brien: I see, sir. I don't need to do anything apart from just stop them from entering the room.

Picard: LEAVING the room!!!

O'Brien: Leaving the room, yes.
 
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Geordi: The ship's black box indicated the commanding officer failed to check a subordinate for a surveillance device that was hidden on him after being held hostage.

Riker: What a moron
 
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That moment when O'Brien realizes that now the Captain is going to come directly to him for all ship in a bottle related conversation from now on.

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GEORDI: So you came because Guinan told you you had to?
PICARD: Yes.
GEORDI: If Guinan told you to jump off a bridge would you do it?
PICARD: I did! Most fun I ever had in my life.

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Worf takes his play time very seriously.

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WORF: What do these armbands do?
O'BRIEN: They protect you from the thing that stopped you last time.
WORF: And what stopped us last time?
O'BRIEN: It doesn't matter. The armbands know.
WORF: These are awesome armbands.
 
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PICARD: "Mister O'Brien, before you beam us down, I don't want you using that finger-slide mechanism, anymore. It's a redundant feature, for one thing. For another, I don't need each and every transporter experience to be unique, unto itself."

O'BRIEN: "Captain, I'm a professional. I know what I'm doing, here. Believe me when I tell you that, sir."

PICARD: "Let the computer handle it from now, on, Chief....!"
 
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Data: I want you to run a diagnostic on this babe magnetizer unit, Chief. It does not seem to be functional.
Worf: Mine's working all right.
O'Brien: Mm-hm.


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Worf: Computer, run program A Few Good Klingon Warrior Men.
Trevor: "You want the pointy boots?? You can't handle the pointy boots!"
Worf: Not yet, Trevor! Gosh!
 
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Worf: Run Program Worf Two Alpha Prune Five

*a streetside cafe in Minsk materalizes*

Worf: They got the best Prune juice in the Sol Sector here

*security officers leave* Other time....sir
 
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Picard: So what is your actual rank Mr O'Brien?


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Picard: Trust me, this will be a much better rave when we're off our tits on crack.


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Worf: The size and number of exits from this room is inconsistent from episode to episode! We're not leaving till I have a satisfactory explanation!


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Riker: See! You all weren't certain when I turned down another command, but once again within a week the ship I was offered has been destroyed!


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Data: This activates the "Character Armour" than will ensure that, as lead characters, we come to no harm in dangerous situations.

O'Brien: Do I get one?

Data: No.
 
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