TNG Caption This! #426: Ready for Captioning

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Romulan, eyes closed: Avenge me, brother...kill the Klingons!

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    As they parted, Laren gazed longingly across the room at Wesley, but their love could never be.



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    Picard: There! Is! ONE! light!
     
  2. Sad Kelpian Child

    Sad Kelpian Child Admiral Admiral

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    A Starfleet Captain will never admit to a fart.

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    DATA: Data to Captain. I fear the energy being has evolved to a state where it may consider just knocking over the table.

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    ROMULAN: I would rather die...than pollute my lungs with Klingon BO.

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    RIKER: YOU'RE AN INSUBORDINATE CREW MEMBER!
    RO: YOU'RE A DOMINEERING JERK!
    RIKER: Would you...like to come back to my quarters?
    RO: ...Yeah, I'm feeling this.

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    RIKER: Is that...Sonya Gomez?
    SONYA: Are the Borg gone? Can I stop hiding in the closet?
     
  3. Dr. San Guinary

    Dr. San Guinary Fleet Admiral Admiral

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  4. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Romulan: "Gimme it! If I'm to die, I want to die in bling!"
     
  5. Hutchy01

    Hutchy01 Captain Captain

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    Riker: Chief/Ensign/CPO/Lieutenant/Technician 3rd class O'Brian!

    (When will anyone get the RD jokes?!)
     
  6. TolkienOtaku

    TolkienOtaku Lieutenant Red Shirt

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    Picard stands by his bad puns, no matter what his crew says.

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    Data: "I believe Test 42 went rather well."
    Geordi: "But I'm still no closer to a girlfriend."

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    Worf: "Oh, you like this sash? Sorry, it's for Klingons only."
    Romulan: "Curses."

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    Ensign Ro: "Eyes up here, captioners."
    Captioners: "Crap! She's onto us!"

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    Geordi: "Jinkies!"
     
  7. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Ro: You guys are really bad at breaking-and-entering. You're not even wearing black.
    ..why are you in my quarters, anyway?
    Data: It is called a 'panty raid'.
     
  8. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    LAFORGE: Does Ro have some sort of facial tick?

    DATA: No, I believe she is attempting to communicate using eye blinks in a ancient format called "Morse Code".

    LAFORGE: What's she saying?

    DATA: if...not...back...in...an... hour...call... the...police
     
  9. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Ro: Why is that Chinese guy laughing?
    Riker: Because in Chinese "Ro Laren" means "Spicy People Meat."
    Ro: Well that explains what he's doing with that spatula.


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    Beverly: Jean Luc, if you'd like to come to sick bay later we can fit you for your shoe lifts.
    Picard: I dont know what you're talking about Doctor. I am six feet tall.
    Riker: Really? I don't see it. I'm six three and you are at least eight inches shorter than me.
    Picard: I'm as tall as Worf!
    Riker: No, I believe he's six three too. How tall are you, Doctor?
    Picard: Well there's no use in that, obviously I tower over her.
    Beverly: Five foot seven. I'd say you have two inches on me, Jean Luc.
    Picard: Don't listen to the giantess! I am six feet tall! My last physical confirmed it!
    Beverly: Oh, so that's why you were wearing your Robin Hood hat the whole time!


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    Geordi: Leah said she's with me every time I touch the engines.
    Data: That explains the force field activations.


