K'Ehleyr: I think I wore your cup by mistake.
Worf: Well that explains why I have to sit hard to starboard.
Picard: I like your flail.
Troi: I think it's some kind of a mace.
Geordi: No, it's a war club.
Yar: Maybe it's a morning star.
Picard: No, it has too many spiky things on it.
Troi: That's it - it's a spiky flail.
Geordi: Hm, she's wielding a spiked mace more like.
Troi: But clearly you're supposed flail your arms to wield it.
Yar: But I'm not wielding it, I'm wearing it. Like a glove.
Picard: Or a prophylactic from hell.
Geordi: At any rate it looks really wieldy.
Troi: I think you mean unwieldy, Geordi.
Geordi: No - isn't that one of those words whose opposite means the same thing, like, like -
Picard: Flammable and inflammable?
Geordi: No....
Troi: I think he means one word with opposite meanings, like...cleave? Is it a cleaver?
Picard: No, he means a contronym - that is one word that you say differently with different meanings, like "resign" and "re-sign".
Troi: Isn't that a homograph?
Picard: I thought that was when you have one word with two meanings, like when you sanction an award as opposed to awarding a sanction.
Geordi: No, a homograph is that picture of the guy in a skant.
Yar: And I thought I was the one flailing today.
Data: Order in the court!
Picard: Yes I will have the pan bagnat with Starkist Chicken-of-the-Sea and olives, a salade Lyonniase, and for the pièce de résistance, un coq au vin, if the vin is of my eponymous vintage.
Data: Where do I even start. Château Douchebag?
Satie: Captain Picard, is it true that a morning star and a spiked flail are very nearly the same thing? And I remind you that you are under oath.
Picard: Well I'm no expert, but I think, that is, perhaps...
Satie: Or are you taking the position that a double-ball flail and a flanged mace are virtually the same thing?? Whats next, a heavy warhammer is tantamount to a footman's flail? Well? Well??
Picard: I believe it was Judge Aaron Satie who said that a twin-spiked ball flail is nothing but a war mallet with an inferiority complex....
Satie: How dare you use his words to subvert the Medieval Armorer's Society Guild of Pointy Battle Weaponry! I have brought down bigger archaic hand-smithed weapon aficianados than you, Picard!
Haftel: No, you sheath a dagger. You scabbard a sword.
Picard: What about a machete?
Haftel: This is why the admiralty hates you.
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