TNG Caption This! #442: Tasty Treats

[hux]

Data: When we're finished, you can help me empty and clean out all of this crap from my internal shit box.

Worf: A Klingon warrior eats his soup with a knife. It's a matter of honour.

La Forge: Look, just forget about it and enjoy the food.

Ro: But it doesn't make sense. If we were out of phase then why didn't we fall through the fucking floors! Were we wearing magic fucking shoes or something?

Troi: This is wonderful.

Yuta: Oh it's nothing really. Just some green and red stuff I found on the floor.

Guinan: You don't want it? Why don't people ever seem to want my bowls of Targarian Arse Gravy? I don't get it.

 

[Finn]

Guinan: More?

Wesley: We already had three

Guinan: I gotta make room in the freezer. Deanna ordered several vats, before Barclay asked for help back on Earth again.

 

[indycar]

Troi (offscreen): Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate!
Worf: Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Yuta: I don't think one of you should eat this much food.
Riker: Oh come on, she's not that fat. I hardly notice it myself.

Geordi: Thanks, you know you were the only one to show up at my birthday party.

Girl: So am the first woman he's ever liked?
Guinan: Not exactly.

Wesley: Guinan?!

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Klingon honor demands that I ask if anyone else wants the last piece of cake.

RIKER: Stop being such a Drama Queen and just eat the damn thing!

 

[Hutchy01]

Girl: So am the first woman he's ever liked?
Guinan: Not exactly.

To quote an engineer friend of mine: Guinan: If it has three holes and a pulse he'll have a go!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Thankee for the win!

Ro Laren: You know, this is pretty festive for memorial service decor.
LaForge, eating: Mm-hmm.
Ro: You think they're happy we're dead?
LaForge: Happy I'm dead? No way. Happy you're dead? Well...Commander Riker, maybe.

LaForge: You know what's weird?
Ro: Your choice of attire off-duty.
La Forge: I was going to comment on certain inconsistencies with our being out of phase, but NEVERMIND.

Wesley: What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
Guinan: What do you mean, 'a place like this'? This happens to be a first-class lounge. And you're underage! Scram!

Worf: I have been forced to eat this ice cream with a knife. For what reason?
LaForge: Why, Worf?
Worf: THERE IS NO SPOON!
(Silence)
Data: As a student of humor, lieutenant, I must say: that was forced.

 

[inflatabledalek]

Thanks ftw Leadhead! And Merry Christmas!

Data: To be honest, the reason I need my bio-functions lubricated is not likely to be the same as yours.

Worf: We threw the boy a party when he left, now we have to throw one for him coming back? This has no honour!

*Awkward Silience*

Geordi: OK, I won't ask if we can sing "Ro Ro Ro your boat" again.

Troi: she's looking at my boobs isn't she?

Riker: You either need to change clothes or not say that Every Single Time someone does it.

Wesley: Of course, if you look at the exterior of the ship this clearly isn't Deck 10 as the windows don't properly line up with what we can see here.

Girl: Is that the cyanide special?

 

[Triskelion]

Guinan: Sorry, I gave the kid the Valvoline. He'll be all right, yeah?
Data: I'm a moon-shuttle conductor, not a doctor.

Riker: We sure didn't ask for chocolate cake on the IKS Pagh.
Worf: Guy spends one night on a Klingon ship and now he thinks he's Kahless' cha'DIch!
Riker: Mister Worf, as we liked to say on the IKS Pagh, smile when you eat the gummy worms.

Geordi: So...you gonna eat your pickle?
Ro: Yes.
Geordi: Well you're not eating it.
Ro: They can replicate you another pickle if you want.
Geordi: No, I know.
Ro: Would you like me to go replicate you another pickle?
Geordi: No, no, I just didn't want to see it go to waste, is all.
Ro: Well it's not going to go to waste. I'm going to eat it.
Geordi: I know, just -
Ro: WHEN I'M DAMNED GOOD AND READY IS WHEN!
Geordi: Geez, I didn't expect a Cardassian Occupation!
Ro: NOBODY EXPECTS A CARDASSIAN OCCUPATION!

...

Geordi: They didn't let you have pickles, did they.
Ro: Look, just take the damned pickle!
Geordi: No! I don't want it!
Ro: I INSIST!!! TAKE THE DAMNED PICKLE!
Geordi: No no, it wouldn't be right. Your people suffered incalculably for you to be free to enjoy that pickle.
Ro: Like you wouldn't believe!
Geordi: Course, I had a slave name they whipped into me...
Ro: YOU WIN, ALL RIGHT? YOU WIN THE PICKLE! THE PICKLE OF ALL THE SUFFERING IN THE UNIVERSE! TAKE IT!!! TAKE YOUR TROPHY FOR ALL TIME AND BE DAMNED WITH IT!!!
Geordi: ...Why don't I just go and replicate you a nice kosher dill so we can both just...move on.
Ro: Good! Why don't you replicate yourself a new name while you're at it!
Geordi: That's it. I'm eating that pickle.
Guinan: Hey, who took my black lesbian domestically-abused wife of an indigant sharecropper pickle from a jar marked with a pickle I couldn't even read that was given to me by Oprah Winfrey?
Geordi: Oh, shit!

Yuta: Who's a girl gotta poison to be offered a taste around here?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Woof: "Fuck you, this is my cake! Enjoy your puny replicated fruit."

"Wes, is that bartender looking at me?"

"Will, is that server looking at me?"

Ro: "Geordi, is that plant looking at me?"

Geordi: "Plant? I thought that was counselor Troi."

 

[Timewalker]

Geordi: "Ro, I've just noticed that you have a funny way of sitting on chairs."

Ro: "Commander Riker teaches a seminar every Tuesday: '9315 Ways to Sit on Chairs.' This is number 672."

 

[Triskelion]

^LAL!

Yuta: So Commander Riker, what clan did your ancestors belong to?
Troi: Awkward....

Dauphin: Wes, she's put her thumb in my ice cream.
Guinan: But you ordered the "Whorled Chocolate".
Wesley: You should try her Tofu!

Riker: When I get back, I'm going to Utah.
Yuta: Yes?
Riker: Yes?
Yuta: When you get back where?
Riker: Utah.
Yuta: Yes?
Riker: What?
Yuta: You said my name.
Riker: No I didn't, I said I was going to Utah.
Yuta: Well what do you want then?
Riker: I would like to be left in peace to eat my meal, but I don't want to offend you and get spit in my drink for the rest of my life.
Yuta: I don't spit in people's drinks.
Troi: No, you just poison them.
Riker: I never had this problem in Utah, I can tell you that.
Yuta: When were you in - oh never mind. Probably some holodeck thing.
Riker: What the ...are you talking about? I was talking about being in Utah, not you, Yuta.
Yuta: UM it's pronounced "Yu-ta". Not "Yu-Yu-Ta."
Troi: A good point, Will.
Riker: A good point will what?
Troi: Will what what?
Yuta: RIKER! Will RIKER!
Riker: Will Riker what? Do I have a com call? I hope it's Utah.
Yuta: HOW...WHY....WHAT THE CRAP, DUDE! I've had enough of this row!
Troi: Me too, but it's pronounced "Ro."
Riker: OH HERE WE GO. HELLO, UTAH.
Yuta: OH WILL RIKER, SHUT UP!
Troi: I've asked that same question many a time.

 

[galleywest]

Worf: SURPRISE!!

Riker: *sigh* No, let's go through this again...


And a rare photoshop entry for me:

Yuta: I'm pretty sure...yeah, that's a wig.

 

[LeadHead]

New contest begins!