TNG Caption This! #443: That new Shuttlecraft smell...

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest! Starting (technically) still on the weekend!

First up to the plate, we have the "Brain and Brain! What is BRAIN FREEZE?!" Award, going to:

Data: My internal thermometer indicates we should attenuate our fluidic intake in order to reduce the brain freeze covariant.
Kid: TOO LATE! CASCADE FAILURE! CASCADE FAILURE!
Data: Ha ha ha what a little idio - CASCADE FAILURE! CASCADE FAILURE!

Next, we have the "Apeture Science Appreciation" Award, going to:

Worf: This is a lie!

Next, we have the "Mistakes" Award, going to:

*Awkward Silience*

Geordi: OK, I won't ask if we can sing "Ro Ro Ro your boat" again.

Next, we have the "Secrets of the Enterprise crew" Award, going to:

Yuta: I'm pretty sure...yeah, that's a wig.

Next, we have the "Deanna's Stash" Award, going to:

Guinan: More?

Wesley: We already had three

Guinan: I gotta make room in the freezer. Deanna ordered several vats, before Barclay asked for help back on Earth again.

Timothy: "You sound like a Dyson when you suck."

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

As a special treat for the final contest of 2015, we're having an extended size contest with 7 photos instead of the usual 5! Our theme: Shuttles, those wonderful little ships that depending on the episode are extremely resilient or the most breakable things in the galaxy!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Picard to La Forge, the paint job on the port nacelle still isn't right. Have it fixed in an hour.

Riker: How are we all gonna fit in that, again?

Data: Thank you for flying Soong Shuttle-lines. We recommend that you be unconscious during your flight.

Picard: Well at least it didn't drop me into space at warp this time.

Ensign: (thinking) Please don't start chatting with me Please don't start chatting with me. Please don't start chatting with me.

Worf: So, Ensign, how are things?

Ensign: (thinking) Dangit!

Alien: (thinking) I can't believe it's so easy to rob this shuttle with him in the room!

Troi: Maybe we should pull over and ask for directions. This is the third time you took us through this nebula.

 

[T'Girl]

Lt. Worf: "It's going to be a long flight."

Ensign Hotness: "We're not having sex."

Lt. Worf: "Several hours at least."

Ensign Hotness: "We're not having sex."

Lt. Worf: "You know, aboard a Klingon ship ..."

Ensign Hotness: "We're not having sex."

Data: "... and when you place your foot under the vehicle's rear impact strip, the hatch opens all the way by itself."

Picard: "Amazing, something those unevolved 21st century primitives never would have thought of."

.

 

[Hutchy01]

Data: I thought we were trying to erase all references to Admiral Archer.

Ensign: (thinking) I'm alone in a shuttle with Commander Worf going to a planet ... I'm not going to make it back to the ship!

 

[2takesfrakes]

PICARD: "They gave her back to me, Data."

DATA: "'Gave' her back, sir? I doubt it was that easy with Nechayev."

 

[shivkala]

Picard: You ever realize how the shuttlebays and that red thing make it look like a face? It doesn't look happy. The Enterprise demands a sacrifice!

Data: Sir, have you gotten into Lt. Barclay's stash again?

Riker: We could just say we investigated this creepy-ass planet and get right back on that shuttlecraft.

Picard: You left the comm on, Number One.

Riker: Just kidding sir. mumbling to himself--*Our deaths are on your conscience baldy!*

Pulaski: Is it ironic that I'm afraid of hyposprays?

Data: Accessing. Ah. According to an early 20th century dictionary I have in my memory banks irony is "an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected." One would not expect a doctor, who is tasked with giving hypospray injections to be afraid of receiving them. However, in the late 20th Century and early 21st Century the poet Alanis Morrissette changed the definition to, "An example of really bad luck," i.e. "rain on your wedding day" or "a free ride when you've already paid."

Pulaski: Huh, it worked. Listening to you made me pray for death and consequently not care about the hypospray anymore.

