TNG Caption This! #447: Weather Conditions

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! New Contest Time!

First up to the plate, we have the "Freemium" Award, going to shivkala for:​

Picard: In the early 21st Century app designers made fairly simple games which started off easy and gradually became more difficult to force you to buy in-app "power-ups." Thankfully, we've moved past that.

Next, we have the "Crucial Equipment" Award, going to Hux for:​

Data: Sorry to interrupt your game counsellor but the captain really needs the salt shaker.

Next, we have the "Poker Knowledge" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:​

RIKER: Poker is a game of guile, of wit, of...
BEVERLY: Ooh! I got all the clovers!
RIKER: ...Damn it.

Next, we have the "Hey! That's just not right!" Award, going to bbjeg for:​

Announcer: It's the fight of the century! The cold blooded, bone braking, blood spilling, unbeatable champion, and the Klingon.

Next, we have the "But does it smell nice?" Award, going to Triskelion for:​

Riker: <touches piece>: ...?
Wesley: <shakes head>
Riker: <touches piece>: ...?
Wesley: <shakes head>
Riker: <touches piece>: ...?
Wesley: <shakes head>
Riker: THAT'S ALL THE CHESS PIECES!
Wesley: Chess? This is the perfume counter.

This weeks KBL award goes to Bry_Sinclair for:​

Twenty-fourth century interspecies sex education, lesson one.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, hoping that the east coast of the US is doing well, our theme for the next contest is the weather and strange conditions in the great outdoors.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

First Officers Log: The Firecaves of Bajor were much more impressive then the Smokebridge of Ferenginar.

Worf: Worf to Enterprise. You forgot to beam me up with the rest of the Away Team. Enterprise? Enterprise?!!

Picard: Analysis, Mister Data.

Data: I recommend we raise shields otherwise we'll never get the smell of the Tobaccan IV atmosphere out of this ship.

Troi: Will, why did you tell that Ensign to stand up on the hill?!

Riker: Now we know that being the tallest thing in the area during a lightning storm is a bad thing!

Troi: WE KNEW THAT BEFORE!

Picard: Wear the new jacket, they said. It'll keep you warm anywhere, they said...

 

[Orac]

Worf: This planet looks so fake!

Troi: Am I doing it right?
Riker: Huh? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What are you talking about?

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

The final picture is almost too black to make out. Any chance you can increase the brightness?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

VOICE: What is your name?
GEORDI: Geordi La Forge!
VOICE: What is your quest?
GEORDI: Save the Enterprise!
VOICE: What is a parsec a measure of?
GEORDI: Time...AHHHHHHHHHH!

WORF: So that's where the redshirts went. Oops.

PICARD: What just happened?
DATA: It appears...Q sneezed.
PICARD: Activate the windshield wipers!

TROI: I can't activate...the magic transporter triangle!
RIKER: Is that what it's called?
TROI: I forget, just go with it!

The day Patrick Stewart drifted off in the prop closet and nobody could find him.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: I'm a Starfleet Security Officer on a icy planet, staring into a dangerous precipice with his back turned. What's the worst that could happen?

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Worf: It is true, somehow this planet's weather exactly reflects my mood.

 

[Gepard]

"Should the final frontier have dirt and grass and be rushing right at us?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

"Should the final frontier have dirt and grass and be rushing right at us?"

DATA:Aim for the gazelle giving birth.

 

[Orac]

Riker: Get on top of it!
Troi: I'm trying!

 

[Noname Given]

Lt. Geordi LaForge: "The sign says this is the 'Cannabis 420' bridge...interesting, eh?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Scans show a possibility of Holy Grail and Gandalf references.

 

[LeadHead]

The final picture is almost too black to make out. Any chance you can increase the brightness?

I hope this works better!

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: I don't think that plane's gonna wait till we set up the runway lights to land.

 

[Orac]

Riker: You did it!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Riker: "Geordi, when someone asks if you are a god, you say YES!"

Worf: "Worf to Enterprise, the Borg are on ice..."

Crickets

"On ice... get it? It is a joke."

os "Data to Worf. As an android, I have no sense of humour, but even I could realise just how small of a joke that was."

Blonde: "What is this? Some kind of nebula, a planetary surface?"
Data: "This is pornography."
Blonde: "What?"
Data: "The image of a female nipple. I've increased the magnification by 10 million. Does that not make it even more erotic?"

Riker: "Everyone else is done Deanna, what's taking you so long with the pattern enhancer?"
Troi: "I'm a trained psychiatrist and counsellor. It takes me an extra ten minutes to get past the whole phallic symbolism of the device first."

"Captain's Personal Log: It's been fifteen hours and I have yet to spot a single snipe. I'm beginning to think that Riker wasn't completely forthright with me. I shall give it another five hours to come up with a decent story about the one that got away..."

 

[Finn]

Worf: As charming as Minsk...

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Is this really the best use of our new sensors?
RIKER: Just inform the Captain that there is no sign of new hair growth.

 

[Catarina]

World of Warcraft: Mists of Latinum

Picard OS: There's Earl Grey in that nebula.

 

[2takesfrakes]

PICARD (offscreen): "Now take a left over Frigia, the next moon rising. Every moon of Mongo is a kingdom ..."