TNG Caption This! #426: Ready for Captioning

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Romulan, eyes closed: Avenge me, brother...kill the Klingons!

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    As they parted, Laren gazed longingly across the room at Wesley, but their love could never be.



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    Picard: There! Is! ONE! light!
     
  2. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Admiral Admiral

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    A Starfleet Captain will never admit to a fart.

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    DATA: Data to Captain. I fear the energy being has evolved to a state where it may consider just knocking over the table.

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    ROMULAN: I would rather die...than pollute my lungs with Klingon BO.

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    RIKER: YOU'RE AN INSUBORDINATE CREW MEMBER!
    RO: YOU'RE A DOMINEERING JERK!
    RIKER: Would you...like to come back to my quarters?
    RO: ...Yeah, I'm feeling this.

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    RIKER: Is that...Sonya Gomez?
    SONYA: Are the Borg gone? Can I stop hiding in the closet?
     
  3. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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  4. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Romulan: "Gimme it! If I'm to die, I want to die in bling!"
     
  5. Hutchy01

    Hutchy01 Captain Captain

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    Riker: Chief/Ensign/CPO/Lieutenant/Technician 3rd class O'Brian!

    (When will anyone get the RD jokes?!)
     
  6. TolkienOtaku

    TolkienOtaku Lieutenant Red Shirt

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    Picard stands by his bad puns, no matter what his crew says.

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    Data: "I believe Test 42 went rather well."
    Geordi: "But I'm still no closer to a girlfriend."

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    Worf: "Oh, you like this sash? Sorry, it's for Klingons only."
    Romulan: "Curses."

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    Ensign Ro: "Eyes up here, captioners."
    Captioners: "Crap! She's onto us!"

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    Geordi: "Jinkies!"
     
  7. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Ro: You guys are really bad at breaking-and-entering. You're not even wearing black.
    ..why are you in my quarters, anyway?
    Data: It is called a 'panty raid'.
     
  8. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Worf in the 23rd Century Premium Member

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    LAFORGE: Does Ro have some sort of facial tick?

    DATA: No, I believe she is attempting to communicate using eye blinks in a ancient format called "Morse Code".

    LAFORGE: What's she saying?

    DATA: if...not...back...in...an... hour...call... the...police
     
  9. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Ro: Why is that Chinese guy laughing?
    Riker: Because in Chinese "Ro Laren" means "Spicy People Meat."
    Ro: Well that explains what he's doing with that spatula.


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    Beverly: Jean Luc, if you'd like to come to sick bay later we can fit you for your shoe lifts.
    Picard: I dont know what you're talking about Doctor. I am six feet tall.
    Riker: Really? I don't see it. I'm six three and you are at least eight inches shorter than me.
    Picard: I'm as tall as Worf!
    Riker: No, I believe he's six three too. How tall are you, Doctor?
    Picard: Well there's no use in that, obviously I tower over her.
    Beverly: Five foot seven. I'd say you have two inches on me, Jean Luc.
    Picard: Don't listen to the giantess! I am six feet tall! My last physical confirmed it!
    Beverly: Oh, so that's why you were wearing your Robin Hood hat the whole time!


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    Geordi: Leah said she's with me every time I touch the engines.
    Data: That explains the force field activations.


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    Romulan: Vorf, sometimes people blindly wear the same thing again and again.
    Worf: Are you currently experiencing this phenomenon?
    Romulan: I didn't see it until today. I got out of a relationship with a plainly-uniformed man, and I got right back into another, with a man who is absolutely incapable of wearing a plain uniform.
    Worf: There does appear to be a recurring motif.
    Romulan: You were so well-groomed and dashing. I thought that would be enough.
    Worf: It is not?
    Romulan: No, it's not. Because as snazzy as we are, shoulder pads don't really matter to you. Not really. Nothing I can say or do will ever make your shouders bigger or more imposing, or exaggerate your shoulders in any way.
    Worf: That is a valid projection. It is apparent that my reach has exceeded my grasp in this particular area. I am perhaps not nearly so broad-shouldered as I aspire to become. If you are ready to die, I will bring our suicide daggers.
    Romulan: No, that's alright, Vorf. I'd better pass out now.
    Worf: As you wish. Subcommander. Are we no longer enemies?
    Romulan: No, we're not.
    Worf: Then I will put away the appropriate daggers.
    Romulan: I'll see you later. <passes out>
    Worf <finds a dagger in his sash>: Hello, Spotted with the Blood of My Enemies.


     
  10. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    BEVERLY: Well, Jean-Luc, all you ever wanted to do was talk about archeology.

     
  11. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

    :guffaw:

    This one made me laugh harder than any in a long time.
     
  12. Mojochi

    Mojochi Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker: Sir, your tailor reports having equipment problems

    Picard: Make it sew.

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    Geordi: We really should stop running these dangerous experiments 15 feet from the warp core

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    The moment when Worf realized that because of his fashion choices, even a sickbay patient could gain hand to hand combat advantage on him

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    With 1 glance, Riker scored the menage a troi

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    Riker: Shh! Do you hear that? It sounded like someone about to caption something about my posture
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Worf in the 23rd Century Premium Member

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    LAFORGE: You Herberts are totally harshing my buzz, man

    RIKER: Sorry, I dropped my keys.
     
  14. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: "...clearly I was the only one who remembers it's No-Pants Sunday."

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    Data: "Geordi, we are merely adding Mentos into Coca-Cola. Is the Level 1 force field necessary."

    Geordi: "You know how hard it is to get that stuff out of this carpet?"

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    Worf: "Well I was having second thoughts about letting you die like the stubborn jackass that I am, but then you had to go and invade my personal space."

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    Ro: "...If I don't make it back in an hour, send champagne."

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    Riker: "You ever notice almost every other ship we run into has had a bad accident? How the hell does Starfleet even stay in business?"
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Worf in the 23rd Century Premium Member

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    ROMULAN: Nice material. I know this tailor on Terok Nor who'd love to get a hold of some.
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Worf in the 23rd Century Premium Member

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    GEORDI: This is it...

    DATA: What?

    GEORDI: A mint condition Playmates TNG transporter toy from the 1990s.

    DATA: No box?

    GEORDI: I hate you.
     
  17. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    The chocolate ploy had worked. With Troi busy, Ro sneaked off to experience 50 Shades of Beard.
     
  18. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Sorry. Moderator

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    Worf (O/S): Borg cube approaching at high warp, sir!
    Picard: Red Alert! Commander Riker, scramble all Viper squadrons immediately!
    Crusher: You *do* know those are from Battlestar Galactica, not Star Trek, right?
    Picard: ... Frak.

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    Data: Why is the force field necessary, Geordi?
    LaForge: Well, Red Matter is extremely dangerous, so I wanted to keep it contained.
    Data: Red Matter? But it does not appear to be red.
    LaForge: Oh, I mixed it with some White Matter we had in storage.
    Data: I am beginning to suspect we need better scientific advisers in this franchise.

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    Romulan: Nice sash.
    Worf: Ugh. It is a baldric. Baldric! How hard is it for the scriptwriters to get that right?!

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    Ro: Eight-hour away team duty? I'm glad I took Imodium AD.
    Riker: Who are you talking to?
    Ro: You know... everyone.

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    Riker: Riker to Picard. Sorry sir, there's no sign of that damn fourth wall down here, either!
     
  19. Jedman67

    Jedman67 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    ^fixed
     
  20. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Geordi: "Look, Data, I don't ask questions. If Dr. Crusher wants a drop of antimatter in her Cosmo, then that's what she's getting."