Picard: Since when did the turbolift drop you right onto a shuttle...hn, it's you.

Q: Yep, time to totally screw you guys over by introducing you to the Borg! You'll hate them, but they will give you some of your best episodes, and, the best movie of your crew's turn at the franchise. Which isn't saying much. You and Enterprise pretty much kill the franchise to the point where they have to bring J.J. Abrams onboard, but he'll drop you once he gets Star Wars, which will always be more popular than you lot.

Ensign: Sir?

Worf: Yes, Ensign?

Ensign: Never mind, it's embarrassing.

Worf: Speak your mind, too often humans hide behind their social constructs of awkwardness. It in unfitting of a warrior such as yourself.

Engish: It's just...what do you use in your hair? I can't get the same shine and body with my shampoo.

Worf: Do you not use conditioner? Are you without honor?!

Kivas Fajo: Let Data do that, his programming makes him a Tetris expert, and thus, an excellent shuttlecraft packer.

Riker: And what did you say these things around us were?

Data: Safety harnesses, colloquially known as "seat belts," though they do nothing to belt the seat.

Riker: What a novel concept!

 

[T'Girl]

The Director: "Don't worry, this hard white light hitting the sides of your faces will really make you all look so much younger than you actually are."

.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker: "Data, what the hell are these?!"

Data: "Do not worry, commander, they are experimental safety devices called 'seatbelts' -- I do not believe we will be seeing them again."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Pull over and let Deanna drive.

 

[T'Girl]

Data: "Another lens flare to port Commander."

Riker: "God but I hate the Abrams nebula."

 

[indycar]

How do I put photoshopped images on this website?

 

[shivkala]

Do you have them saved to a photo-sharing site like Photobucket? Once you do, you just need to use the image tag. Put the address between [ img ][ /img ] (but delete the spaces). Photobucket provides the links with the formatting automatically after you upload the image.

 

[indycar]

 

[indycar]

Do you have them saved to a photo-sharing site like Photobucket? Once you do, you just need to use the image tag. Put the address between [ img ][ /img ] (but delete the spaces). Photobucket provides the links with the formatting automatically after you upload the image.

Thank you.

 

[Leviathan]

Data: It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good ...

Riker: Every electrical storm he does road trip quotes.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Data: According to my visual processors, the port nacelle pylon is .03 mircometers shorter than the starboard one.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Are we landing this shuttle or what?

DATA: I'm trying, but every time I get close to the bay doors, the ship lurches forward.

PICARD: I'm gonna kill that boy.

 

[indycar]

Data: Captain it appears that the ship is gradually backing up towards us.
Picard: Get out! Get out of there! Get out!

Riker: Where'd we park at?
Worf: I'll look over here.
Crusher: I'll look over there.
Data: I am unable to figure out where we parked.

Data: Doctor, what has happened to you? Your hair is a different color and you appear to be older.
Pulaski: How many times do I have to tell you: I'm not Dr. Crusher!

Ensign: The cops want you to pull over.
Worf: I'm not even doing anything wrong!
Ensign: They'll pull you over just for being a Klingon.

At that moment Data had the feeling that somebody was stealing his belongings from the shuttle.

Picard: I don't know if I want go in there. Do I really have to?

Riker: Data, I should drive! We've lost contact with Starfleet for the past 72 hours!
Troi: Will, I'm sensing anger in you.
Riker: Don't you start with me!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data: I would suggest a game of Chinese Fire Drill, captain, but I am the only one who would survive.

Worf: It is dark.
We are not wearing shades.
...
Ensign: ...
Worf: Hit it.
Ensign: It's okay, lieutenant. Not everyone can quote the Blues Brothers.

Riker: Data, flash your side vents. That jerk on our left doesn't realize his brights are on.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Cops man!

RIKER: Just remember, you were driving! I can't afford another point on my license!

TROI: My mom's gonna kill me!