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    Romulan: Vorf, sometimes people blindly wear the same thing again and again.
    Worf: Are you currently experiencing this phenomenon?
    Romulan: I didn't see it until today. I got out of a relationship with a plainly-uniformed man, and I got right back into another, with a man who is absolutely incapable of wearing a plain uniform.
    Worf: There does appear to be a recurring motif.
    Romulan: You were so well-groomed and dashing. I thought that would be enough.
    Worf: It is not?
    Romulan: No, it's not. Because as snazzy as we are, shoulder pads don't really matter to you. Not really. Nothing I can say or do will ever make your shouders bigger or more imposing, or exaggerate your shoulders in any way.
    Worf: That is a valid projection. It is apparent that my reach has exceeded my grasp in this particular area. I am perhaps not nearly so broad-shouldered as I aspire to become. If you are ready to die, I will bring our suicide daggers.
    Romulan: No, that's alright, Vorf. I'd better pass out now.
    Worf: As you wish. Subcommander. Are we no longer enemies?
    Romulan: No, we're not.
    Worf: Then I will put away the appropriate daggers.
    Romulan: I'll see you later. <passes out>
    Worf <finds a dagger in his sash>: Hello, Spotted with the Blood of My Enemies.


     
  10. Cancel Culture

    Cancel Culture Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    BEVERLY: Well, Jean-Luc, all you ever wanted to do was talk about archeology.

     
  11. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

    :guffaw:

    This one made me laugh harder than any in a long time.
     
  12. Mojochi

    Mojochi Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker: Sir, your tailor reports having equipment problems

    Picard: Make it sew.

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    Geordi: We really should stop running these dangerous experiments 15 feet from the warp core

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    The moment when Worf realized that because of his fashion choices, even a sickbay patient could gain hand to hand combat advantage on him

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    With 1 glance, Riker scored the menage a troi

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    Riker: Shh! Do you hear that? It sounded like someone about to caption something about my posture
     
  13. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    LAFORGE: You Herberts are totally harshing my buzz, man

    RIKER: Sorry, I dropped my keys.
     
  14. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: "...clearly I was the only one who remembers it's No-Pants Sunday."

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    Data: "Geordi, we are merely adding Mentos into Coca-Cola. Is the Level 1 force field necessary."

    Geordi: "You know how hard it is to get that stuff out of this carpet?"

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    Worf: "Well I was having second thoughts about letting you die like the stubborn jackass that I am, but then you had to go and invade my personal space."

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    Ro: "...If I don't make it back in an hour, send champagne."

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    Riker: "You ever notice almost every other ship we run into has had a bad accident? How the hell does Starfleet even stay in business?"
     
  15. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    ROMULAN: Nice material. I know this tailor on Terok Nor who'd love to get a hold of some.
     
  16. The Return of Zombie Cheerleader

    The Return of Zombie Cheerleader Moar Nu Trek Pleeze Premium Member

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    GEORDI: This is it...

    DATA: What?

    GEORDI: A mint condition Playmates TNG transporter toy from the 1990s.

    DATA: No box?

    GEORDI: I hate you.
     
  17. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    The chocolate ploy had worked. With Troi busy, Ro sneaked off to experience 50 Shades of Beard.
     
  18. Restless Spirit

    Restless Spirit Wandering the Mortal Realm Moderator

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    Worf (O/S): Borg cube approaching at high warp, sir!
    Picard: Red Alert! Commander Riker, scramble all Viper squadrons immediately!
    Crusher: You *do* know those are from Battlestar Galactica, not Star Trek, right?
    Picard: ... Frak.

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    Data: Why is the force field necessary, Geordi?
    LaForge: Well, Red Matter is extremely dangerous, so I wanted to keep it contained.
    Data: Red Matter? But it does not appear to be red.
    LaForge: Oh, I mixed it with some White Matter we had in storage.
    Data: I am beginning to suspect we need better scientific advisers in this franchise.

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    Romulan: Nice sash.
    Worf: Ugh. It is a baldric. Baldric! How hard is it for the scriptwriters to get that right?!

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    Ro: Eight-hour away team duty? I'm glad I took Imodium AD.
    Riker: Who are you talking to?
    Ro: You know... everyone.

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    Riker: Riker to Picard. Sorry sir, there's no sign of that damn fourth wall down here, either!
     
  19. Jedman67

    Jedman67 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    ^fixed
     
  20. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Geordi: "Look, Data, I don't ask questions. If Dr. Crusher wants a drop of antimatter in her Cosmo, then that's what she's getting."